Kathy Ireland in a Bikini Was a Bad Idea

A long time ago, in what feels like a galaxy far, far away, Kathy Ireland used to be one of the hottest Sports Illustrated models in America during a strange and magical time when my penis was becoming more than just an alien my G.I. Joes fought in the tub. And sometimes at recess. Jump 20 years to today, and here’s Kathy in Hawaii getting ready to give water birth which is, really, the only possible explanation for what’s happening in these photos. Now, some might say, she’s simply your typical 48-year-old mom playing with her kids to which I say, “Oh, what, just ’cause she’s a woman she has to be a mom? That’s sexist. And, yes, I know what I said about water birth. Don’t tell me what I said, I tell you what you said for breakfast.” (Captain of the Debate Team.)

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Splash News