Kathy Ireland in a Bikini Was a Bad Idea

June 7th, 2011 // 122 Comments

A long time ago, in what feels like a galaxy far, far away, Kathy Ireland used to be one of the hottest Sports Illustrated models in America during a strange and magical time when my penis was becoming more than just an alien my G.I. Joes fought in the tub. And sometimes at recess. Jump 20 years to today, and here’s Kathy in Hawaii getting ready to give water birth which is, really, the only possible explanation for what’s happening in these photos. Now, some might say, she’s simply your typical 48-year-old mom playing with her kids to which I say, “Oh, what, just ’cause she’s a woman she has to be a mom? That’s sexist. And, yes, I know what I said about water birth. Don’t tell me what I said, I tell you what you said for breakfast.” (Captain of the Debate Team.)

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Splash News

superficial

  1. Kathy Ireland Bikini
    Gigs
    Commented on this photo:

    These pics prove that getting old reeeeeeealy sucks

  2. maeby

    Nope. She looks good.

    • Cher X

      Seriously. Just has a tiny bit of a belly and her shorts are hung too low. I think she looks good.

      • Clarence Beeks

        I never liked her face as a model, but that body…..sigh. she still looks good- she’s almost 50! She looks better than most of the flabby 20 somethings out these days.

      • Artofwar

        … I was waiting for one of you— “she just looks like a real woman’– pontificators to emerge from the kitchen. See here is the thing— so called “real women” attract and marry average, and below average real men.

        Non-real women, for lack of a better term, marry extraordinary, unreal men, with really, really, real, freakishly unreal, eminence bank-accounts.

        Women that pull-down multi-zillionaires are not supposed to look like real woman. They are supposed to look unreal like a zillion bucks, thus the reason they are proposed marriage by zillionaire men..

        If you insist on looking like a so called “real woman” then I hope that you are also comfortable marring average to bellow average so called ”real men”

        If not, then may I suggest that you get your flabby, soft bodies to the gym, and hit it until you no-longer look like a so called “real woman” but as a woman that is worthy of the finer things in life, of which a rich man can and would afford for you– since most all women have only to offer a rich man is aesthetic beauty.

        There now, see how everything falls neatly into perspective, and so too does the natural order of all things in nature…..Artofwar

    • sam

      Boy, time sure played a number on her. Bet she’s bitter.

      • I bet you’re wrong. She still looks great, much better than most men her same age! Of course, men in far worse shape think they’re like Roman gods and don’t see their beer guts and jowls.
        She made lots of dough and she can do whatever she wants. Time passes and touches everyone.
        You must be bitter your life hasn’t been as good as hers. Ha ha…

    • me

      I know the pool I go to, nobody looks that good. But that’s the REAL world. NOT the superficial one. Lay off the woman, she’s beautiful!

    • Jojo

      Seriously, what is depressing is that this mess is still way hotter than my wife who is 12 years younger. I’ll just kill myself now, if you don’t mind.

    • Robo-Jihad

      She looks REALLY good… and even better for 48… I’m hungry for her pussy and asshole mmmmm mmm mmmm

      • I agree. I would rather have a night with her than with 5 of those skinny teenage boy looking models running around today. i want to bang a sexy body, not bones.

    • Dan

      agreed. she looks yummy to me.

  3. Ryan

    Shambo lives! Next season on Survivor.

  4. Cardinal Fang

    I do her.

  5. Drundel

    She actually has boobs now.

  6. Kathy Ireland Bikini
    dawn
    Commented on this photo:

    You do realize she 48! How many 48 year olds look like that? Not many. she is pretty hot!

  7. Deacon Jones

    noooOOOOo!

    Growing up as a kid, the neighbor had a giant tree fort with a safe bolted to the tree. We used to keep a copy of her SI cover issue, in the yellow and green bikini and drool over it.

    Then we’d get pissed off when the neighborhood girls would come by the fort and throw pre-dried dirt bombs at them. Which, thinking back, is pretty ironic. It’s like going to a casino and then screaming at everybody for gambling.

  8. Peter Brant, Jr

    Doesn’t do it for me.

  9. It had to be said

    Jesus, lady eats one watermelon whole and she gets ripped on the Internet.

  10. Yuck. Hope there’s a Kathy Norway or South-Africa out there who looks better

  11. Sage Advice

    God, she looks awful.

    Men, if you ever succumb to the pressure to get married, don’t do it for life. Make it a 5\5 commitment, in which every fifth year, you decide whether to renew for another 5 years. If you have strong negotiating power, have the terms switch to two year renewable terms once your bride reaches age 40 – believe me – you’ll be glad you did.

    Now, if you both are broke and ugly, you’ll probably stick together. But if either one of you has lost it physically (see Kathy Ireland, above), or if one of you is a big earner, and the other a big mooch, you need to be able to pull the rip cord and escape.

  12. Cock Dr

    “a strange and magical time when my penis was becoming more than just an alien my G.I. Joes fought in the tub.”

    Awwwwwwwwwwwwww.
    The action figures involved have probably changed some since those daze.

  13. Kathy Ireland Bikini
    BENWAW
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d do her

  14. Sir-rough-a-lot

    Consummate business woman, probably trying to woo the stout market…

  15. cc

    You know what sucks? The fact that my sister was a dead ringer for Kathy Ireland (and as much as I hate to admit it, looks better than Kathy does now). You do not want to be the younger brother of the hottest girl in your zipcode.

    Someone, please, I need a counsellor.

    • sam

      Boy, you played it wrong. Having a hot sister = her hot friends come over and you get to rap with them and assist them in their sexual awakening.. And the horny boys come by and agree to give you rides and give you beer and pot because you are a gatekeeper of sorts.

      • Deacon Jones

        Dude, cc, tell me you got laid by one of your sister’s friends

        Teenage girls as so fucked up/desperate for attention that I’m willing to bet one of them fucked you just for bragging rights.

      • Richard McBeef

        plus you can hidden camera up the bathroom and make money online.

      • Umm...Really?

        LOL. “a gatekeeper of sorts”. Ahhh…that was good.

    • cc

      Deacon Jones, actually, yes but only once. And not until I was 18.

  16. Kathy Ireland Bikini
    adolf hitler
    Commented on this photo:

    id let her give me a blow job, but would do nothing for her.

  17. heather

    Happens to the best of us!

  18. Vivian

    Her midsection needs a little work, so does Sofia Vergara’s and that doesn’t stop any of them from looking good. A few crunches a day or maybe a lipo and they’d be good as new. The rest of her is fine, she’s got good muscle tone and no cellulite aside from her belly.

    • S'up Bitches!

      Uh, I geuss you didn’t notice the Granny legs?

    • Dr Ha-Ha

      That’s not a body that betrays regular exercise (I can’t comment on diet, because no exercise can betray even a really good one, but I’m going to assume she’s at least a meat eater).

  19. Kathy Ireland Bikini
    BENWAW
    Commented on this photo:

    Adolf
    History has shown you are not a giving person

  20. You used to have GI Joe battles with your penis too? Did you ever pretend the tip was Boba Fett’s helmet?

  21. Time to bust out my VHS copy of Alien from L.A.

  22. hobo killer

    I think she just needs to take a huge shit.

  23. The Everlasting Know-it-all

    Hey screw you guys! Kathy Ireland can do any damn thing she wants!

  24. CC

    Listen to all of the bashers. Non of you cock suckers could land her, look in the mirror. I’d be proud to bed that!

  25. MarkM

    “Kids! Mama made a big ol’e pitcher of some Cherry Kool Aid! Commmmmme and git it!”

  26. Umm...Really?

    I’ve been here just a couple of days checking things out. I just have to say that some of you are here waaaay too much and you need to get.a.fucking life! You’re funny and horribly pathetic at the same time. However, I find you entertaining and amusing so, that being said, carry on cocksuckers!!! :)

  27. Keyser Ballsy

    I’d hit that. 40 plus rug munching is as good as 20 year old.

  28. Reece

    Isn’t she that model that talked about gaining a ton of weight then losing it when her kids pointed out how big she had gotten?
    She looks good then if that’s the case. Maybe she’s still working it off. Can’t knock her for that.

    • oh i know

      yes!! i remember that, i think there was a shot of her at a bday party or something and her belly has gotten pretty big..this IS an improvement!!

  29. Kathy Ireland Bikini
    terry pierce
    Commented on this photo:

    it is a bitch getting old……..but i’d have loved to have gotten old with her. one of my all time favorite beauties.

  30. Kathy Ireland Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I have wanked to her so many times I can not possibly say anything bad about her. I even think she looks OK for her age. WOULD!!! Still.

  31. Kathy Ireland Bikini
    Enidaj
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s 48 and had 3 children, give it a rest, idiot.

  32. Heez magnif

    Nice tits.

  33. chev70

    She looks pretty good. I’d be there in a heartbeat.

  34. Clarence Beeks

    One thing I feel I must remind you boys.

    YOU MEN WILL SAG TOO. Have you SEEN Ryan O’Neal, Jack Nicholson, VAL KILMER, Tom Cruise, John Travolta? Need I mention more? You will lose hair, sag, get pot bellies and grow hair out of your ears. getting older is a fucking blast for both sexes.

    *grumbles to self about how one sided these posts are*

    • me

      where the HELL is Kurt Russell??????????

    • Dirty old whore

      Fat, ugly, old guys still get laid by hot 20something women all the time if they have fame, money and power those are the big equalizers for guys. As long as we have those we could look like Rush Limbaugh and still get the hottest ass on the planet (see Hugh Hefner for details).

      • Clarence Beeks

        I know that. I am just talking about the comments ripping her apart physically. My point is, is happens to men too, so people should STFU.

  35. HackSaw

    I hit it.

  36. chicago_animal

    Because she isn’t Thin as a board she isn’t hot? You know damn well you would still bang her! Now go post a Jersey Shore story that no one cares about.

  37. :P

    Oh please- 2 weeks of sit-ups and she’d look amazing for any age (esp 48). Most women would have to do endless pilates to achieve what she looked like 20 years ago.

  38. Kathy Ireland Bikini
    hH
    Commented on this photo:

    oh fish! c’mon. give her a break! she still looks good. sheesh.

  39. me

    this post was a total reach…..

  40. Kathy Ireland Bikini
    Dickie Merritt
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks a lot better than my wife.

  41. Kathy Ireland Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks better than my wife and they’re the same age.

  42. Mime

    Hope your dicks fall off for being so superficial. She’s amazing. That’s just her relaxing and being herself. It’s ok to be 48. She’s more beautiful now than most women half her age will ever be.

  43. Kathy Ireland Bikini
    toopier
    Commented on this photo:

    Sure, you can walk on water now, but one day your just going to have a beer gut and bittersweet memories.

  44. Kathy Ireland Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d still put that motorboat out to sea.

  45. Ari Gold

    I would do her for nostalgia alone

  46. Kathy Ireland Bikini
    Lacey
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she looks pretty freakin’ good! That figure @ 48? I’d take that!

  47. the captain

    why is it americans think they can always wear a bikini?
    …………..EVEN WHEN THEY’RE FAT, OLD & GRUMPY!!!!!!!!!!!

  48. Arzach

    And all my teenager fantasies… just died

  49. Kathy Ireland Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    still smokin..i beg for my wife to look like that at 48..but what matters is she good in bed..if shes an ice queen, who cares.

  50. Kathy Ireland Bikini
    Raw Palms
    Commented on this photo:

    I have polished more johnson to her than any two other girls. I’d still stick my tongue anywhere she let me. If the resolution on these pics were better, I’d knock one off now.

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