Katherine Heigl in a bikini has the poise of a Yeti

June 16th, 2008 // 113 Comments

Katherine Heigl slipped off to Mexico this weekend with her husband Josh Kelley. When I initially found out there were bikini pics of Katherine, I expected some sexy awesomeness. What I got instead is akin to seeing my arthritic grandma lumber across the dunes of Tatooine. Anyone who got that joke, I just want you to know not all girls look like this. Keep trying to make contact and, eventually, one of them will touch your lightsaber. Statistics is on your side!

NOTE: The Geekologie Writer is on record saying he’d hit it. I informed him we were talking about Katherine Heigl and not my grandmother. He has since retracted his statement. Not sure what he did with all that prune juice though.

superficial

  1. lambman

    she always seems like such a cunt, and her “beauty” is nothing but make-up and push-up bras

  2. Holyfuck

    #48 and #49,

    With all due respect, you are both crazy. This chick ‘s body is far from “perfect” or “beautiful.” Granted she would look good if she was 45 or 50, but she is 29. That means that she is lazy with poor eating habits. If she continues to be a bitchy slob, her career is going to take a nosedive.

  3. adeeperlook

    I think her body looking all flabby is mostly due to her bikini. For some reason it makes her body look chunky. If you try to look beyond that bikini its actually quite perky. I admit her poise is horrible.

  4. Lynn

    She is such a cuttie. Her photos were seen at millionaire persoanals site ******W e a l t h y R o m a n c e . c o m*****last week. It is said she is already in relationship with a young billionaire on that site now.

    ?????????????????

  5. Lynn

    She is such a cuttie. Her photos were seen at millionaire persoanalss site ******W e a l t h y R o m a n c e . c o m*****last week. It is said she is already in relationship with a young billionaire on that site now.

    ?????????????????

  6. mrs.t

    She’s 29??? I thought everyone was being too hard on her, but knowing that: Katherine Heigl, get thee to a 3-month yoga retreat, pronto.

  7. Danklin24

    wtf superfish, Katherine Heigl is a fuckin hottie. Arthritic grandmother my ass.

  8. redsonja1313

    too much gut, too much thight, saggy boobs, and she is a mean bitch who smokes. I hope she gets fired from her dumb tv show and fades back into oblivion

  9. wet newspaper

    Picture 6 = Tsunami.

  10. will

    A teensy bit flabby and smokers are fucking gross and pathetic, but other than that, she looks way better than what any of you douche bags could get.

  11. Mm Hmm

    Ew, wtf is hot about her? She’s plain, she’s full of herself, and she sucks. I think she’s sorta ugg, too…

    Katherine, if you’re reading this: GET OVER YOURSELF

  12. Kate

    WomantoWoman….Ok Ok, sooooooooooooo what exactly would you suggest a woman who doesn’t have a great body, or is overweight or whatever, wear to the beach? And we all know they’re going to go regardless of what they look like and you kjnow they’re going to wear something skimpy…so what would you suggest for a fat woman?

  13. I’m with #29. And KH looks fine in these pics… I don’t care for her as an actress or respect her recent Emmy move, but her body is pretty bangin’.

  14. kitty_kat

    I always did find Katherine Heigl rather plain-looking by Hollywood standards. You could pick any chick off the street, do her makeup and she’d be just as good (if not, better). And she’s kind of a bitch to boot. Not a fan.

  15. Seriouslyupset

    please look at picture 12. How in the hell is that considered fat! Just because she is not 5’0 weighing in at 99 lbs like your 12 year old daughter and other “hott” movie stars. You people have no right to judge since im almost positive none of your significant others look this good in a swimsuit. You people sicken me and are the reason why girls get eating disorders and think they are fat when they dont weigh under 120. If you saw her in real life she would look amazing.

  16. Seriouslyupset

    please look at picture 12. How in the hell is that considered fat! Just because she is not 5’0 weighing in at 99 lbs like your 12 year old daughter and other “hott” movie stars. You people have no right to judge since im almost positive none of your significant others look this good in a swimsuit. You people sicken me and are the reason why girls get eating disorders and think they are fat when they dont weigh under 120. If you saw her in real life she would look amazing.

  17. shudap

    And you all know she smokes because you all know her personally?? Funny… I didn’t see a cigarette in her hand in any of these pics. Smoking IS pretty gross though. Who wants to smell an ashtray while bangin that?!. …Hmmm… Wait. *I* would!! She’s effing HOT!

  18. I want Katherine Heigl to blow cigarette smoke in my mouth as we french kiss and fuck. That would be paradise, unlike Mexico!

    P.S. – Why do they seem so oblvious to the tidal wave about to squash them?

  19. tesss

    omg i have that exact same bikini from gina tricot!! i can’t believe she shops there :D

  20. Mojito

    heck, the girl’s a size 4 call the anorexic police!

    … come on people, stop pretending you’re better looking than katherine and admit she’s a babe. over and out.

  21. Smoke on this

    Are you all blind or just stupid….Those fucking pics were obviously photoshopped.

  22. woman to woman

    #62. For a woman who is overweight (hopefully trying to eat healthily and work out and become not overweight) I would suggest a tasteful one piece with a matching skirt, the kind you can swim in. It should have lots of support, a slimming effect (like those body shaping garments) and show off some cleavage or if the person is not busty a nice color or pattern to complement the skin and hair colour. Also a little effort on hair and nice sunglasses goes a long way, wearing some nice healed sandals while not swimming and lounging will elongate the figure.

    Don’t take my comments to heart they are satirical. Yeah it’s nice to look your best, but there’s a fuckload more to life than what your ass looks like in a bikini and anyone who thinks differently is a lunatic.

    This website is proof that no one is immune to vicious superficial criticism so you might as well be happy, develop a thick skin, an “I don’t give a fuck what people think attitude”, rid your life of douchebags who bring you down and never put much importance on wealth, fame, and looks because the loosers who have or strive to have ONLY those things are miserable fucking trainwrecks.

  23. Smoke on this

    Take a close look at #10

  24. smoking sucks

    #71. The pics of her in amgazines are photoshopped to hell and give a pretty fucked up illusion of what she really looks like. Even if these were altered, which I don’t think they were, her posture is hedious and she is not in great shape and that’s a fact.

  25. ...................

    Let her smoke if she fucking wants to. Jesus.

  26. ...................

    Let her smoke if she fucking wants to. Jesus.

  27. snarkymalarky

    cellulite city + an unflattering bikini= yeeech. I was under the impression this chick was long and lanky; espc in the leg dept. But all I see here are little tree stumps. Although these pics do seem a bit fixed…maybe someone was seeking revenge for her snippy comments about the awards ceremonies she was too good for and set her up???

  28. CHELSEA

    hahaha suckstobeyou, love your comment. anyone that thinks she’s fat or gross, i guarantee you’d kill to be her and you’re probably just some overweight pig

  29. ph7

    Looking old and lumpy.

  30. Bob

    Oh,so cute!I love her.Maybe she want to find more new friends,she is on “S e e k i n g R i c h . c o m “.On “S e e k i n g R i c h . c o m”,there are many beautiful girls and rich,handsome men,they want to find more friends,find their lover.On that site,they make friends each other.If you are single now,I think you would come to the site.Please believe yourself,you will find your lover.Come on!

  31. janie118

    I dunno if you remember her in the movie “My Father, the Hero” with Gererd Depardieu, pretty old movie and she was so young back then, but so beautiful and natural..a real natural beauty. I don´t understand what happened to her.. maybe it´s smoking..actually these are the first pics I see where she is not holding a cig.. and she is always wearing so much makeup, don´t think she needs it. she should return to that naturalness and healthy lifestyle

  32. Megan

    She’s not fat by any means, she just needs to ditch that style of bikini top. Makes the boobs look saggy, and at her age I’m going to just assume they aren’t.

  33. fat bitch w/ an opinion

    where are you seeing cellulite? leaving her personality out of this (b/c i dont really know shit about it), i think she looks fine. look at her arm in 11 & 12, and her hip bones in 7 & 8. her belly and posture probably come from being wasted.. i recognize that move as the drunk determined walk, which looks better when fully clothed. plus… real boobs!! id bone this before most of the other bitches posted on this site recently.. (phoebe price?? heidi montag boulder tits??)

  34. Deacon Jones

    hehe…..Chewbacca…….too funny

    “RAWWWWRRRRR”

  35. Fumus

    Katherine Heigl > 1337

  36. Lenna

    JESUS with that HUGE wave behind her in the picture no. 5, looks like a friggin tsunami!!!

  37. TS

    Bottom line is she is a staunch feminist and she clearly does not work out, probably because she thinks she would be bowing to Hollywood expectations if she did. As a result, although not fat, she is clearly not in great shape. Sure she may not be “fat” but she sure as hell is nowhere near tone. And sometimes that can be just as gross as fat.

  38. Neiman

    I think she is really pretty. The bikini is ugly and she is not the most graceful person on Earth, but she is far more attractive than most of the population, including the pasty, flabby office workers who look at this website.

    What the fuck is up with “meh”? Does anyone actually ever say that out loud?

  39. Andy

    You can’t be a cunt and look like that.

  40. Clive

    Wow, a lot of angry people in this site. Anger behind the keyboard means you are really really unhappy about your own life….

    The pictures are relaxed and normal. She is not posing, she is relaxing at the beach with her husband and friends. There is no photoshop either-darling dumb American men, do you really think your Maxim chicks have those perfectly smooth bodies? Dahling, I hate to disappoint you: they are all cleaned up. Katherine is beautidul and smart and her body is very good. NO ONE has a totally flawless body, unless you are 15 (even then there can be skin spots).

    It just makes me laugh to think the fat lards behind their computers even dare to criticize a woman they would NEVER be able to get…ha ha.

  41. naturally

    #52-her body is perfect for being natural. most women have cellulite, god forbid. not every woman has silicone or have to be cut with muscle. dont most men like women who are soft anyways?her stomach is ript enough

  42. ???

    #91,

    What are you, an idiot? Soft breasts, maybe. But soft, or in this case pudgy and saggy, not even. Keep in mind that she is (or was) a Hollywood sex symbol. And she is not even 30 yet she looks like this? Does she have any kids? Because if so she might deserve a pass.

    Her manager is clearly not doing his/her job. She needs to hit the gym.

  43. I think she had a HEAVY period at the time folks!!

  44. FCS

    Just when I thought this chick couldn’t become less interesting, I was proved wrong. Grey’s is done, u can only make the same movie so many times and in a couple years, BOOM, back to obscurity and reality TV guest appearances

  45. PunkA

    Looks better than Britney. If she hit the gym hard for 90 days, she would be rockin. Not in train wreck shape, but could be better. Average woman. With curves. Just needs to firm up is all. Not fat. And I bet she takes it in the pooper.

  46. Holyfuck

    PunkA,
    You hit the nail right on the head. I agree 100%. Not fat, but not looking great either. Nothing that some gym work won’t fix.

  47. Free The Pink Unicorn

    #95 yeah she does anal, but ruins by talking the whole time.

  48. Eirin

    That’s not a good bikini on her.
    Her boobs are too big for it, it makes them look saggy x)

  49. Bill C.

    In Pic Index #13 especially, she looks like a saggy 50+ gramma.

    If sharon Stone (who is now 50) gained 20 pounds, she’d look like this Heigl bitch.

  50. Tom

    She’s letting herself go. Not wise, Kathy, because your tits are much of the reason for your career.

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