Katherine Heigl in a bikini has the poise of a Yeti

June 16th, 2008 // 113 Comments

Katherine Heigl slipped off to Mexico this weekend with her husband Josh Kelley. When I initially found out there were bikini pics of Katherine, I expected some sexy awesomeness. What I got instead is akin to seeing my arthritic grandma lumber across the dunes of Tatooine. Anyone who got that joke, I just want you to know not all girls look like this. Keep trying to make contact and, eventually, one of them will touch your lightsaber. Statistics is on your side!

NOTE: The Geekologie Writer is on record saying he’d hit it. I informed him we were talking about Katherine Heigl and not my grandmother. He has since retracted his statement. Not sure what he did with all that prune juice though.

superficial

  1. mike

    She is not a cute as my goat. And first you scum sucking ass wipes.

  2. pucky

    I love you. Your comments and wit make my day everyday.

  3. jdrevv

    Frist!!

  4. Dick Bush

    This needs theme music…

  5. joanna

    her face is flawless, but her body… meh.

  6. Good thing she’s been so careful to bank a whole lot of goodwill, or these pictures might be used in mean spirited way. Kudos on the definitive white ass, about as good as it ever gets: flabby with cellulite, but somehow flat and undersized in places. No question, the nigs are after our wimmin for the status, not the sex.

  7. Lola

    ha ha ha ha ha ha….. that was awesome

    KH, shut the hell up already… no one gives a rat’s ass about your opinions

    hubby’s kinda on the ugly side too

  8. Becky

    I think she looks fine!

  9. jdrevv

    Mehh!!

    She should close her mouth about her show’s writers and that would also keep all the food from piling on her ass and thighs

  10. Mike Hawk

    I’d rather be riding the wave in pic. 5.

  11. I know, I know, too long. The only time Jimbo’s fingers work that hard is when grandma is having her dryness problem…

  12. I love how guys have this preconceived notion of what a women is supposed to look like at the beach, from viewing supposedly candid shots of stars who call the paps, stage the shots and decide which ones they can use. Just check out the bikini pics of Kim Kardashian. Oh, or do all women naturally walk around on their tippy toes when they wear a bikini…

  13. I love how guys have this preconceived notion of what a women is supposed to look like at the beach, from viewing supposedly candid shots of stars who call the paps, stage the shots and decide which ones they can use. Just check out the bikini pics of Kim Kardashian. Oh, or do all women naturally walk around on their tippy toes when they wear a bikini…

  14. Deacon Jones

    How the fuck did that wave not knock her on her fat ass in pic 5?

    And seriously, she looks like Chewbacca in that pic, great reference

  15. restingonlaurels

    she looks awesome, but bikini tops like that look good on no one.

  16. Tim

    Yeah yeah yeah, bring on the Women’s Studies 101 comments, they’re sooooo…SEXY!

    Anyway, I don’t think anybody will be surprised by these pictures. She’s well known for bad eating, exercise, and smoking habits. She peaked really early, not unlike that other health nut, Lindsay.

  17. Nick

    dang girl, wtf happened to your tight bod? i guess she got married and let herself go. hit the gym you flabby , jiggly piece of jello!!!

  18. Randal

    No. Smarten up fish!

    Randal

  19. Cindy

    At least Mistress Jiggly didn’t load herself down with pretentious accessories at the beach.

  20. Rick

    She’s got some minor flaws, and they could be fixed quite easily by proper diet and exercise, getting off cigarettes, and getting hit in the face as needed until she learns what not to say.

  21. Ken

    The hottest part about Katherine is that she smokes. Give her a break. Smoking is sexy!

  22. Ken

    The hottest part about Katherine is that she smokes. Give her a break. Smoking is sexy!

  23. Suckstobeyou

    why do i get the feeling that the men writing this are sitting at their cubicles (think office space) criticizing a gorgeous woman who if they saw in real life they would cream their jeans…and i’m sure all of your girlfriends or wives look better in a bathingsuit, oh wait, DOUBT IT. fuckin losers

  24. Captain-Insano

    Is she a mommy? She looks like a mommy. No offence to mommies.

  25. #23 – congrats, you win the obligatory “I don’t know what site I’m on” comment award.

    I’d still rape her, but exclusively out of anger for all her conceited talk, not because her body is worth taking.

  26. woman to woman

    WHY do you STUPID bitches wear such fucking hideous bikini’s??? All I see everywhere is fugly out of shape bitches wearing bikini’s that make them look even fuglier.
    Big mouth here needs a bikini bottom that is made of a strong fabric that will fit and lift and have a nice bandeau around the hips it’s much more flattering that way, this nasty bottom is riding up at the back and is totally flimsy which is not good for lumpy cellulite ridden boddies it’s sliding around on her fat ass like a wet pair of cotton underwear, no bitches that look does not flatter you and YES it makes you look FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT.
    Secondly that top is fucking gastly and makes her boobs look like two old mushy mangoes. Get some fucking underwire you dumfuck skanks and make your boobs look round and perky. What the fuck is it with these hideous strappless shapeless weirdo bikini tops that make your tits look like ASS??
    Bitch also needs to work out eat healthy and stop fucking smoking. She looked flawless in “My Father the Hero” too bad she was 14 then, that’s what you call a peek to soner, if you look like you’re 20 when you are 14 by the time you reach your 20′s you’ll look like a fat middle aged house wife.

  27. NotBlonde

    “Rumble rumble…I walk down to water and play….” She has the worst posture and the ugliest ass I’ve ever seen. Beside that, she smokes (ew) and is a class A bitch. I don’t understand why some people (commenters) still think she’s hot shit.

  28. Fuck the lot of you

    I like big girls. Bring ‘em on!

  29. #26 What is your address, I’ll send you a xanax..

  30. Kate

    #26…..whoa…chill the fuck out. Seriously, you spent far too much time thinking that paragraph through. That or you’ve got a lot of pent up rage about bikini wear these days…..your one of those people that run other drivers off the road for going 5 miles over the speed limit aren’t you? ….sheesh.

  31. tim

    I really don’t see what’s ugly about her. She looks normal. Above average. I wouldn’t use these pics as a desktop wallpaper, but still, I really doubt that guys (like me) who waste their time commenting on “babe-blogs” can afford to be picky enough to consider KH unattractive.

  32. woman to woman

    #31. I am a very calm driver, but yes I have a lot of anger about many things including how badly people dress (my anger is not pent up though I let it out through writing and then move on) it’s just unfathomable to me that people can look in the mirror and think they look good when they look awful, she could look so much better; gawd Britney is rubbing off on a lot of women “how horribly awful can an attractive girl make herself look?” The sky is the limit I see.

  33. woman to woman

    First tell me you wear a FLATTERING bikini that’s my xanax.

    Note to women there is a difference between a flattering bikini and a fatering bikini. See pictures of Kim, Catherine or Jennifer Love Hewiit for fatering bikini’s on out of shape women.

  34. jennybean

    she could use some fine tuning, but i agree that if any of these douchebags saw her in real life they would be blown away and surely haven’t experienced an encounter with someone half as good looking as KH.
    note to Katie- not a flattering suit. and yes dear, quit the smoking. you’re too pretty for that shit.

  35. wrong

    #31. If women today put half as much thought into picking out bikini’s and into healthy eating and working out as #26 put into that rant the beach would not be the horror show it is today.

  36. Well, my bikini is way better than that undersized tube top she’s got going there!!

    I’m not the one that should be judging myself in my own bikini though, but I think it looks ok on me

  37. Sport

    Fuck her, I’d hit that monster wave in pic 6.

  38. Matthew

    WHOA!!!!! Check the excellent Camel Toe! I heart this broad!!!

  39. dude_on

    Where’s the money shot? Memo to guys with cameras who click pictures of women in bikinis – the best angle is when they bend over. This shoot is garbage without the moon pic. I’m sorry… but if Jen can bend over for a rogue pap with a picture machine – then so can a C-lister. Your average National Geographic is more of a turn-on than this crapola.

  40. Joe

    Haha my butler Isabel was her butler at Las Ventanas… hahaha she looks weird…

  41. woman to woman

    That’s good First (sorry for calling you first, twas a typo), you have demonstrated a good understanding of what bikini’s look like shit on women, that was better than a xanax, thank you and enjoy the beach you deserve it.

    Remember ladies you must earn the right to go to the beach in a bikini, unspoiled beaches are a beautiful part of nature and nature doesn’t need badly dressed fat bitches shitting all over it.

    Her husband makes her look even uglier, we know she is a loud mouth bitch she looks very mediocre and just plain bad for a person who is paid partially for their looks and has the money to look their best., so what does she have going for her? Anyway back to the husband the fact that an ugly man can get her makes you realize that she is really not all that.

    Lol at #38.

    If I was a man I would hit her, but her ass being so close to the ocean seems hazardous, we’ve already had one Tsunami.

    I’m here to offend you.

  42. woman to woman

    FUCK I meant Frist. Fucking typos. I think I’ll take that xanax now.

  43. TS

    God I hate this bitch. She has a quite the attitude for someone who’s only achievements are co-star and co-star.

  44. sharpeidude

    She’s not that attractive, but the idea that smoke comes out of her pussy after sex is quite an intriguing feature.

  45. BLJUOIJHEUH!

    #10 – damn you got that right KLDJfnvm,cvnfjhgrb gh hi mom

  46. dude_on_a_wire

    sharpeidude – we go back man I’m tellin’ you. I would recognize your wit anywhere. We should swap wives sometime.

    – That smoke trick is just dry ice and vodka – but I swear it never gets old.

  47. rouge

    She looks beautiful and obviously looks happy, I would love to see what a few of you look like.

  48. naturally

    i think people misunderstood what she meant by not accepting the nomination. i think her body is perfect and natural…

  49. Dobedooobedooooooooo

    The backdrop of picture #6 is really weird, it looks like she and that guy are about to get crushed by liquid hell, and they’re standing there laughing? The water looks calm in all the other pictures, I guess #6 was just photoshopped. Weird.

    P.S. So it’s not the greatest bikini, its her life, she’s enjoying it… get over it. Go enjoy your lives too people, it’s freaking summer.

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