Kate Moss On The Loose

British supermodel Kate Moss, recently caught snorting enough cocaine to fill Rosie O’Donnell’s panties, has left a drug rehabilitation center, her agent said on Thursday. “Kate is in excellent spirits and looking forward to getting back to work. She would like to thank everyone for their messages of support as they have played a major part in helping her,” the spokesperson said.

I give it three weeks. If I know my supermodels (and according to the half-dozen or so draped across my bed in a jenga of crack-glazed longing, I certainly do), ‘rehabilitation’ is just one of those words that have no meaning, like ‘sobriety’ or ‘god’ or ‘non-edible underwear’. Soon she’ll be back to normal. And by ‘back to normal’ I mean ‘back to screwing the pizza boy for blow’.