Kate Moss may have AIDS

December 19th, 2005 // 17 Comments

*kate_moss_thumb5.jpgFor those of us who have slept with Kate Moss, these are scary times. For those of us who have slept with Kate Moss two dozen times in a coke-fueled orgy involving Elmer’s glue, rubber sheets, and seventeen shaved parrots singing “Wicked Game”, times are even scarier. But I digress. Kate Moss’s ex-boyfriend and fellow junkie Pete Doherty has been urged to get an AIDS test by his HIV-infected former drug-dealer.

Dealer Owen O’Dwyer started selling heroin to Doherty three years ago, and says they used to do drugs together. “I’m terrified Pete might have HIV,” O’Dwyer said. “I had no idea I had the disease when we were doing drugs


  1. Alan_Alda_Is_Gangsta

    How dare you disparage a publication as fine as ours. Have you not seen our three page pull-out reviewing non-silicone based anal lubricants?!

    Signed,
    Editor of Bareback Today

  2. Does it strike anyone as odd that the DRUG DEALER sounds like the responsible party out of the three of them?

  3. I’d still bang her, though now she is a double bagger.

  4. :gasp: Oh god please! No! Oh my God!!!!

  5. I love K-fed's Corn Rolls

    Well no shit. Shouldn’t they be getting regular Aids and STD testing done ANYWAY… if your gonna sleep around and share needle glasses, the least you can do is make sure your clean!

    Wish them the best of luck… except Pete, he’s a moron.

  6. HollyJ

    LOL @ Jewbacca!! “double bagger” LOL

    Well, thank god. Hopefully HIV will help her shed those extra pounds she’s carrying – she’s just NOT SKINNY ENOUGH. I mean, her cranium is only a paltry 50% of her body weight.

  7. derekd

    AIDS doesn’t exist for rich people. Ask Majic Johnson. And Kudos to Superficial for a funny article. I especially liked that bit about the parrots singing “Wicked game”.Got a good mental pic on that one. Made me shoot milk outta my nose.

  8. BadassFred

    I looove the way it’s okay to joke about a woman having AIDs but not about Michael Jackson dying.

  9. CD

    It’s too bad if she has AIDS but the video of her snorting coke was some of the highest comedy of the 2005 calendar year.

  10. HollyJ

    I still think it’s unkind to leave her tied to that tree, though.

  11. rexmanningdays

    so does that mean that jude law might have it and sienna miller and daniel craig?

    they all boned. so yeah.

  12. HOMELESS(TM)

    its ok.

    cause she too will have the cure like magic johnson.

  13. Cira

    The description of “seventeen shaved parrots singing Wicked Game” made me laugh out loud. Seriously… envision that.

  14. skippy

    When I was a kid I found Kate Moss hiding out in my basement under an old bookcase, but my dreams were crushed when Mom revealed it was in fact just an emmaciated squirrel decomposing at an abnormally slow rate…

  15. Well, after being with Dirty Docherty all that time, this news does not surprise me! Kate probably has all the diseases going. Perhaps she’s got a penis too and is really a man.

    I hate the bitch!

    Love
    Cori B

  16. Well, after being with Dirty Docherty all that time, this news does not surprise me! Kate probably has all the diseases going. Perhaps she’s got a penis too and is really a man.

    I hate the bitch!

    Love
    Cori B

  17. Well, after being with Dirty Docherty all that time, this news does not surprise me! Kate probably has all the diseases going. Perhaps she’s got a penis too and is really a man.

    I hate the bitch!

    Love
    Cori B

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