Kate Moss is the best hat wearer ever

August 31st, 2006 // 71 Comments

In the most pointless story of the week, Kate Moss has been named Britain’s best hat wearer by a consortium of weirdos aimed at promoting hat wearing. A spokesman for the consortium says:

“Kate manages to wear the most elaborate and extravagant millinery designs with great confidence and aplomb and, most importantly, without the hat seemingly wearing her. She has the face to launch a thousand hat collections and has done much to promote hat wearing in recent years.”

And because I laugh in the face of ridiculous associations for ridiculous causes, here are some shots of Kate Moss leaving Miyama restaurant not wearing a hat, including a closeup of her engagement ring. A ring so laughably small it’s often confused with Paris Hilton’s brain.


  1. llllllllll

    yyessssssssssss first again

  2. piratekuhnbeard

    I don’t understand how the title and article relate.

  3. …and pete doherty just got paid. still, there’s only so much ring he can afford.

  4. llllllllll

    My friend edits several popular magazines and she tells me that Kate Moss has severe aligator skin..face and body…she also said that Jennifer Lopez (remember her guys?)has a very bad case of cellulite and jiggly fat lumps. She said all of those flaws ultra altered in magazines before publishing.

  5. llllllllll

    I don’t understand that HUGE space between Kate’s legs….can someone explain that to me?

  6. Did she get that ring at Walmart? No wonder I’ve never heard Babyshambles, if that’s all Pete can afford after taking care of #1 (his drug habit) they mustn’t sell many albums. I bet her herpes has syphilis.

  7. Don’t fuck with the hat consortium. Trust me.


  8. gas_up_the_hrududu

    What lovely dirty fingernails she has. I’ll be generous and assume that right before the picture was taken she had been working in her garden while jauntily wearing a fetching sunhat.

  9. Ariana

    Is that just a random ass couple making out in the background? I find that way more interesting than anything else in the article.

  10. Tim

    She looks so old and overly tanned… and as for the ring, maybe she should have taken cue from Mrs. Spears/Federline/Shamu and purchased her own ring, since the man she is choosing to marry can’t afford anything decent.

  11. Ariana

    No wait, it’s a little girl being carried. False alarm.

  12. RichPort

    Great! Now she can go for the best food eater… that of course involves her actually putting something edible in her mouth, but she really should go for it.

  13. #6… uhh… that’s what happens when you’re not fat.

    Speaking of which, what’s up with that cellulite looking stuff on her right leg?

  14. jrzmommy

    There she goes wearing them shorty shorts and her knee-high moccassins again.

    I never see her in a hat. What the fuck are these people talking about?

  15. Look at that cellulite on her thighs. Ew.

  16. llllllllll

    #14-I’m not fat but the space between my legs don’t look as though Rosie O’Donald can run through it unnoticed

  17. commissioner

    I know some native americans who would beat her skinny ass if she showed up around here sportin’ those knee high mocs. They’d take her ring to the indian bank when they were done.

  18. Kate does not have cellulite. She’s just wearing flesh-toned cargo pants packed with cocaine.

  19. BriBri

    That looks like Petey behind her in the 2nd pic. Skuzzy, skinny jeans, Chucks….carrying a young girl. Eh.

    Anywhore….about Kate….bla, is she still relevant?

  20. Jacq

    I think the picture about her hand is more about cocaine under her fingernail than the diamond chip sorry excuse for a ring. Pete probably pawned it for H.
    Second, when does she NOT look like shit.
    Third, I predict that her next award will be for promoting mocassins or stupid footwear or something along those lines.
    Someone should have a pro-drug rally in her honor. Seriously.

  21. I_hate_you

    Actually, if you unscrew the top of the ring, that’s where she keeps the coke.

  22. guest1234567

    I thought engagement rings go on the right hand, not the left. The second picture shows a huge ring on her right hand.

  23. jrzmommy

    And her legs are all googlie when she walks again. She needs them crutches that attach to her arms to keep her walking straight or something. She’s like a Jerry’s Kid.

  24. hendero

    I’d hit it

  25. commissioner



    alas, another “partied out whore”. (who wears bad shoes.)

  26. Hat wearing can be exciting, just depends on what head you put it on.

    I know, naughty girl!


  27. Best hat wearer eh? shouldnt it be more like best filthy rotten whore who snorts coke while wearing hats wearer?


  28. combustion8

    Skin’s looking at little leathery but I’d still hit it like it’s friday afteroon.

  29. The Devil's Prom Date

    Does anyone…still wear…a hat?

  30. jane's eyre

    No, you wear the engagement ring on your left ring finger, where it’s later joined by the wedding band.

    You’re thinking of the “right-hand ring”, also known as the “I’m-too-ugly-and/or-fat-to-ever-get-an-engagement-ring-so-to-make-myself-feel-better-I’ll-buy-myself-a-big-gaudy-diamond-ring-and-act-cavalier-about-not-having-to-bother-waiting-for-a-MAN-to-buy-me-one-because-of-the-aforementioned-ugly/fatness-factor” ring.

  31. alaskanchicsickle

    She is suffering a total meltdown, but even so, she’s still too pretty for Pete.

  32. mikeski

    In related news, I was just voted The Universe’s Best Jimmy-Hat Wearer, by a consortium of completely different weirdos.

  33. guest1234567

    Thanks #31

  34. hav-a-tampa

    i’d still do her. she can come live in my basement anytime.

  35. LilRach

    She’s a fucken Supermodel and most of you are taking the piss out of how bad she looks?????? Talk about being jealous!
    To the guys on this site – if you had a chance you would hit that! And to all the chicks who are mocking her you are either butt ugly, fat or just plain jealous!

  36. alaskanchicsickle

    LilRach, yet again you are an obnoxious twerp.

  37. LilRach

    “Twerp”! – ok grandma!

  38. bigponie

    LilRach is right, I would fuck this girl in every Kama Sutra position ever written.

  39. knowhere

    you gotta admit, as far as useless celebs go, kate moss is okay. she looks rather unconventional yet made loads of cash by being a model – more power to her. her choice of mate is crap though. what’s it with hotties and ugly retards lately? and that ring looks like it came from a crackerjack box.

  40. jane's eyre

    What’s “taking the piss out of how bad she looks” mean? Is that like reconstituting sewer water? Hm. Muy interesante.

  41. combustion8

    Indeed I would hit it until the cows came home.

  42. Dory

    Maybe she dosn’t want a great big Tacky ring just to say look at me I’m rich. Your suppose to Like what your wedding ring looks like not just wear it cause its expensive and she is only little, a little ring to go with a little person.

  43. bigponie


    I beleive it’s when a group of people piss on an individual in an attempt to wash away the ugliness! of course I could be wrong.

  44. combustion8

    I would rail her until my teeth fell out… or her’s which ever came first… shes british so her’s may fall out soon after the railing started.

  45. jane's eyre

    My goodness, you certainly have a distinguished vocabulary. I can never keep up with the latest expressions.

  46. Armed

    I honestly can’t tell if there’s a diamond in that ring or if it’s a speck of dust on the camera lens…maybe it’s a teeny tiny crack rock. How romantic.

  47. mrs.t

    When she’s good and photoshopped, she’s stunning. In this and other untouched photos, however, she is straight-up Appalachian-on-the-porchswing (a la Deliverance). The silly moccoboots support this opinion.

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