In the most pointless story of the week, Kate Moss has been named Britain’s best hat wearer by a consortium of weirdos aimed at promoting hat wearing. A spokesman for the consortium says:
“Kate manages to wear the most elaborate and extravagant millinery designs with great confidence and aplomb and, most importantly, without the hat seemingly wearing her. She has the face to launch a thousand hat collections and has done much to promote hat wearing in recent years.”
And because I laugh in the face of ridiculous associations for ridiculous causes, here are some shots of Kate Moss leaving Miyama restaurant not wearing a hat, including a closeup of her engagement ring. A ring so laughably small it’s often confused with Paris Hilton’s brain.
llllllllll | August 31, 2006 at 12:15 pm
yyessssssssssss first again
Jake | August 31, 2006 at 12:17 pm
she looks like shit.
http://wampoon.com/
piratekuhnbeard | August 31, 2006 at 12:18 pm
I don’t understand how the title and article relate.
Jake | August 31, 2006 at 12:19 pm
…and pete doherty just got paid. still, there’s only so much ring he can afford.
llllllllll | August 31, 2006 at 12:21 pm
My friend edits several popular magazines and she tells me that Kate Moss has severe aligator skin..face and body…she also said that Jennifer Lopez (remember her guys?)has a very bad case of cellulite and jiggly fat lumps. She said all of those flaws ultra altered in magazines before publishing.
llllllllll | August 31, 2006 at 12:24 pm
I don’t understand that HUGE space between Kate’s legs….can someone explain that to me?
UNWASHEDMASSES | August 31, 2006 at 12:28 pm
Did she get that ring at Walmart? No wonder I’ve never heard Babyshambles, if that’s all Pete can afford after taking care of #1 (his drug habit) they mustn’t sell many albums. I bet her herpes has syphilis.
CelebSlam.com | August 31, 2006 at 12:31 pm
Don’t fuck with the hat consortium. Trust me.
http://www.celebslam.com
gas_up_the_hrududu | August 31, 2006 at 12:33 pm
What lovely dirty fingernails she has. I’ll be generous and assume that right before the picture was taken she had been working in her garden while jauntily wearing a fetching sunhat.
Ariana | August 31, 2006 at 12:36 pm
Is that just a random ass couple making out in the background? I find that way more interesting than anything else in the article.
Tim | August 31, 2006 at 12:37 pm
She looks so old and overly tanned… and as for the ring, maybe she should have taken cue from Mrs. Spears/Federline/Shamu and purchased her own ring, since the man she is choosing to marry can’t afford anything decent.
Ariana | August 31, 2006 at 12:37 pm
No wait, it’s a little girl being carried. False alarm.
RichPort | August 31, 2006 at 12:38 pm
Great! Now she can go for the best food eater… that of course involves her actually putting something edible in her mouth, but she really should go for it.
tito | August 31, 2006 at 12:39 pm
#6… uhh… that’s what happens when you’re not fat.
Speaking of which, what’s up with that cellulite looking stuff on her right leg?
jrzmommy | August 31, 2006 at 12:39 pm
There she goes wearing them shorty shorts and her knee-high moccassins again.
I never see her in a hat. What the fuck are these people talking about?
Trashley | August 31, 2006 at 12:40 pm
Look at that cellulite on her thighs. Ew.
llllllllll | August 31, 2006 at 12:59 pm
#14-I’m not fat but the space between my legs don’t look as though Rosie O’Donald can run through it unnoticed
commissioner | August 31, 2006 at 1:04 pm
I know some native americans who would beat her skinny ass if she showed up around here sportin’ those knee high mocs. They’d take her ring to the indian bank when they were done.
FrinkTank | August 31, 2006 at 1:07 pm
Kate does not have cellulite. She’s just wearing flesh-toned cargo pants packed with cocaine.
BriBri | August 31, 2006 at 1:14 pm
That looks like Petey behind her in the 2nd pic. Skuzzy, skinny jeans, Chucks….carrying a young girl. Eh.
Anywhore….about Kate….bla, is she still relevant?
Jacq | August 31, 2006 at 1:16 pm
I think the picture about her hand is more about cocaine under her fingernail than the diamond chip sorry excuse for a ring. Pete probably pawned it for H.
Second, when does she NOT look like shit.
Third, I predict that her next award will be for promoting mocassins or stupid footwear or something along those lines.
Someone should have a pro-drug rally in her honor. Seriously.
I_hate_you | August 31, 2006 at 1:22 pm
Actually, if you unscrew the top of the ring, that’s where she keeps the coke.
guest1234567 | August 31, 2006 at 1:24 pm
I thought engagement rings go on the right hand, not the left. The second picture shows a huge ring on her right hand.
jrzmommy | August 31, 2006 at 1:24 pm
And her legs are all googlie when she walks again. She needs them crutches that attach to her arms to keep her walking straight or something. She’s like a Jerry’s Kid.
hendero | August 31, 2006 at 1:45 pm
I’d hit it
commissioner | August 31, 2006 at 1:57 pm
*googlie*
giggles.
alas, another “partied out whore”. (who wears bad shoes.)
HolisticWisdomcom | August 31, 2006 at 2:00 pm
Hat wearing can be exciting, just depends on what head you put it on.
I know, naughty girl!
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
StomachPunch | August 31, 2006 at 2:01 pm
Best hat wearer eh? shouldnt it be more like best filthy rotten whore who snorts coke while wearing hats wearer?
http://www.dirtyrottenwhore.com
combustion8 | August 31, 2006 at 2:07 pm
Skin’s looking at little leathery but I’d still hit it like it’s friday afteroon.
The Devil's Prom Date | August 31, 2006 at 2:08 pm
Does anyone…still wear…a hat?
jane's eyre | August 31, 2006 at 2:24 pm
@23
No, you wear the engagement ring on your left ring finger, where it’s later joined by the wedding band.
You’re thinking of the “right-hand ring”, also known as the “I’m-too-ugly-and/or-fat-to-ever-get-an-engagement-ring-so-to-make-myself-feel-better-I’ll-buy-myself-a-big-gaudy-diamond-ring-and-act-cavalier-about-not-having-to-bother-waiting-for-a-MAN-to-buy-me-one-because-of-the-aforementioned-ugly/fatness-factor” ring.
jane's eyre | August 31, 2006 at 2:35 pm
This is Kate’s signature hat:
http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e56/sohall/kate_moss_miayama_00.jpg
alaskanchicsickle | August 31, 2006 at 2:46 pm
She is suffering a total meltdown, but even so, she’s still too pretty for Pete.
mikeski | August 31, 2006 at 2:56 pm
In related news, I was just voted The Universe’s Best Jimmy-Hat Wearer, by a consortium of completely different weirdos.
guest1234567 | August 31, 2006 at 3:15 pm
Thanks #31
hav-a-tampa | August 31, 2006 at 3:26 pm
i’d still do her. she can come live in my basement anytime.
LilRach | August 31, 2006 at 3:34 pm
She’s a fucken Supermodel and most of you are taking the piss out of how bad she looks?????? Talk about being jealous!
To the guys on this site – if you had a chance you would hit that! And to all the chicks who are mocking her you are either butt ugly, fat or just plain jealous!
alaskanchicsickle | August 31, 2006 at 3:36 pm
LilRach, yet again you are an obnoxious twerp.
LilRach | August 31, 2006 at 3:41 pm
“Twerp”! – ok grandma!
bigponie | August 31, 2006 at 3:46 pm
LilRach is right, I would fuck this girl in every Kama Sutra position ever written.
knowhere | August 31, 2006 at 3:50 pm
you gotta admit, as far as useless celebs go, kate moss is okay. she looks rather unconventional yet made loads of cash by being a model – more power to her. her choice of mate is crap though. what’s it with hotties and ugly retards lately? and that ring looks like it came from a crackerjack box.
jane's eyre | August 31, 2006 at 3:52 pm
What’s “taking the piss out of how bad she looks” mean? Is that like reconstituting sewer water? Hm. Muy interesante.
combustion8 | August 31, 2006 at 3:55 pm
Indeed I would hit it until the cows came home.
Dory | August 31, 2006 at 4:02 pm
Maybe she dosn’t want a great big Tacky ring just to say look at me I’m rich. Your suppose to Like what your wedding ring looks like not just wear it cause its expensive and she is only little, a little ring to go with a little person.
bigponie | August 31, 2006 at 4:02 pm
#42
I beleive it’s when a group of people piss on an individual in an attempt to wash away the ugliness! of course I could be wrong.
LilRach | August 31, 2006 at 4:09 pm
Here you go…..
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=taking+the+piss
combustion8 | August 31, 2006 at 4:14 pm
I would rail her until my teeth fell out… or her’s which ever came first… shes british so her’s may fall out soon after the railing started.
jane's eyre | August 31, 2006 at 4:15 pm
My goodness, you certainly have a distinguished vocabulary. I can never keep up with the latest expressions.
Armed | August 31, 2006 at 5:09 pm
I honestly can’t tell if there’s a diamond in that ring or if it’s a speck of dust on the camera lens…maybe it’s a teeny tiny crack rock. How romantic.
mrs.t | August 31, 2006 at 5:40 pm
When she’s good and photoshopped, she’s stunning. In this and other untouched photos, however, she is straight-up Appalachian-on-the-porchswing (a la Deliverance). The silly moccoboots support this opinion.