Kate Moss is pregnant

October 23rd, 2006 // 71 Comments

Kate Moss is reportedly pregnant with Pete Doherty’s bastard child. A gardener tells the Sunday Mirror:

“I have spoken to Pete twice about the baby and he has confirmed that Kate is pregnant. They are both delighted and Pete sounded really excited.”

It doesn’t make much sense why a gardener is holding the secrets to Pete Doherty’s private life, but if this is true it means Kate Moss might finally come to her senses. She’s notorious for making poor decisions, but when her baby comes out and is a burrowing mammal she might finally realize what a mess she’s made of her life. Although I didn’t even think Pete Doherty was capable of reproducing. The toxic waste that mutated his face should’ve made him sterile for sure.

EDIT: I don’t read very carefully. Turns out the gardener is Pete Doherty’s uncle. Way to support your family there, Pete.


  1. Just what we need. Another junkie!


  2. Jacquelantern

    Oh good Lord!!

  3. commissioner

    With that gene pool, it’ll probably come out a rabbit.

  4. lazydays8401

    I read that it was Doperty’s uncle who broke the news, not the gardener, unless his uncle IS a gardener.

  5. pixel killya

    “With that gene pool, it’ll probably come out a rabbit.”

    I was thinking a syringe, but to each his own.

  6. BarbadoSlim

    The kid will come to this world having already experienced most hard drugs, so it’ll be fine on that front, I don’t know how it’s going to survive having Peteys fetid breath on its face when he tries to play with it though.

  7. InstantAsshat-AddFame

    She’s STILL wearing those mocassins. Still. I suppose it’s hard to buy new clothes when you spend all your money on drugs. Maybe it’ll be like Courtney Love’s baby–finding out later that it’s mother did heroin while she was pregnant. Nice to know that you meant so much to your mom that she couldn’t quit getting high–she had to make you high too!

  8. PrettyBaby

    I am just shocked that his swimmers and her egg actually still function. Well, this will for sure sober them out, right… right??…

  9. PrettyBaby

    Since I am new on here I have one damn question- Why the obsession with posting first? It is so darn annoying to hear that First shit- and annoyance is bad for the complexion.

  10. Who knew the Goonies sloth could get a girl pregnant? This is just a hunch but I bet they name the Baby Ruth……….

  11. Kate sure parties a lot for somebody who is the single parent of a young daughter.

  12. RichPort

    The child will be born entirely 100% pure Medillin’s finest nose candy. They will rinse the child off, smack it on the ass (which will produce a baby powder like puff), then proceed to chop it up and snort it, right there in the hospital.

  13. yuckyfresh

    today’s posts just keep getting more and more confusing….

  14. suzy

    i still have no idea who the hell pete doherty is

  15. slantingthroughdarkness

    It can’t be Doherty’s kid. Anybody who does that much smack can’t possibly get it up anymore.


  16. BigJim

    Is it warped to start a celebrity baby dead pool?

  17. Madrid Marriott

    It is so wrong of them to have their own crack baby when there already are so many Malawian crack babies out there in need of rescue.

    Having biological crack babies is so March 2006.

  18. BigJim

    I must apologize for my post @17. I just kept thinking of that scene in Trainspotting.

    However, if there are any takers on the pool, I’ve got third trimester.

  19. Is that why she’s reportedly engaged to him?

  20. @ 10 PrettyBaby – Try being first sometime, see how easy it isn’t.

    You’re lucky Angry Ferret isn’t here yet to answer your blatantly-idiotic question.
    You wouldn’t be sittng right now due to the ass-chewing he would have given you.

    The hyphens are to keep the Ferret happy.


  21. Is that why she’s reportedly engaged to him?

  22. Tracy

    I feel sorry for their poor ugly retarded baby.

  23. NipsyHustle

    considering that pete doherty already HAS A CHILD that he has chosen drugs over, this isn’t exactly good news. something tells me that it’ll be sold on ebay for a truck load of smack.

  24. Madrid Marriott

    Oh Brain, you opened your mouth just long enough to let Ferret’s jizz trickle out, and that’s not very nice. (Better clean that up). PrettyBaby is entirely right.

    25th!!! (or so)

  25. DrBob2607

    That bone rack isn’t actually preggers. If you look closely at the photos (especially #3)you can clearly see the “lump” is actually an undigested Chciken McNugget she swallowed whole in a feeding frenzy at Mickey D’s… She ate the McNugget and a single fry – damn near killed the scrawny skank…

  26. BarbadoSlim

    These two are the purest most basic form of white trash.


  27. When the baby comes out half black, Pete can smack his sweaty forehead and blame all the black tar heroin he’s done.

  28. polypam

    This is going to be the most beautiful crack baby ever born.

  29. Eye-Dish Lass

    She can’t party when she’s pregnant. That’ll break them up fo sho!

  30. Ms. Sass

    #29- so so so true.

  31. frenchtoaststix

    No doubt these two fuckwad druggies will give birth to a wire-haired terrier. I hope spontaneous abortion happens before these two fuck up any more lives.

    Hey, Brain Embolism, whatever happened to Angry Ferret Jones? He mentioned Edna, and then disappeared off the boards…

  32. PrettyBaby

    #21, Whatever Darling, I still think its silly

  33. Smashing, another child born into a dysfunctional relationship. Makes be a therapist a well needed career.


  34. kommie kazzie

    Slimey Limey.

    I think his American equivalent might be located somewhere in the Appalachian mountains. Fuggity fug fug.

  35. You mean they had unprotected sex ??

  36. 33. PrettyBaby – Silly yes, but hard to do.

  37. oslo

    Why would a second kid change her when the first one didn’t? Have you ever seen a picture of her with her daughter?

  38. ponk

    probably already arranging a sale to madonna.

  39. @32 frenchtoaststix – He can’t logon because they have Websense on his computers where he works.

    It’s bullshit I know.

  40. BibiLush

    all 40 of you are fat fucking haters and i hope your worthless children come out with twice the substance and self esteem you posess so their insecurities aren’t reduced to a celebrity internet thread like you!


  41. InstantAsshat-AddFame

    BibiLush–You are so right! Thanks to your inspiration, I’m going to go to Africa and dedicate my life to finding homes with rich, famous ass sluts for all of Malawi’s non-orphaned kids.

    Tell Sarah-Jean I said hi. :-)

  42. beifiori

    I can just see the baby shower gifts now, rolled up dollar bills, bags of “powdered sugar”, brownies, brown sugar and syringes…but seriously, let’s all hope the kid isn’t born with two heads and 12 hands.

  43. c

    I really hope this isn’t true. But I would love to see Kate attempt the skinny jeans while 8 months pregnant!


  44. beifiori

    nah, #39, madonna only wants black babies with baby daddies, oh, and they must originate from the backwoods of some nondescript african country so no one can challenge her royal arseness

  45. Flip21

    The only excitement regarding this news is trying to predict whether she’ll miscarry or give birth to a stillborn.

  46. blanket jefferson

    these picture show me that black is back,and crack is not as whack as some would like us to believe.

    this child is going to inherit the most fucked up teeth known to 21st century man.

    and yet,i think that will be the least of its problems,since it will probably be an orphan or a ward of the state.

    bigjim,that is sick and wrong,sick because well it is,and wrong because,dude,she carried a child to term before, so sad to say,this one might survive too.

    wait-yeah that is what i mean.i think it mite be kinder in the long term,that it,well you know.

    i feel dirty and suicidal.

    but thats because im fat and ugly.

  47. Lindsay

    Kate Moss is fertile?

  48. My guess would be that #41 BibiLush is not coming back to the Fish.

    I say good-riddance to bad-rubbish.

  49. skeptical

    I’m not really concerned with her pregnancy, I’m quite happy to see that my black moccasin boots are still in style.

  50. First of all, let me preface this comment by saying both of these pieces of shit are fucking retarded douchebags.

    Oh..I guess that was the subject of my message too. Preface and message complete. Kiss my mutha fuckin’ ass.

    And in the words of Tupac, I dedicate this, to you punk mutha fuckas.

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