Kate Moss helps Colin Farrell stay sober

Superficial / February 7, 2006

*kate_moss_thumb3.jpgKate Moss has been helping Colin Farrell stay clean. And not, as you might have guessed, by keeping him too busy with sex. Well, maybe not. Farrell was in Miami on a two day break from rehab for a reported addiction to painkillers, where he met up with Moss.

An onlooker told Britain’s Daily Star newspaper: “Kate and Colin started chatting around the pool at the Raleigh Hotel and she asked him how he was coping. He said he was getting there. It’s early days for him but Kate’s shown him the way and that’s got to be a help.”

Having Kate Moss teach you about sobriety is like having Janet Jackson teach you about dieting (“See, what you do is, you put the bacon inside the milkshake. Good, now stir it with a hot dog”). If I was Colin I’d listen to her, but then I’d drop subtle little hints that I might have drugs, just to see what she’d do. Like I’d lean back in my chair, stretch and say “yes, it is a nice day, Kate. A nice day for crack.” After a few minutes of this, it’s simply a matter of sprinkling some sugar on the nearest dog and busting out the camcorder.

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