Kate Moss helps Colin Farrell stay sober

February 7th, 2006 // 23 Comments

*kate_moss_thumb3.jpgKate Moss has been helping Colin Farrell stay clean. And not, as you might have guessed, by keeping him too busy with sex. Well, maybe not. Farrell was in Miami on a two day break from rehab for a reported addiction to painkillers, where he met up with Moss.

An onlooker told Britain’s Daily Star newspaper: “Kate and Colin started chatting around the pool at the Raleigh Hotel and she asked him how he was coping. He said he was getting there. It’s early days for him but Kate’s shown him the way and that’s got to be a help.”

Having Kate Moss teach you about sobriety is like having Janet Jackson teach you about dieting (“See, what you do is, you put the bacon inside the milkshake. Good, now stir it with a hot dog”). If I was Colin I’d listen to her, but then I’d drop subtle little hints that I might have drugs, just to see what she’d do. Like I’d lean back in my chair, stretch and say “yes, it is a nice day, Kate. A nice day for crack.” After a few minutes of this, it’s simply a matter of sprinkling some sugar on the nearest dog and busting out the camcorder.



  1. LaydeeBug

    Holy Crap! That is THE funniest thing I have ever heard. Two dead batteries can’t start a car. These two need to be as far apart from each other as possible. Oh well, there goes their five or six clean days. Kate, Colin, there are groups for you, it’s called a fellowship and it has 12 steps. Try to find it.

  2. ESQ

    Not if you was THE last immigrant grocer on earth, honey!

  3. Jayne

    I hope she gets pregnant a few months later.
    I wanna see what a Katolin baby would look like.

  4. HollyJ

    Jude Law opens a “Big Dick” club.

  5. Pretty damn funny…

  6. Realistic

    They accidentally wrote “coping” rather than “copping”, because that’s what she was really there to do.

  7. BrianMolko

    Next to be reported on The Superficial: Lindsey Lohan sneezes.

  8. PapaHotNuts

    C’mon Superficial posters, follow me on this.

    Next: O.J Simpson gives marital advice.

    Next: Paris Hilton joins a book club.

    Everyone join in!!

    HollyJ- you are my hero.

  9. CoJo

    I can’t wait to see the sex tape – that should be interesting…picture it: Colin passed out on vicodin while Kate and Lindsay Lohan make out and do coke off of him.


  10. ESQ

    In response to PapaHotNuts #8

    Lindsey Lohan: Giving writing tips for bathroom walls

    Paris Hilton: On NOT using double-sided tape for her wardrobe

    Britney Spears: 101 excuses on not using a car seat

    K-Fed: How to milk your celb wife of all her money while making shitting cds.

  11. Debutantejaim

    The blind leading the blind . . .

  12. Wild Rose


    David Hasselhoff providing “how to make a *smokin’ hot* video” tips!

  13. Whatup

    I don’t think I would ever ask “A nice day for crack” to Kate Moss, I would probably wind up with her sloppy Pu##@ on my face!

  14. re: comment about Janet Jackson hiding bacon in a milkshake:

    Bwa ha ha!

  15. blackblackheart

    Tips from Sharon Stone on vaginal rejuvination clinics.

  16. MortyFishbein

    Realistic (6) That was FUNNY as shit!!!!! That’s the only reason i9 signed in.

  17. HughJorganthethird

    The only thing that could have made this little tableau even better is if a drunken Keifer Sutherland came barging in and started kicking the shit out of both of them like so many christmas trees.

  18. HughJorganthethird

    How about The Star Jones Weight Loss Clinic?

  19. blackblackheart

    HAHAHAH XD #18..

  20. AmberDextrose

    What a tumbleweed moment that must’ve been.

  21. LaydeeBug

    I’m STILL laughing……

  22. a ha ha haha haahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahah

  23. Tabatha Coley

    If you want the truth about Colin Farrell and his love life, all you need to do is , try interviewing a certain assistant currently working on the film Colin and Lily are starring in up in Vancouver, Canada.
    This assistant whom has gone on record, but is asking to remain confidentail until the conclusion of the film states that Colin is seriously dating a woman pilot.
    The woman is somewhat of a free bird at heart, and won’t commit to Farrell. But the deeper truth is that the woman is a Roman Catholic, separated from her husband, and her separated husband has raised an issue inside their parrish with his church, and their parrish is deeply frowning on her almost one year relationship with Colin.
    Will true love win out or is this another large scandal about to be taken across our television screens as the Roman Catholic church makes more decisions ?


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