Kate Hudson’s dress is a penis tractor beam and other news

- James Franco on SNL: Best of the season? [Lainey Gossip]

- Rihanna almost brought some holiday cheer. So close. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]

- LeAnn Rimes husband files for divorce. [PopEater]

- Alyssa Milano gets Jersey Shore-ified. (Face punching not included.) [Just Jared]

- George Clooney might have banged the Cryptkeeper which means she’s harnessed the power of the unicorn’s heart. NOOOO! [Celebslam]

- Michael Jackson’s FBI files are set to be released. Ten bucks says he traveled back in time and stole the Lindbergh baby. [PopSugar]

- Chris Brown is apparently the perfect gentlemen. For strippers. [The Blemish]

- Jessica Simpson lighting a candle in her ear while using a Papa John’s pizza box to guard her face. Not an exaggeration. [ICYDK]

- Pete Doherty arrested for bringing drugs inside a court room moments after having charges for “dangerous driving” dismissed. If you’re going to have a drug problem, at least make it hysterical. Amirite? [Socialite Life]

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