Kate Hudson’s belly: So there’s this thing called a condom….

March 3rd, 2008 // 55 Comments

It seems I’m staring at a lot of celebrity pouches these days to determine if a baby is, medically speaking, up in that ass. In Kate Hudson’s case it’s looking pretty conclusive that she is, indeed, with child. These pictures were taken last night in Miami and, I dunno, it’s kind of hard to refute the babyness. However, on Saturday, she’s not looking so knocked up while riding a bike in a bikini with a conveniently placed t-shirt. Who knows? Which is coincidentally the answer Kate will give when asked who the father is. That being said, she was dating Heath Ledger so maybe he’s living on in some way. You know, as a bastard child who will inevitably see Owen Wilson’s penis. Ah, the circle of life. Quick, somebody fetch me a lion cub to hold in the air. I promise not to throw it at the UPS guy this time.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily, Splash News

  1. FRIST!!!

    FIRST you smegma chugging semen sluts

  2. aklsdliegh

    She is cute.. I have seen her photo on a celebrity and millionaire dating site named ” Searching Millionaire dot com”.. Many men winked at her there.

  3. tina

    My sister told me she met her new bf through BillionaireFriends.co m. Is that true? I think everyone would like to see what their profiles look like.

  4. Sex Nuts & Retard Strong

    Um, I’m confused. How could Heath Ledger have knocked up a dude? I mean, I’ve seen ironing boards with bigger hooters (or when they’re that small are they called hooties?) than hers. I mean his.

  5. ihumpedtinassister

    #2 and 3…yeah, your sister is cute, especially after I did the ol’ dirty sanchez on her. your mom wasn’t so lucky…sorry about her eye infection…I was aiming for her mouth. I did see your profile camelcocksuckingspammers.com…many men winked at you. others simply bent you over and rammed it home.

  6. junior

    She’s lookin more and more like her mom everyday….I would be concerned if I were her

  7. Auntie Kryst

    Sock it to me. She looks just like her mother (at a younger age) in that first pic.

  8. stickit

    #5- I couldn’t have said it better myself! Unless you’re here to insult celebutards, GET OFF OUR SITE!

    That is all. Commence with the snark.

  9. sherry

    wow who’s the daddy this could really interesting

  10. Feel_the_velvet

    That kid is going to be one hungry little boy or girl….at least for the first several months.

  11. It’s called SWALLOWING Kate… and it’s done with the mouth not, I repeat, NOT the vagina.

  12. D. Richards (Saint.)

    So Kate flies three-thousand miles to ride a fucking bike. Great fun.

    Speaking of bicycles: women — please, for the sake of not looking totally retarded, never, ever, under any circumstances, ride a bicycle, ever — totally.

    ‘OMG’, a maniacal villain has kidnapped your pug (Dancy) and is threatening to kill her if you don’t meet his every demand! He’s placing calls to different phone booths in an allotted amount of time and you have to be at each booth so that he can make sure you’re not being followed! You can take a cab, but are broke — you’ve been waiting for that check from the local overnight fertility clinic for testing diaphrams and selling your eggs; wait for the bus, but the Mexican’s are looking particularly filthy; or take a seventy-five pound bike!


  13. Grunion

    Wow. how thrilling. unless K fed did it, I could care less.

  14. Lisa

    #4-how big is YOUR cock-asshole???

  15. Lisa

    #4-how big is YOUR cock-asshole???

  16. Lisa

    #4-how big is YOUR cock-asshole???

  17. Apparently Lisa is waiting with her measuring tape… man up #5…



  19. gossipmonger

    Lisa, # 4 is too insecure to answer you, I guess… When your dick is smaller than your baby finger, that happens…But then again, it (#4) DOES sound like a 12 year old boy so what can we expect…
    If you’d have asked Richport, on the other hand, I suspect we’d be linked with photos of his 9-1/2″ ‘rod of pleasure’…lol

  20. lucifer's left nut

    i hope it is heath’s baby so that michelle can go “cling to all that is left of him” in a baby he had with some other whore. it will kill michelle to know she’s not the only chick heath forgot to pull out of.

  21. amma

    She looks like her mom until you see her fugly face–and then the story gets sad. Yup, she looks pretty freaking pregnant. Hahahahah…she probably doesn’t even know who the father is. Anyhoo, I can’t believe that this site can’t control spammers–every other freaking site does, get on it!

  22. D. Richards (Slob.)

    No, Lisa said ‘cock-asshole’.

    She’s trying to gauge the distance between that guy’s dick, and asshole, or for the layman: ‘Taint.’

    Lisa’s a painter.

  23. nana

    i can’t get the pics to load! the dress ones look photoshopped in the thumbnails though. ???

  24. nana

    oh, and even if she had larger breasts, she’d still look like a twelve-year-old boy on that bike.

  25. Stacie

    She looks like her mom in this photo. They are both cutie pies. And I like the fact that none of them got implants too. Although I have a nice rack; not all men are into breasts and implants. Some men actually focus on the legs. And they both have nice legs

  26. Paige

    i love your writing, it’s just terribly amusing and brilliant!

  27. Bmurphy72

    Enough with the BILLION, GAZILLIONAIRE dating shit. You wont date them, you wont become their new BFF or even their fluffer (maybe Nicholas Cage’s).
    This shit is funny, LOVE the Superficial (not trying to kiss ass). But give it a break.

  28. Hey, #1, please have some respect and do not troll me until after I’ve had a cup of coffee.


  29. Ted Mosby

    Damn, so that was Kate Hudson I was doing 2 months ago??

  30. agree

    Kate is so beautiful. I love her. It is said she is dating a young billionaire on “W e a l t h yR o m a n c e . c o m” now. Her profile was found on that site last week.

  31. toolboy

    I don’t really have an opinion of Kate yet, so I recounted this story to the guy who begs for spare change at the corner gas station. “Muzz” (not Muzz Scillings from Living Colour, I asked) as he likes to be called, reads the tabloids regularly so he is relatively aware of who Heath and Kate are (er, were). He was very surprised to learn that Kate may be preggers with Heath’s baby. And I quote:
    “Daaaaaamn. That pastie little white boy was all up in them guts? That’s fucked up.”
    Yes, Muzz, he may have indeed been all up in them guts….

  32. @32 would that be Irish coffee??

  33. OutRunner1

    Should have done her in the butt. No chance of pregnancy there. Unless she farts while in the doggy position…

  34. kitty_kat

    Probably a long shot, but I really hope that its Owen Wilson’s baby and not Heath’s.

  35. kitty_kat

    And haven’t any of these Hollywood idiots ever heard of condoms or birth control?

  36. Owen Wilson

    Just looks to me as if her belly has been filled with an early morning cup of jiz. I know she loves that stuff. Right from the Butterscotch Stallion tap.

  37. Ang

    How did Owen licking her asshole get her pregnant?

  38. kirsten dunst

    look at her on her bike..so fucking cute.

  39. Ted from LA

    She should be wearing a helmet on that bike. Or else she’ll go from looking so fucking cute to so fucking brain injured… like Mike the goat fucker.

  40. Sex Nuts & Retard Strong

    Lisa, it’s almost as big as your mangina. Based on your reaction, I’m guessing your tits are pretty much nonexistant. Angry, ugly and flat is no way to go through life, manginalisa.

  41. Stephanie

    She probably just ate lunch. Or exhaled.

  42. Neybirt

    I hate the fashion right now. It makes women wear these unflattering baggy shirts. Im not gonna buy one tho cause i dont want no one to think im pregnant

  43. Lindsay

    Look at her sleeve, wind is blowing up her skirt


  45. Juaqin Ingles

    I’m surprised no one’s said “she’s not pregnant, this is how a real woman is supposed to look” or some such nonsense.

  46. Cthulha

    Isn’t that Goldie Hawn???

  47. yerrrr

    no one sees that camel toe in the back ground?

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