Kate Hudson hit the beach in Hawaii with new boyfriend Adam Scott yesterday. (The Australian golfer, not the actor.) Look, I’m not a religious man, but it’s gotta be more than a coincidence that Kate Hudson’s ass appears the same day I talk about Patrick Swayze’s battle with cancer. Folks, I think we’ve found the cure.
UPDATE: My contacts at Johns Hopkins just informed me Kate’s ass is not the cure for cancer but is, scientifically speaking, “tight like prom night.” So I’m assuming that means it can only cure polio which I’m suddenly stricken with. *cough cough* You can almost hear the polio; That’s how bad I have it. Little help?