Kate Gosselin isn’t ready to date

October 28th, 2009 // 51 Comments

Unlike her ex-husband Jon “I Never Met a Vagina I Didn’t Like Including Lopsided Ones” Gosselin, Kate is swearing off dating according to her recent appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Via Celebuzz:

“I’m not thinking about [dating] but the thought has crossed my mind at some point [that] it’s going to be scrutinized. Let’s not talk about it.”
Kate did, elaborate, however, that she wouldn’t want to subject any new suitors to the glare of the spotlight and “the 18 cars [of paparazzi] that follow me around.”

Listen to Miss Hollywood here complete with Starbucks grip: “Oh, I don’t want to frighten the poor man with my glamorous lifestyle.” Notice how her answer isn’t: “I’m not sure how my kids would respond to it.” I mean, it’s not like she wouldn’t be concerned about that because if they’re all out of whack and not filming, who’s going to foot the Lexus lease? And cue the panic attack.

Photos: Getty, Pacific Coast News
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  1. Randal(l)

    Damn, and I so wanted a piece of that.

    Randal(l)

  2. Kelley

    And why would we care abut this ? And Fish, either learn the English language a little more or hire a real editor … comma placement out of whack and amateurish.

  3. Really?

    She doesn’t need to date cause she already has something on the side. Controlling women like this just don’t go cold turkey. She’s pulling the strings on a *secret* man for sure.

  4. Dr. Fill

    Him: “A glass of wine?”
    Her: “Please. That would be lovely.”
    (He orders)
    Him: “I have something to tell you. I have a child from a previous marriage.”
    Her: “That’s interesting. I have eight. Eight Children.”

    The only question is: how long are the rubber patches in the parking lot when he flies out of there?

    If this were Megan Fox it wouldn’t make any difference. There’s no way a woman with 8 kids is going to “date” anyone who can stand erect and not use a drool bucket.

    Madonna has fewer skeletons and issues.

  5. timbo

    She isn’t going to have to worry about exposing a guy to her lifestyle…because that lifestyle involves 8 kids!

    Its all fun and games when you’re poking Kate until you look over, see 8 puzzled faces and asking they’re why you’re hurting mommy.

  6. Shep

    #2, Give it a rest. So sorry that Fish insulted your intelligence by making a grammatical error in his post. It’s a fucking celeb gossip site. If you want to have your intelligence challenged, why don’t you start surfing http://www.nasa.gov/ Einstein.

    Oh and Kate Gosselin is a selfish bitch who would sell off her kids on the black market it it meant keeping her spoiled ass living the high life for an extra few months. Hate that bitch. Pretty bad when even octomom knows shoving camera’s down your kids throats for financial gain isn’t healthy

  7. JackSpratling

    She says that now. Next week Kate I Hate be the one dating Octomom in a reality TV show. That will show her pudgy, Ed Hardy-wearing loser of an ex-husband.

    Two weeks from now, Rosy O’Donnell will be on the Stern show saying how she could have dated Kate Gosselin.

  8. Drew

    @2 get a life. The grammar used in your post is astronomically worse than the 1 misplaced comma at the very end of the article. This is a blog, not a newspaper or an exam. I’d much rather read an article about these pathetic losers, than yet another

  9. Drew

    “random stereotypically hot model in a bathing suit”

    (Sorry post got cut off because I tried using the wrong brackets)

  10. havoc

    There’s a difference between dating and fucking anyone who will have you.

    Don’t think she’s gone all this time without getting laid.

    .

  11. Nice try

    Who in the Fuck would want this woman with so many children. Can you imagine the screaming and noise at that house. Good luck.

  12. Jethro

    Think I’ll try and recover from reading this by reading Rosie’s post on Angelina Jolie.

  13. bb

    This fucking whore hasn’t gone one god damn week without sucking a dick, getting force fucked (in her remodeled cunt), or ass fucked.
    If anyone thinks otherwise, they are surely fooling themselves!
    I’m just saying…

  14. Bullshit

    Good point. She’s worried about how a man would feel about 18 cars following her around, but doesn’t care how it affects the kids.

  15. Ew… who would date here? She’s gross.

  16. sam

    My impression had been that Kate is a real bitch, but compared to Jon she is looking really good. Compared to Octomom she looks great too. Not that that is really saying much, however.

    I really wish she would lose that damn haircut.

  17. EK

    If she’s so worried about the damn paps she should get the hell of my TV.

  18. Parker

    Still, you got to admit she’d look awfully nice with your weiner in her mouth. Heck I’d think she’d look perfect with mine in her butt. In the end it’s all about is she a three input girl. If she is then you tolerate her but if she’s like Kate and she’s sworn off the vag then you go home with her any time she offers to make you a sandwich and you have anal sex then leave. The thing with Kate is, while you’re walking out the door she’s the sort who will stuff money in your pocket as she whispers in your ear, Don’t forget I have enough turkey to make you another sandwich tomorrow. Maybe you die a little inside to admit it but for anal sex and a turkey sandwich you know you’re going back to her. She has eight kids so she must know how to make a good sandwich. Nice crusty ciabatta, swiss cheese, couple slabs of turkey, and then wrapped in foil and heated up in the oven. Just before serving she adds a little mayo and a couple slices of tomato. Oh baby. You know I love you. Sure, I like a little black pepper. That’s right. Yeah you make hot. You look so sexy when you cut that sandwich in half. Pull your pants down. Back that ass up. Don’t tease me baby. Let me have a bite first.

  19. She should learn how to comb her hair before she moves on to the much harder task of dating.

  20. Rod

    Who want a women with all those damn kids.

  21. JD

    This is such a disappointment. I was thinking I surely had a shot with a castrating bitch with 82 Chinese kids.

    Dammit.

  22. Ben

    Bet she is screwing men everywhere she turn apart from that nobody want that bitch with 8 f-cking children.

  23. geez, just look at that book cover. Who wrote the foreword, Corky?

  24. wolf5150

    Parker @ #18
    I just went from six to midnight while you told that story!!
    Of course in real life her vag is still like a fuckin’ clown car and there may be
    others who have ridden to the bottom of that canyon on donkeys and not returned yet. Lets hear about that sandwich again. Can it be Pastrami this time?

  25. Parker

    Pastrami is kind of tough for an amateur to pull off successfully but then again, mothers do make the best sandwiches so….

  26. I think if she dates then she dates. I think if she doesn’t then she doesn’t. Though i am not sure who would date her. I think it is more likely that she will have a one night stand instead.

  27. She still has be to be in control. I will let you all know when i ready to put up with you……………

    She needs help. good article.

  28. I’d be so frustrated with her if I was Jon! Maybe atThe Blastoff Network

  29. It’s said that short stature of Louis XIV in order to make himself look taller and more powerful, more self-confident and more authoritative, he ordered the shoemaker for his shoes fitted 4-inch high-heel on, and the heel was painted red to show his noble status. Today, the beauty women are crazy for the high-heeled shoes. However, the high-heeled shoes’s styles are complicated; women don’t know which her Mr. Right is?
    But I know Christian Louboutin.

  30. CrazyB

    Guaranteed she is crazy upstairs.

  31. Jamie Lynn's Uterus

    18 – Parker..again, excellent analysis. And besides, who doesn’t like ciabatta bread? She probably has a bread machine, and it would be fresh and delicious.

  32. Parker

    Thank you #31, yes there’s something I just “get” about the woman. Much in the same way one can look at someone like, say, Spencer Pratt, and recognize him as a douchebag, I can look at Kate and “see” a future of anal sex and sandwiches. I know what you’re thinking and, no, Jamie Lynn’s Uterus, I’m not psychic. I’m just really good looking and as everyone knows, really good looking people always have the most profound thoughts which they couple with the most noble deeds to provide shining paths of goodness for all the not so good looking people to follow. But I digress. The point I’m trying to make is if mothers make the best sandwiches and I like anal sex, then Kate has a future. One is a theory, the other a fact. With the help of a good mother I can use one to prove the other.

  33. Rough intentions

    Come on Kate the worlds awaits. By the way, who will be doing the courting?

  34. bmose

    She doesn’t need to date cuz she’s already doin 3somes with the bodyguard.

  35. EricLR

    Well, there goes my fantasy of dating a 30-something bitchy shrew with 8 kids.

  36. Rosie

    I don’t care if she is ready to date, but wish she would shut up.

  37. LouR

    Date this? After how many kids? you need to tie a “2×4″ on your ass, so you won’t fall in! but…I’ll take a B.J.!!!

  38. LouR

    Date this? After how many kids? you need to tie a “2×4″ on your ass, so you won’t fall in! but…I’ll take a B.J.!!!

  39. Jenna

    You mean to tell me that after years of sex with Jon Gosselin this woman has no interest in men anymore?

    No way.

  40. WHO CARES ??????????????????? UNEMPLOYMENT @15%…………..HEALTHCARE AND MEDICAL MODEL SOON TO BECOME GOVERNMENT OWNED AND CONTROLLED……………PEOPLE ARE SLEEPING IN TENTS AND CARDBOARD BOXES……..SOULDIERS ARE DYING……….CHINA IS CALLING OUR BITS………..OBAMA’S SITTING ON HIS HANDS WHILE WAITING TO BE INVITED INTO AFGANISTAN POLITICS, AND NOW HE’S PROPOSSING PUTTING AL QUEDA ON PAYROLL AT $20.00/WEEK…………AND WE SUPPOSE TO BE CONCERNED FOR KATE POTENTIAL DATING ODDS????????????? STRIKE UP THE ORCHESTA…..THE TITANIC IS SINKING…………………

  41. WHO CARES ??????????????????? UNEMPLOYMENT @15%…………..HEALTHCARE AND MEDICAL MODEL SOON TO BECOME GOVERNMENT OWNED AND CONTROLLED……………PEOPLE ARE SLEEPING IN TENTS AND CARDBOARD BOXES……..SOULDIERS ARE DYING……….CHINA IS CALLING OUR BITS………..OBAMA’S SITTING ON HIS HANDS WHILE WAITING TO BE INVITED INTO AFGANISTAN POLITICS, AND NOW HE’S PROPOSSING PUTTING AL QUEDA ON PAYROLL AT $20.00/WEEK…………AND WE SUPPOSE TO BE CONCERNED FOR KATE POTENTIAL DATING ODDS????????????? STRIKE UP THE ORCHESTA…..THE TITANIC IS SINKING…………………

  42. WHO CARES ??????????????????? UNEMPLOYMENT @15%…………..HEALTHCARE AND MEDICAL MODEL SOON TO BECOME GOVERNMENT OWNED AND CONTROLLED……………PEOPLE ARE SLEEPING IN TENTS AND CARDBOARD BOXES……..SOULDIERS ARE DYING……….CHINA IS CALLING OUR BITS………..OBAMA’S SITTING ON HIS HANDS WHILE WAITING TO BE INVITED INTO AFGANISTAN POLITICS, AND NOW HE’S PROPOSSING PUTTING AL QUEDA ON PAYROLL AT $20.00/WEEK…………AND WE SUPPOSE TO BE CONCERNED FOR KATE POTENTIAL DATING ODDS????????????? STRIKE UP THE ORCHESTA…..THE TITANIC IS SINKING…………………

  43. WHO CARES ??????????????????? UNEMPLOYMENT @15%…………..HEALTHCARE AND MEDICAL MODEL SOON TO BECOME GOVERNMENT OWNED AND CONTROLLED……………PEOPLE ARE SLEEPING IN TENTS AND CARDBOARD BOXES……..SOULDIERS ARE DYING……….CHINA IS CALLING OUR BITS………..OBAMA’S SITTING ON HIS HANDS WHILE WAITING TO BE INVITED INTO AFGANISTAN POLITICS, AND NOW HE’S PROPOSSING PUTTING AL QUEDA ON PAYROLL AT $20.00/WEEK…………AND WE SUPPOSE TO BE CONCERNED FOR KATE POTENTIAL DATING ODDS????????????? STRIKE UP THE ORCHESTA…..THE TITANIC IS SINKING…………………

  44. Why should she date when shes banging her bodyguard already.she’s been doing it awhile already

  45. Marty

    WHO would want to date a woman with EIGHT kids??? For the money/noteriety, (incorrect spelling!!) of course. Why are the two Gosselin’s being written about any way???

  46. STFU

    TRICIA, THIS IS A GOSSIP BLOG YOU STUPID WHORE!!

  47. oh god, I couldn’t care less. Please make her go away…

  48. k russis

    who cares??? I’m sick of seeing and hearing about them.

  49. red

    as adivorced mother of 6…..when i opted to date…i opted to NOT introduced the gentlemen to the children until i was sure that there was soemthing there. to this date…and i am engaged to be married. My 6 children have only met 3 men i dated in 5 years time.

    those 3 men were introduced becasue I felt that the children deserved to be introduced to the man i was involved with after i did my precursery review of background and went past the game playing and the like.

    I feel that Kate unlike Jon would be similar…Jon has a need to have the world and kate know he was able to find someone to be with…where as Kate whetehr she is involed on any level with some one….doesnt feel the need to have people know she is still desireable to anyone…

    and inregard to private parts being attributable to a clown care…all of her children were delivered by C’section how would ones vaginal tissues be affected if the babies didnt come out through that way??? hmm inquiring minds want to know the answer to that one

  50. red

    as adivorced mother of 6…..when i opted to date…i opted to NOT introduced the gentlemen to the children until i was sure that there was soemthing there. to this date…and i am engaged to be married. My 6 children have only met 3 men i dated in 5 years time.

    those 3 men were introduced becasue I felt that the children deserved to be introduced to the man i was involved with after i did my precursery review of background and went past the game playing and the like.

    I feel that Kate unlike Jon would be similar…Jon has a need to have the world and kate know he was able to find someone to be with…where as Kate whetehr she is involed on any level with some one….doesnt feel the need to have people know she is still desireable to anyone…

    and inregard to private parts being attributable to a clown care…all of her children were delivered by C’section how would ones vaginal tissues be affected if the babies didnt come out through that way??? hmm inquiring minds want to know the answer to that one

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