Kate Beckinsale thinks mastery in the bedroom gets her out of the kitchen – HILARIOUS!

June 5th, 2008 // 42 Comments

Kate Beckinsale is full of gems. First, she said she’d rather eat pussy than sushi. Now, she’s telling Glamour magazine that her awesome skills in the sack give her a free pass from sandwich making. Ha! But, no, seriously, who let her speak in public?:

“I’m the worst wife in the cooking department. I always thought you can’t be good at food and sex, but you can always order the food in. I’d rather he didn’t order in the sex.”

So, by Kate Beckinsale’s logic, if your wife is an awesome cook, you’re allowed to bring prostitutes into the house. I’m in. Someone get me Rachael Ray in a wedding dress and two tickets to Vegas. Holy cow, I can almost smell the hookers and pot roast!

Photos: Splash News

  1. veggi

    If ever a girl needed a little ATM to shut her up….

  2. f

    Oh sweet muppet, where is thy touch?

  3. Randal

    You’re looking beautiful, as always there Kate. From when you appeared in Pearl Harbor, many fell in love with you right then and there. Your eyes sparkle even when all light has gone out.

    A fan and always a fan. xoxo


  4. Dick Bush

    Who needs a sandwich when I can eat her ass.

    After that I’ll have her gnaw on my tubesteak.

  5. Proger

    That girl is HOT!

  6. katherine

    haha she is so funny. i wuv kate beckinsale. hahahaha shes so hilarious, kindof like obama running for president. HILARIOUS. he’s not going to win. haahahahaha. hahahahahhahahaahha

  7. NastyBedazzler

    I’ve always found her to be extremely attractive.

  8. will

    Uh, Fish…. Hookers = dick-rotting diseases. Think about it.

  9. wrong again, katherine

    He’s got 3-5 times the campaign donations as McCain already, while the DNC is flush and the RNC is broke. McCain isn’t the same as Bush, he’s the same as Dole. He’s going to lose badly.

  10. If she can suck start a Harley, who gives a shit if she can cook?

  11. Oh geeez….what’s with these sluts who think actually mastering cooking is so beneath them? (That goes for you guys too.)

  12. veggi

    I’m not particularly fond of laying a deuce at work, but it’s so much worse when you’ve had way too much cheap alcohol the night before. Two words: mud butt. And every single person in the office can hear the toilet paper dispenser screech round and round during the 15 minutes of wiping, followed by 2 flushes, a moment of extreme panic, then 1 more flush. I had to fake a cell phone conversation just to make it back to my cubicle without dying of embarrassment.

  13. Ted from LA

    Just wash your ass in the sink.

    As for Kate, I agree with her. I’d rather eat pussy than sushi any day.

  14. PunkA

    I LOVE HER!!!


    She can burn water for all I care if she sizzles in the sack. Chick with her head on right.

  15. Ted from LA

    #13, By the way Veggi, that is a great tribute you just made to Big Brown.

  16. Dorito Man

    She is gorgeous! I bet she can make tacos still, too. Rawrrrr

  17. That wasn’t even Veggi, but it WAS pretty disgustingly funny!!!!!

    Has anyone here seen Iron Man? I’m thinking of going tonight and need opinions..

  18. PunkA

    IronMan rocked. Other than the new Batman stuff, I normally do not love comic books made to movies. Usually too cheesy. But IronMan was a great film. Very fun. And the cast and acting was good too.

  19. she was in iron man? i thought she only did vampire movies.

  20. does she only do vampire movies?

  21. chyntz

    i’d beckon her sails,
    and her tailfin too

  22. Thanks PunkA, I will go then..

  23. Kate shut up once and for all!

    Can’t “be good” at food and sex? First of all don’t refer to cooking as “I’m good at food”. What an idiot she is. She should never talk to the press. First she refers to her twat as “pharoah’s tomb” and then this. She’s cute but useless.
    Just stay on your back – thats your job biotch.

  24. Troyfamz

    That joke only works if you use someone who’s actually a good cook.

  25. kate's ugly

    she’s not good looking and probably not good in bed. People who need to say their good in bed usually aren’t.

  26. secybirch

    I’m excellent at both.

  27. squeakyboots

    #13, Veggi, most of the time your comments make me queasy but this one made me laugh harder than I have in a looong time…

  28. Hucky Ducky

    I love you Randal

  29. Sarah

    She’s gorgeous and hilarious! I think you’re looking far too much into what she said; it sounds much more like she’s just giving a funny side to the fact that she can’t cook.

    I love her :)

  30. DoOsH

    uhhh too bad Rachael Ray sucks at cooking as well. Thumbs down superfish.

  31. Rachel K

    If I hear one more comment from her about her swingin’ sex life or how gorgeous her vag is or how sexy she thinks she is than I am off this site for good. If she is so hot why is Len sleeping with his production assistant?

  32. Upfish

    mmm this is the most delicious post today. I love it when you can stimulate both my gluttony and lust.

  33. Dude

    This chick is hot. Men care a HELL of a lot more about good sex than good food. And by good sex I mean a woman actually being there.

  34. Dude

    This chick is hot. Men care a HELL of a lot more about good sex than good food. And by good sex I mean a woman actually being there.

  35. CF


  36. HuckyDucky

    I don’t care if she’s had work. If so, pin a medal on the surgeon.

    This chick is so, so, so fine. Beautiful face, best ass, best walk in Hollywood. Megan Fox is hot, sure, but this chick is alluring.

  37. peeps

    Well I’m damn good at both and so is my husband, he’s a chef and a master in the bedroom. Ya our marriage rocks!

    On another note why do these bitches keep doing this damn hairstyle? ‘Pulled back hair poofed at the top’ is HIDEOUS. LADIES it makes your forehead looking FUCKING HUGE. Very, very, bad. Unless you have a tiny forehead don’t go for it, even if you have a medium or small forhead its a no-go.
    Also I must ask why do so many biatches with alien foreheads don’t get bangs? BANGS ladies, bangs are wonderful. If you are old, Instead of Botox get Bangs. If you have bad skin or scars or a giant forehead get some bangs and cover that shit up. Also remember to pin your bangs up at home to let your foreheaad breath, especialy if you have skin problems.

  38. peeps 2

    You know she’,s hot but I have no patience for men or women who can’t cook. It’s not like one of those things that you are either good at or not (example singing).
    YOU NEED FOOD TO FUCKING LIVE and if you are so stupid that you can’t follow a fucking recipe or put together a nice meal with all the great variety of delicious foods out there then you are an idiot and damn lucky that the world is the way that it is because you would have died back in the time when people had to actually make an effort to fucking feed themselves and couldn’t call up pizza hut every night.

    It’s lazy and pathetic and suggests an extreme level of stupidity to be unable to cook and the bitch doesn’t like sushi, sushi is fucking amazing anbd one of the best foods to help keep a slim figure. A lot of whores are scared of cooking because they are scared of eating, though Kate looks totally healthy and not remotely to thin I do wonder why she has such an aversion to cooking. Angelina says she can’t cook either, in fact most bitches in Hollywood say that can’t cook, they say they are great in bed, but I bet you they actually aren’t good in bed at all. So you have some high maintenance bitch who can’t cook and thinks that just lying there once a month means being good in bed, wow sounds like heaven.

    Girls and boys do not be afriad of food, learn to cook a few meals, it’s good for you and your love life. Also try using some real fucking ingredients instead of all that processed shit. If you are overweight and out of shape that is probably part of the problem. Watch the cooking network for gawd’s sake. When you can cook and are great in bed that’s a killer combo. Women love a man who can cook and men love a woman who can cook.

    Get your game on bitches, the second you start slagging is when you are gonna get your ass left for someone who doesn’t.

  39. dumb broad

    I never realized how annoying she was until she started talking to the press. Silly bitch. Well she’s gotta do something to stay in the press, her acting flat out suck and so do her movies. What a hag.

  40. lulu

    excuses, excuses. TOO BAD I’m awesome @ cooking and fucking/sucking :)

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