Kate Beckinsale is kind of pretty…I guess

June 21st, 2007 // 179 Comments

Kate Beckinsale showed up to the UK premiere of Die Hard 4.0 looking like her usual ridiculous self. Ridiculously ugly that is! That face, that body. I mean c’mon, it’s like she’s not even trying. She looks like she’s completely covered in hair! And what is that, a banana? Hmm, wait, I think I was looking at the monkey issue of Zoo Books on accident. Let me pull up the right pictures. Oh, yeah, she looks stunning here.


  1. Eric


  2. I would like to rub my manhood on her … if I had any left, that is.

  3. Jessie

    I guess she has a stain on her front teeth?

  4. Dan

    hm I did notice that

  5. ak

    I never really looked at her like that, but I am very impressed with these pictures. She is beautiful

  6. Opium

    The guy in the background in picture 5 looks fucking hilarious! *snorts*
    Father christmas has turned into a homeless drunken man.

  7. nikki

    What is up with her teeth? Is she british or something?

  8. domingoflores

    she has always had my attention…specially in Van Helsing she is really got this sweet fucking pussy look to her



  10. HoboChic

    Ok. Yesterday Evangeline Lilly was cute like something or another and today Kate is an ugly monkey? Sorry, but they’re practically twins. Can’t have it both ways.

  11. woodhorse

    I think all the Kelly Clarkson Defenders need to be referred here to what a “normal” female body should look like. I myself am aiming for a shape more like Jessica Biel – more muscle = better health.

  12. Binky

    She looks pretty good – and thrifty ! Third pic second row, looks like she just couldn’t let a free Sharpy get away.
    (And judging from the posters – Willis finally had to clean himself up a bit for a film)

  13. Rose

    Something about the British, almost all of them– male or female, they are never truly good-looking for some reason. That icludes those two huge-boob models for sure. They all have that vaguely unsettling years-of-inbreeding
    in dark damp places look, a strange and unsatisfying bone structure, and, of course, the ubiquitous bad teeth.

  14. Strident Fat Girl (played by Chris Farley)

    Everybody who thinks Kelly Clarkson is fat must be really happy with this stick! Buncha pedos!

  15. DonkeyPunchster

    @2: Bern – thoroughly enjoying your blog today.

    Boobs, death over Niagra Falls, Asian fish.

    All gold.

    You have roped me in. Now I waste half my day checking for updates on this site and on yours.

    My boss is so proud.

  16. Opium

    Hey-hey! I’m english and I look fine and so do my teeth, I just have tiny teeth.
    How very rude. *grumbles*

  17. Zeuz

    whats wrong with you people !! ??? Of course shes beautiful !!

  18. aprilmax

    She’s very pretty, and always a lady…such a nice change from the legion of skanky Fem-bots littering Hollywood right now.

  19. lambman

    pear shaped woman + eating disorder + implants = hot hourglass figure

  20. Wanky

    i would die happy if she just rubbed her ass against my crotch!

  21. Jimbo

    Do any of you – ANY of you – even care that my anus is red and itchy and painful?

  22. #15 – Wow. Thanks, DP. We appreciate your business at The Life and Times of Bernard.

    Tell everyone you have ever met, ever, and then beat them, daily, until they go to the site.

    That is all.

  23. JagedNS

    “oops silly me, I dropped the marker, could you bend over and pick that up for me Kate?…..mmmm that’s it…..bend over” strangely enough I can almost hear Peter Griffen mouthing these words. :)

  24. Jimbo

    @11 this is what you think a normal female body should look like? She is incredibly skinny. Jessica Biel has a little more meat on her. I don’t think females should be using these women as role model on how skinny they should be. Kelly is a little chubby, but not fat by any means

  25. chinadoll

    I feel sorry for you White folks… is this your idea of beauty??? White woman look like dried up old men… pale skin, flat asses, wrinkles at 20… At least Dinero get’s it! YUK!!!

  26. d. trump

    This isn’t the ideal of beauty for white folks. It’s what rich girls look like. Poor girls are fat. Poor boys go “yum-yum, I likes me a big bum!” It’s often confused as a white-black thing, because…well, you know.

  27. Jimbo

    @21 My troll is back. It is not itchy anymore. I put some Preparation H on it

  28. Her face structure is similar to Posh Beckham. She looks like a british nanny with no full lips.

  29. yolatengo

    she is beautiful, but i hear she’s a bitch. that’s why i dont return her calls. i like my womens sweet.

    she had the worst implants (appears she had them removed)

    you can check it out here:

  30. t

    I always thought she was rather ugly looking actually. Just another example of over-rated beauty in Hollywood. Okay she isn’t as gross as Britney Spears or anything but she is hardly like the old school glam of the 40′ and 50′s either.

  31. mr gossip

    well kate is looking hot in these pics. i wonder how good she would look if she spent 3 weeks in jail? http://www.hiltonbehindbars.com

  32. me

    “Something about the British, almost all of them– male or female, they are never truly good-looking for some reason. That icludes those two huge-boob models for sure. They all have that vaguely unsettling years-of-inbreeding
    in dark damp places look, a strange and unsatisfying bone structure, and, of course, the ubiquitous bad teeth.”

    Where as you Americans have Britney, Paris and Renee Zelwegger . Umm enough said I think.

  33. omg kate has never been ugly she is and has always been gorgeous.

  34. hm...

    Ugly????!!!! I think you need to have your vision checked, brother…. Or you have completely degraded taste in women.

  35. ForTheDefense

    Is it legal to be that hot indoors? Aye Cariba…

  36. #32: Americans are essentially from all over, so we get to blame our ugliness on other cultures. And our alcoholism!

  37. shoes

    Nice shoes.

    Dress is not so hot.

    Looks like a white dinosaur.

  38. Sheva

    Okay time for the American girls to kick back and eat another yodel. Shoot, the idea this chick actually looks that good and is a mother? WoW!

    No wonder her husband was caught in a store recently feeling up her ass. Don’t know if she pushed the envelope and didn’t eat for a week here but she is looking very, very good if a bit on the thin side.

    I’ll take it over an American yodel eating “I don’t cook” chick any fucking day of the week.

    Only bad thing I can say about her is I hear she smokes. But damn she is smoking. What a lucky guy her husband is.

  39. Brian

    It’s refreshing to have pictures of Kate instead of Britney, Paris or Lindsey.

  40. Kamiki

    She’s pretty but looks like she smokes, but I am British and am gorgeous! I’ve certainly met plenty of Americans with bad teeth too! My ex was American (well he still is) had beautiful teeth but they fell out. HAHA!

  41. duh-der-doye

    She’s hotttt! And I love her impossibly shitty action-adventure-horror-fantasy-giantfecalroll movies!

  42. Julie

    Kate Beckinsale is beautiful. I love her. Alot.

  43. 15piecesofflare

    She’s become the Picture of Dorian Gray.

  44. she is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo pretty i love her!! I always wish to hugh jackman and she will be together …im sorry if you dont know., but im from croatia and im great in english.., but..but =)

  45. Darth Hater

    When I first started reading this, I thought I’d have to hunt Fish down and brutally kill him for dissing Kate, so I am relieved he was just kidding :)

    @7 Yes she is British, and smokes too, or at least used to smoke.
    Other than that, she is PERFECT.

  46. hahaha thats what white people think is beautiful? I think you are referring to white men- and I know alotta other “raced” men who think white girls r beautiful too…judging by your comment i bet it would hurt if i said- black dudes are especially lovin the white girls lately.

  47. SlamBamWibbetyWHAMBAMBADAM

    Oh Kate,
    your name rhymes with Masturbaaate,
    I realize this as I play with my taint.
    You’re British.
    Can you ride my stick and play quidditch?

    Worst Poem Ever. Tank you.

  48. Kamiki

    My ex was a black American, a very sexy man, I still love him but had to dump him cos he was a lying cheating hound piece of shit!

  49. SlamBamWibbetyWHAMBAMBADAM


  50. FanBoy

    Tsk-tsk. Where’s her wedding ring?

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