Kate Beckinsale is a good wife

June 27th, 2006 // 62 Comments

Helping her husband change into his pants or performing a little midday maintenance? If what I believe about Kate Beckinsale is true then it’s the latter. Although if what I belive about Kate Beckinsale is true then she also spends 80% of her time walking around in lingerie, 20% of her time in the kitchen, and 100% of her time in the bedroom. Wait, that doesn’t make sense. 200% of her time in the bedroom.

UPDATE: Took down the images at the request of Splash. You can still check them out at their official site.


  1. Precisely

    Yeah that’s not drawing attention to yourself. That chick looks pissed.

  2. jane's eyre

    Aren’t you supposed to stop changing your pants in public when you’re like, um, 4?

  3. Why isn’t she using her mouth?

  4. cruzin333

    What the hell is he doing? Tucking his dick back in? Looks to me like it fell out of his shorts and his wife is holding a towel while he replaces it where it belongs.

  5. Jacq

    He looks like he’s giggling and begging her not to touch his wee-wee.

  6. biatcho

    what a ‘mo.

  7. Equalparts

    Well Blow me down. What a EXCITING BIT OF NEWS!!! YOU’RE KIDDING! Kate Beckinsale and her frat boy hubby on the beach?? I never would of guessed it could be possible. Whoop De Doo Dang.

  8. Jacq

    Tell me, Kate, should I wear it in our out today?
    Hee-hee-hee! In! In!

  9. Precisely


  10. Steph

    I like the look on the girls face in the second photo. It’s like a combination of intrigue and disgust

  11. biatcho

    #10 – that chick in the 2nd picture has no reason to look at anyone else in disgust. I mean, she’s fucking hanging out all over the place. Lock that shit up.

  12. Jacq

    #10 – I, too, am intrigued and disgusted. Intrigued by her boobs and disgusted by her gut.

  13. Yeah, there’s nothing sexier than peeking at a small, shriveled, sandy wiener that’s been soaking in brine all morning. That’s really the only way I ever want to see a man’s penis. Unless he has a Jacob’s ladder adorning his scrotum and has dyed his pubic hair neon red. That’s pretty hot, too.

    Thanks, everybody, for leaving comments on my site! I have so many imaginary friends now, I can probably stop cutting myself and drinking Everclear for breakfast.

    I said PROBABLY.

  14. tarjamarja


    Yeah, that’s pretty much what my Mum used to do with a towel when my brother wanted to change pants at the beach and didn’t want anyone to see his willy. He was about 4 years old at the time.

  15. jane's eyre

    Hee hee! I heart you, sweetcheeks.

    small, shriveled, sandy, brine-soaked weiner? I sense a market for that.

  16. YouWannaBMe

    I only wish there were a fourth picture where she yanks the towel down exposing his “shrinkage” and him kicking sand in her face as she laughs at his small weenie. Then and only then would this be newsworthy.

  17. IFuckingHateYou

    At least it looks like they’re having fun, unlike all these millionaire celebrities (or Paris) that are always pissed off.
    Plus, I saw “Click” this week-end and now I’m more ad-dick-ted to Kate – she is fucking hot.

  18. ESQ

    I’m sorry I am too distracted to give this “newsworthy” item a comment. My eyes are fixed in the sausage staring at them. OR is that a before picture of a girl using TrimSpa?

  19. frangly

    #11 and #12, I was just waiting….waiting… for the inevitable comments on how the girl in the red bikini top is a fat cow, a whale, a rhino, disgusting, doesn’t deserve to live, ad infinitum ad nauseum.

    Surprised it took so long to get to that point. God y’all are so sadly predictable.

  20. Jacq

    #19 – Are YOU the girl in the red bikini top?
    Would you rather we pick on her very unfortunate braids?

  21. herbiefrog

    the lessor fish guy omitted
    the photo where she is
    peeking inside the

    …presumably to
    …see how the cold
    …water affects things :)

  22. HandsOfGod

    Kate is bowing down, and worshipping the religion of penis. It’s the new Hollywood fad, next to Scientology and Kabalah. That, or she’s trying to show the fat chick what a naked man looks like.

  23. jane's eyre

    What’s the “lessor” fish guy? Is he the big tuna that leases a empty clam shell to the little minnow (the “lessee”)?

  24. Jacq

    I’ve got an empty clam shell for lease. Twenty dollars per hour.

  25. herbiefrog

    25 no if that was a cockle shell :)

  26. jrzmommy

    Red tube top chick looks like she’s about to deck Kate and run off with her man.

  27. Jacq

    The lady in the red bikini top looks like jrzmommy. All stretched-out in the mid-section.

    #26 – Ok, herbie, that was actually good. :)

  28. jane's eyre

    25 Does it happen to be a bearded clam?

  29. jane's eyre

    Yay, herbie, you made a cognitive sentence. Stay with us! Do not retreat to the land of superfluous line breaks and nonsensical babblings! You can do it!

  30. jFp

    could be wrong but it looks like she is covering him while he makes water.

    what a gal!!!!!!

  31. IFuckingHateYou

    #28 & #30 – does this mean the end of te world is nigh since you are praising Herbie?

  32. Jacq

    #29 – Bearded like Rip Van Winkle.

  33. krisdylee

    I can’t quite recall when red and neon green has EVER gone together. I’d be very ashamed if I was that blimpy fatso in the background. Cuz, see, I am soooo hot. Man am I hot.

  34. Jacq

    #32 – I don’t know. I’m scared. I feel unwell.

  35. jrzmommy

    Jacq, pleasant as ever, I see.

  36. IFuckingHateYou

    #35 – you’ll be OK, just take a few shots of tequila and it will all pass.
    And hurry up and do it before you start chatting with meganharris or Lamebananarama

  37. IFuckingHateYou

    jizzymomma – how’s Wisconsin treating you?
    That’s where you are from, correct? That’s where all ugly chicks come from originally.

  38. jane's eyre

    I embrace all who reject the religion of indecipherable posts.

    Those who are names after psychotic phallic fruit, however, can never be redeemed and go straight to Hades.

  39. jane's eyre


  40. Jacq

    #36 – *tips hat*

    #34 – I know. I know. It’s tough being dead efen sexy.

  41. Jacq

    *effen* dang it!

  42. IFuckingHateYou

    #39 – is Hades another name for Tom Cruise’s ass? That’s the only place tha lame banananananana has been lately.

  43. jane's eyre

    No, to him, that would be Paradise.

  44. krisdylee

    29 – she sucks sea shells by the seashore…

  45. herbiefrog

    actually there are two different pics
    of her peeking into the “towel”

    looks like she’s trying to get a bit closer in the second

    but i really couldn’t comment :)_

  46. PaisleyMoon

    Kate Beckinsale is nothing. She’s less interesting than Paris Ho and Lindsay Ho. I hate her top. I hate her shorts. I hate her hair. She makes me puke.

  47. RichPort


    HA! That sounds like pickled dick…. too funny

  48. IFuckingHateYou

    PaisleyMoon – you are just as interesting as MeganHarris

  49. dy100g

    is that britney spears in the background?

Leave A Comment