Kate Upton Won’t Get Naked And It’s Your Fault

The Superficial | August 8, 2014 - 1:07 pm

In a new interview with Details, Kate Upton reveals why she’ll never pose naked, and it’s because of jerks already putting photos of her all over the Internet for people to get boners from them which apparently isn’t “art” even though I ritualistically paint my penis in the style of Gustav Klimt every morning before breakfast, so maybe check your privilege, Kate:

For me those photos are art. Your body is art, your body is beautiful, and to be photographed in that way is amazing and it’s received in a very positive way. But with social media and the Internet and not so great blogs and the attention like that, I don’t think that my pictures would be received in the way that I’d want them to be received. That’s why I’ve stayed away from them. I really appreciate those photos and I think those women are beautiful, but I think social media and the Internet has prevented me from putting myself out there like that.

Kate Upton made a Hot Pockets video with Snoop Dogg, so I’m pretty sure she gave up the right to lecture anyone about art if not dinner pastries. That said, I’m personally offended that she thinks me, a “not so great” blogger, wouldn’t tastefully post her nudes to the Internet. For the record, I already have scented candles sitting right here which I will painstakingly light while the romantic Nelly ballad “Hot In Herre” plays in the background. It’ll be like a night of culture at the Louvre provided the Louvre is some sort of giant masturbating arena from TRON which I’ll argue to the death it is.

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