Here’s Kate Upton Almost Going Deaf & Blind in Antarctica So You Can Get A Boner

February 13th, 2013 // 38 Comments
Kate Upton Topless Sports Illustrated
WATCH: Behind The Scenes - Kate Upton's 'SI' Photo Shoot

Above is a behind-the-scenes video from Kate Upton‘s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit photo shoot which apparently took place in fucking Antarctica where she almost went deaf and blind from posing topless in subzero temperatures. Which was smart because people are definitely going to notice anything besides her huge, awesome breasts. “I really want to look at this landscape, but grrr, these stupid tits,” I bet they’re saying.

superficial

  1. So now there’s health problems you can get from going 90% naked in Antarctica? DAMN YOU GLOBAL WARMING!!! when will it end???

  2. ITP

    she’ll be fine. she has plenty of insulation

  3. Whenever she speaks, the ice-skating scene from Rocky pops into my head: My ol’ man, he was never too smart. He says to me, ‘You weren’t born with much of a brain, ya know, so uh, ya better start using your body, right?’

  4. Inner Retard

    I have to bow before the ignorance of people who can say with such conviction that posing half naked in magazines is a “career”.

    • Considering the fact that she’s made more money this past year than most doctors, attorneys, and many other “professional types”, I doubt she’s concerned about who does or doesn’t think of what she does as a career.

    • Cindy Crawford, Heidi Klum, Giselle Bundchen, Kathy Ireland and the list goes on and on. Stinking rich as shit from their “non-career” of posing half naked in magazines.

    • Inner Retard

      El Jefe, In what universe is Kate Upton’s Play-Doh barrel body and moon pie face in the same category as models you mentioned? And goodwolfe21, how long before the world gets tired of her and she burns through that cash in true model fashion? The next “it” girl is already on its way. You know it.

  5. Buddy The Elf

    Hot.
    I really dont care what you guys nitpick apart.

  6. She’s doing god’s work.

  7. Cock Dr

    Someone should explain to SI that it’s really not necessary to take their swimsuit models all the way to the poles just to ensure hard nips for their photoshoot.
    An ice cube would be a whole lot cheaper.

    • Inner Retard

      Like government, first rule of media is an expensive, convoluted plan is better than a simple cheap one. Just ask them about grilled cheese sandwiches, I dare you!

  8. rrr

    ^^ ahah oh gosh that is funny- i feel genuinely bad for her though- that is dedication for sure…

  9. Skid Mark

    Hit the gym woman

  10. USDA Prime McBeef

    She was going deaf and blind? I’m guessing she showed up dumb, so can’t blame the penguins for that.

    I refuse to watch the video because I refuse to acknowledge that she speaks.

  11. Judas Iscariot

    Deaf and Blind? Throw in Dumb and she’s perfection.

  12. catapostrophe

    She’d be dangerous if she had a nice figure.

  13. Donkey Tits

    say hello to the next jessica simpson

  14. I’m waiting for the outtake, where Kate gets off the boat on to the ice floe and she sees the electric penguin, twenty feet high, with long green tentacles that sting people, and she fights it and kills it and the blood goes pssssssssshhh in slow motion.

  15. rrr

    aww i watched the video- she seems like a real sweet girl and a trooper too putting up with that cold. she is so so pretty :)

  16. Beer Baron

    Hello Big Fat Tittles!

  17. Fish – you presume that we even CARE about her as a “person”, and not how we really view her: A 100% disposable, huge tittied, sperm receptacle. Silly Fish.

  18. LordViperScorpion

    SI always makes her look terrible. Her suit is always too small and the photos are shot so she looks chunky. She’s a cute girl but most fashion photographers and photo editors are a little light in the loafers and have no idea what actually looks good.

  19. If you are a man and don’t want a piece of this woman, you are gay, plain and simple. Hell if you are a woman I might question you a little bit too.

  20. lawn

    As a bonus, she later cut some glass that needed cutting.

  21. coyote

    She has NO Ass, NO Hips, why do people obsess about her – Just tits

  22. John O'Brien

    What concerns me is the lead-in of the story….expressing their personal discontent over the location of the “Shoot” and feign concern about “Kate Upton’s” health. Do you really believe she didn’t have a choice to accept or decline the photo shoot, get a grip people. What constitutes as “News-Worthy” is frightening these days and you ignorant alleged journalists should find a different career, I say this because you couldn’t tell the friggin’ difference between a super-models ass and a asphalt sink-hole. Wait….is there one?

  23. cc

    I love athletic women, so I am actually more excited about Michelle Jenneke the Australian hurdler posing for SI. You should be too (hint: there’s a behind the scenes video for her too).

  24. LaMaitresse

    SI’s has really lowered the bar, I thought the girls had to be sort of fit and attractive. This one is just tarty with massive boobs, even Hef would ask her to tone up for Playboy!

  25. anonym

    I’d be happy to donate my body heat to her, and massage some warmth into those tits

  26. Meo

    Tarty with boobs, lol! That’s the perfect description because she has nothing else to offer. Dumb as a post and shaped Like a coke can, she’s a gelatinous slob who’s glorifying laziness and obesity. Whoever doesn’t see this must have pretty low standards because I’d never let myself get this bad. Shame on SI for being fooled by some sloppy tits. Shame on the world for allowing this to happen. Her face is busted with that inbred scrunched up upper lip of hers and her glacier fat slab of a stomach. You’re all blinded by her overly dyed blond hair and sloppy tits that belong on a used up 45 year old hag. Dumb blond never goes out do style, shame on the world.

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