Who’s Up For Watching Kate Upton’s Giant Breasts Wash A Mercedes In Slow Motion? Anyone?

January 23rd, 2013 // 28 Comments
Kate Upton Mercedes Benz
WATCH: Kate Upton Washes A Mercedes-Benz in Slow Motion

Because Mercedes-Benz apparently wants me to feel like a effeminate girly man writing his pretty little words on his pretty pink website unless I’m driving one of their cars (I’ll kindly pay you in dick jokes Tuesday for a Benz today.), here’s their latest commercial featuring Kate Upton‘s heaving breasts washing the new CLA in slow motion. A commercial that I almost thought Michael Bay directed until it didn’t end with him threatening to detonate a brick of C4 if she doesn’t take her top off and/or just ’cause. A true artist always leave his signature.


  1. Nelson Mandela

    Her breasts could only be considered giant on a much smaller framed woman. On her they’re kinda too small.

  2. Mr. C

    That was terrible. She’s gross.

  3. DeucePickle

    She’s terrible at washing cars.

  4. yeah well she’s not terrible looking, and BOOBS! and all too, but she’s kinda boxy…her legs are meh, hips and ass none existent no real muscle tone to speak of…

  5. Sam

    False advertisment. Standing beside a car, trying way too hard is not washing it. Nice boobs though. That’s pretty much all I can say for this chick. Don’t get me wrong. She’s hot but no.


    Besides the breast, she is pretty average. Candice Swanepoel, now she is delicious!

  7. catapostrophe

    It’s a shame about her shapeless legs, deflated ass, square hips and rectangular torso.

  8. Jon

    Hot girl and car washing…where do they come up with this stuff? So original!!

  9. Al

    she has a type II diabetes body

  10. floodo1

    See it’s ironic because she’s not actually washing the car!!!

    As for Ms Upton, her face and tits are good, and she’s not as skinny as most models. So for a model she’s fantastic, but otherwise this site has hundreds of hotter chicks.

    • cc

      I can’t quite remember, but I recall a different advertising campaign that did exactly the same ‘stunt’. I think it was even for a car also.

  11. Moo Cow Hunter

    Ironically, both Kate and the car have oversized headlights and neither is attractive.

  12. anonymous

    Everything below her tits is built weird.

  13. Cock Dr

    Her boobs didn’t bounce enough in this ad….so I won’t be buying that Benz after all.

  14. USDA Prime McBeef

    Your God created physics for the enjoyment of Upton’s boobs.

  15. This is just what I needed after the awesome day I’ve been having thanks to Nintendo.

  16. ernie

    She never actually washed the car. She blew some soap foam, and we got to see a bunch of jocks wash the car instead. How stupid is this website?

  17. Deacon Jones

    In the beginning, if they reversed that pan up to a pan down, it would mirror my penis’ reaction.

  18. Michael Bay actually made ScarHo hella mad by refusing she take her top off in The Island. So it REALLY isn’t his signature.

  19. i see someone was forced to wear a shirt. a little too doughy in the midriff Kate.

  20. tlmck


  21. Pat C.

    Given so many commenters think Kate Upton is ugly, maybe you should post a lot more Susan Boyle photos and videos.

  22. judgingyou

    This ad just showcased how overrated she is, no one wins.

  23. KV

    I think she looks better covered up a little than in those ill fitting bikinis they always put her in. With this top you can’t actually see her square torso so much.

  24. hamtime

    Y’know, I’m normally a bit of a fan boy when it comes to Kate Upton, but this made me really sad. Who the hell thought it would be a good idea to start the video with those legs?
    I hate to invoke the memories of Jessica Simpson from those long lost days, cause I can’t stand the voice, but she could really wash a car and she had legs!

  25. What stupid hipster came up with this shit?

  26. Mike

    That video was a total letdown, she didn’t wash shit. Lame.

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