Kate Upton’s Breasts Shill Free-To-Play Games Now

Last week’s South Park episode amazingly shit all over freemium games as it should. Except here are Kate Upton’s bouncing breasts telling me to play one which I’m probably going to do because the sole purpose of a penis is to bankrupt and ultimately kill whoever it’s attached to. Think of it like Superman and Lex Luthor except Lex Luthor can control Superman’s every thought and action and convince him condoms are made of Kryptonite. (I call my penis Lex Luthor. Is that weird?)

Adding… Emily Ratajkowski scored Call of Duty. Is Kate Upton going to take that lying down? *grabs popcorn*