Kate Upton’s Breasts In All Their Glory Are The Crap I Missed
So remember how we don’t need Kate Upton anymore now that we have Charlotte McKinney? That’s still true. In fact, it’s pretty much a rule of law, but that’s not the point right now. The point is that Kate Upton’s breasts looked goddamn awesome at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party last night, and more importantly, is the perfect parachute for me to dive out of 20 million red carpet photos of people I don’t even know or care about. Seriously, what’s a “Mark Ruffalo?” There’s no way that’s a real person. “Ruffalo.” Get outta here.