Kate Upton Is Talented

June 26th, 2012 // 82 Comments
Kate Upton Bikini Video
WATCH: The Many Talents of Kate Upton
Bless You, Terry
Kate Upton Dancing In A Bikini Read More »

UPDATE: Huge thanks to GQ for hooking us up with a new embed that actually works now. Resume bouncing!

I don’t want to keep fawning over Terry Richardson, but the man does two incredible things that are worth recognizing: 1. He somehow makes Lindsay Lohan look like an attractive human being. And 2. He’s constantly taking photographs and/or videos of Kate Upton‘s huge, awesome breasts like they’re the antidote. Barack Obama somehow became the first black president in our backwards, racist country and I don’t even look at him with this much esteem. Also, none of his YouTube videos end with a wet T-shirt contest, so it’s like he doesn’t even want to be president anymore.

superficial

  1. Frank Burns

    Just skip ahead to 1:20. Your welcome.

  2. Dude must have the best coke.

  3. Dan Quayle

    And God look upon his creation and marveled at the perfection he had given Man

  4. KV

    Ok, I get it she is pretty and has nice boobs (Gonna need a boob lift soon running around with no support). But there is something about her body tho that looks weird to me. Doesn’t she seem too square ? Almost no waist line there.

    • elephantman

      I think so too, she looks like she has buck teeth too.

    • Crazed Abandon

      I agree. My solution, focus on the parts. Tits, ass, legs, but never more than one at a time. She’ll look a lot better.

    • lily

      I completely agree, she looks skinny fat to me and i find her body underwhelming…. that wide boxy torso and no hips, blehhh. if it wasnt for the giant natural tits (which i acknowledge are nice and distracting) she would be another generic looking blonde bimbo.

    • lydia

      yup! she has a total skinny fat thing going on, but she kind of has to in order to keep that breast size. if she started working out she’d more than likely lose a lot of fat from her breasts. definite jiggly stomach.

      • janie

        right?! she has fantastic boobs and a pretty face but the boobs would disappear if she toned up everywhere else. i work out a lot and had a lazy phase, and my boobs got huge and awesomely jiggly, but the rest of me looked kinda meh. i’d rather be toned and curvy with small boobs than skinny-fat with huge boobs. i’m sure every guy on this site would disagree with me, but whatever.

      • thespiral

        RIGHT. Men need to realize that being skinny and having huge, jiggly natural boobs are mutually exclusive most of the time. That’s why models, strippers etc. tend to have fake boobs – you can’t get your body super tight and toned without losing fat from all over. I’ve tried it both ways and I prefer being thinner and having a smaller chest, while my husband prefers a bit more meat if it means extra boobs and butt.

        I feel the worst for fat girls who STILL have small boobs. Some people just can’t win.

  5. Cock Dr

    The only talent I can see here is bodacious bouncing boobs.
    And you know, with this chick, that’s more than enough.

    • USDA Prime McBeef

      She’s also super good at multivariate calculus and linear algebra. It helps at predicting how to get a boob bounce.

  6. 1:16 is all you need.

  7. down pour

    She’s seems like a ding-dong. The kind you can talk into doing stuff.

  8. She’s very pretty, while being incredibly cute at the same time. Plus those lovely lady lumps…what’s not to love?

  9. skunk

    titty whore

  10. Beefalo

    She’s gonna be a Jessica Simpson sized heifer in a few years. May hay while the sun shines darlin’, cause your DNA and love of pork rinds is working against you.

  11. Gin&Tonic

    still haven’t forgiven you for the octomom post but this is two huge bounces in the right direction

  12. kimmykimkim

    I don’t mind this chick, personally. She’s cute, all American, I get the appeal. But the other day, I was flipping through the VS catalog and there she was. Only saw one pic of her, from the ribs up, but I was a little shocked because she’s just not VS caliber. I mean the boobs are and she’s photogenic, of course, but VS? Really?

  13. ADT

    The more I look at Kate Upton the more I think she’s super overrated. Yeah, she has a great rack, but the rest of her is below average.

    • blueballs

      way overrated!!

    • Gonz

      I love it! Kate Upton is overrated but the average crackwhore with the body of an AIDS patient gets the gay crew drooling:) Nevermind that if this chick was walking around a beach with that body she would cause fucking mayhem! On here she just ain’t good enough for the shut-in dweebs and jealous cows:) What a bunch of fucking retards post on sites like this:)

  14. mike bay

    BUT can she wash a Ferrari???

  15. Hobo Wine

    OMG, I just threw up in my mouth!! …oops, typo…I meant I just jizzed in my pants.

  16. theoriginal LJ

    Makes me think it’s a good time for a reboot of “Bay Watch”.

  17. Deacon Jones

    Supermodels are by no means intelligent. But I feel like even the average cover models wouldnt be frolicking around giggling shaking their tits for 2 minute internet clips. Because at that point, you’ve “made it”. Something tells me she’s very impressionable (my penis).

    And let’s be honest, her face and tits are great. But for a 19 year olds stomach and legs/ass (or lack thereof), she’ll fade quickly. Especially if she gets knocked up.

  18. SeeAlice

    Kate is most talented !

  19. El Jefe

    I came for the boobs and did not leave disappointed. I love this girl.

  20. LRonHoover

    It’s a shame really, she’s halfway to flapjack tits already and she’s not even 21. Those puppies will be flat by the time she’s 30.

  21. mrsmass

    she’s about as talented as Terry Richardson is.

  22. DFENS

    Titties too small for her big, weird frame. Why is everyone saying they’re so big… they’re not small but she’s no Kelly Brook.

  23. Bianca

    She doesn’t seem to really give a fuck about the industry and I find that kinda refreshing. That said, I think she’s overrated. If you look at the average Brazilian model with their tiny waist, perfect butt and nice boobs, not to mention the pouty lips and perfect long, shiny hair, they blow this girl out of the water. Also, and this may be why guys like her, I find her to be really trashy, like, gang banged the entire football time in highschool trashy.

    • Bianca

      *team

    • Deacon Jones

      Hmm, sounds kindof hot. Speaking from personal experience Bianca?

      (penis slowly starts pushing upwards on pants)

    • Richard McQueef

      Brazilians are disgusting and subhuman.

    • El Jefe

      She would actually be fun to hang out with and talk to, the Brazilian ones not so much. I would rather have an 8 that I like to be with than a 10 that I cannot stand.

      • Bianca

        I was speaking from a purely physical beauty stand point, but duly noted. But I’m just wondering what’s the hate-on for the Brazilians? I think they’re some of the most laid back and friendliest people I’ve ever met, not to mention, absolutely gorgeous.

  24. judging you

    I do not get the appeal, I think it might be her weird torso…

  25. Me

    Talent implies you’re good at something. Bitch can’t skateboard or shoot hoops…

    And just because you are “dressed” as a lifeguard doesn’t mean you can save a person from drowning. But who knows maybe she is CPR certified, but if not, her boobs could still be used as an emergency floatation device.

  26. Walkaway_Joe

    Requesting the non-YouTube link now…

  27. cc

    They removed the video. Fuuuuuuuuuck.

  28. Ollie

    Her lower torso makes her look like a barrel with boobs.

  29. Moe

    Her hips and stomach are funky looking. She’s probably a terrible lay too.

  30. Stillcango

    I just spooged 3 times in less than 2mins. Thanks Kate

  31. I fucking love this chick. Nice bouncy tits, sexy DSL and a firm body. Thanks Terry. If there was a god, I would say you’re doing his work. Keep it up.

  32. Hugh Jazz

    Lovely girl. Sadly, her career arc will be sharper than that of an NBA player with bad ankles.

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