Kate Upton’s Breasts Aren’t Duck Dynasty

December 20th, 2013 // 25 Comments

Shhh, shhh… It’s alright, it’s alright. No more Duck Dynasty posts for the rest of the day. Daddy’s here…


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  1. Cock Dr

    Thank U “daddy”.
    Don’t expect me to call you that again. That’s just a solstice thing for today.

  2. cc

    If I ever face the death penalty, I hope I get the Monty Python death penalty alternative, in which case I am going to pick ‘getting smothered by Kate Upton’s breasts while Julianne Hough pins me down with her naked ass’.

  3. Kate Upton Bikini The Other Woman Screencaps
    Commented on this photo:

    Her breasts let slip the bonds of gravity and ascended into the heavens.

  4. Not enough black guys in the trailer. Nicki Minaj doesn’t count.

  5. Kate Upton Bikini The Other Woman Screencaps
    Commented on this photo:

    Stupid ads keep covering the juicy bits!

  6. Joe Benya

    Great news. All of us Jesus lovers can get get back to jerking off to Kate Upton. Like any good Christian, I’m careful to use tissues, because I don’t want to spill any seed or God will smite me, just like he smited Onan for jerking off.

    Oh yeah, don’t use your hands, ’cause the Bible says it cut off your hand if it causes you to sin.

    • I think Onan was banging his dead brother’s wife and he jizzed across her tits, pissing off god to no end.

      • Joe Benya

        According to Wikipedia:

        “A Church Father, Epiphanius of Salamis, and a number of scholars maintain that the story does not refer to masturbation, but to coitus interruptus, and that the Bible does not claim that masturbation would be sinful.”

        The Bible is a riot. You can jerk off all day long, but if you pull out and come on her tits, you are going to hell.

      • Joe Benya

        Postnote: According to Biblical Scholar Bukkake, you can jizz anywhere you want, as long as it’s not your dead brother’s wife.

      • My mom’s living room curtains disagree with you.

    • Satan's Right Hand

      Just don’t look back while doing it or you’ll end up like Lot’s wife. Nothing says awkward like a pillar of salt with a hard dong!

  7. Thank goodness for Kate Upton’s giant tits. I almost got myself involved in a discussion about the bigotry of a messed up country that isn’t my own country (Canada).

    Boobs are like Bacon, they both make everything better.

    • Jimmy

      And I’ve tried jamming my cock between ample portions of both, and let me tell you, bacon comes a distant second.

  8. Kate Upton Bikini The Other Woman Screencaps
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck-a-doodle-doo, she’s hot as fire.

    Yeah, yeah, she’s “fat.” Whateverthefuck. I’ll take this blonde American goddess every day of the week and twice from behind on Sunday.

    The rest of you are welcome to all the is-that-a-girl-or-a-pre-pubescent-boy girls you pedophile libidos can handle.

  9. Kate Upton Bikini The Other Woman Screencaps
    Commented on this photo:

    The video to this, if there is one, must be fucking amazing.

    Tits are just… They’re just the best. God, if you made those, you’re entitled to all the praise and worship and goat sacrifices you want. You earned it.

  10. Kate Upton Bikini The Other Woman Screencaps
    Commented on this photo:

    Kate Upton’s breasts and doughy midsection are a national treasure.

  11. BTW, that movie looks awful. Chicks will love it.

  12. anonymous

    Always said epic tits beat epic ass on a woman every time.

    Case in point: Kate Upton vs Kim Kardashian.

  13. Kate Upton Bikini The Other Woman Screencaps
    Commented on this photo:

    Those breasts are glorious. But they need to be topless to cleanse the palette after a whole comment section of hypocritical Phil Robertson defenders.

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