Shhh, shhh… It’s alright, it’s alright. No more Duck Dynasty posts for the rest of the day. Daddy’s here…
THE SUPERFICIAL | About • Facebook • Twitter
Thank U “daddy”.
Don’t expect me to call you that again. That’s just a solstice thing for today.
Isn’t it tomorrow though? Or is it part of the 12 days of Solstice?
If I ever face the death penalty, I hope I get the Monty Python death penalty alternative, in which case I am going to pick ‘getting smothered by Kate Upton’s breasts while Julianne Hough pins me down with her naked ass’.
Not enough black guys in the trailer. Nicki Minaj doesn’t count.
I feel guilty about these hetereosexual thoughts and this white woman. I feel like we need some black dong posts to show I”m tolerant.
Great news. All of us Jesus lovers can get get back to jerking off to Kate Upton. Like any good Christian, I’m careful to use tissues, because I don’t want to spill any seed or God will smite me, just like he smited Onan for jerking off.
Oh yeah, don’t use your hands, ’cause the Bible says it cut off your hand if it causes you to sin.
I think Onan was banging his dead brother’s wife and he jizzed across her tits, pissing off god to no end.
According to Wikipedia:
“A Church Father, Epiphanius of Salamis, and a number of scholars maintain that the story does not refer to masturbation, but to coitus interruptus, and that the Bible does not claim that masturbation would be sinful.”
The Bible is a riot. You can jerk off all day long, but if you pull out and come on her tits, you are going to hell.
Postnote: According to Biblical Scholar Bukkake, you can jizz anywhere you want, as long as it’s not your dead brother’s wife.
My mom’s living room curtains disagree with you.
Just don’t look back while doing it or you’ll end up like Lot’s wife. Nothing says awkward like a pillar of salt with a hard dong!
Thank goodness for Kate Upton’s giant tits. I almost got myself involved in a discussion about the bigotry of a messed up country that isn’t my own country (Canada).
Boobs are like Bacon, they both make everything better.
And I’ve tried jamming my cock between ample portions of both, and let me tell you, bacon comes a distant second.
BTW, that movie looks awful. Chicks will love it.
Always said epic tits beat epic ass on a woman every time.
Case in point: Kate Upton vs Kim Kardashian.
It’s not a zero sum equation. You can enjoy both without the exclusion of the other.
Commenting as a Guest
Sign in or Join.