Shhh, shhh… It’s alright, it’s alright. No more Duck Dynasty posts for the rest of the day. Daddy’s here…
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Thank U “daddy”.
Don’t expect me to call you that again. That’s just a solstice thing for today.
Isn’t it tomorrow though? Or is it part of the 12 days of Solstice?
If I ever face the death penalty, I hope I get the Monty Python death penalty alternative, in which case I am going to pick ‘getting smothered by Kate Upton’s breasts while Julianne Hough pins me down with her naked ass’.
Her breasts let slip the bonds of gravity and ascended into the heavens.
Not enough black guys in the trailer. Nicki Minaj doesn’t count.
I feel guilty about these hetereosexual thoughts and this white woman. I feel like we need some black dong posts to show I”m tolerant.
Stupid ads keep covering the juicy bits!
Great news. All of us Jesus lovers can get get back to jerking off to Kate Upton. Like any good Christian, I’m careful to use tissues, because I don’t want to spill any seed or God will smite me, just like he smited Onan for jerking off.
Oh yeah, don’t use your hands, ’cause the Bible says it cut off your hand if it causes you to sin.
I think Onan was banging his dead brother’s wife and he jizzed across her tits, pissing off god to no end.
According to Wikipedia:
“A Church Father, Epiphanius of Salamis, and a number of scholars maintain that the story does not refer to masturbation, but to coitus interruptus, and that the Bible does not claim that masturbation would be sinful.”
The Bible is a riot. You can jerk off all day long, but if you pull out and come on her tits, you are going to hell.
Postnote: According to Biblical Scholar Bukkake, you can jizz anywhere you want, as long as it’s not your dead brother’s wife.
My mom’s living room curtains disagree with you.
Just don’t look back while doing it or you’ll end up like Lot’s wife. Nothing says awkward like a pillar of salt with a hard dong!
Thank goodness for Kate Upton’s giant tits. I almost got myself involved in a discussion about the bigotry of a messed up country that isn’t my own country (Canada).
Boobs are like Bacon, they both make everything better.
And I’ve tried jamming my cock between ample portions of both, and let me tell you, bacon comes a distant second.
Fuck-a-doodle-doo, she’s hot as fire.
Yeah, yeah, she’s “fat.” Whateverthefuck. I’ll take this blonde American goddess every day of the week and twice from behind on Sunday.
The rest of you are welcome to all the is-that-a-girl-or-a-pre-pubescent-boy girls you pedophile libidos can handle.
The video to this, if there is one, must be fucking amazing.
Tits are just… They’re just the best. God, if you made those, you’re entitled to all the praise and worship and goat sacrifices you want. You earned it.
There is a video. Too bad about all the stuff in it that isn’t Kate Upton and her magnificent knockers.
Kate Upton’s breasts and doughy midsection are a national treasure.
BTW, that movie looks awful. Chicks will love it.
Always said epic tits beat epic ass on a woman every time.
Case in point: Kate Upton vs Kim Kardashian.
It’s not a zero sum equation. You can enjoy both without the exclusion of the other.
Those breasts are glorious. But they need to be topless to cleanse the palette after a whole comment section of hypocritical Phil Robertson defenders.
Don, it is titty-time now. Don’t make us ground you to the archive posts of Tara Ried in bikinis.
NO!!!!!!! I’ll be good.
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