The Whole World Has Pics of Kate Middleton and Prince William Doing Naked Stuff

September 17th, 2012 // 51 Comments
Duchess Of Nips
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“How did they know we were going to shag in this tree?”
“Just keep smiling.”

On Friday, French magazine Closer published, then immediately unpublished (I mentioned they’re French, right?) topless photos of Kate Middleton and also revealed they have pics of her doing Prince William. Pics that YouPorn has now offered to pay every single cent they have for because America may not want to live under British rule but we’ll gladly look at its nips. DON’T TREAD ON ME! TMZ reports:

TMZ obtained a letter, sent by the owner of YouPorn to the Editor of Closer Magazine — which published the topless pics of Kate.
In the letter, YouPorn honcho Corey Price says he wants to buy the “intimate footage” the Closer Editor has been yakking about. Price writes, “We feel very confident that we can show this footage legally, and would like to make you aware that we have an ‘open checkbook.’”

In the meantime, an Italian magazine is getting ready to publish 200 pics of Kate Middleton naked because apparently the Duke and Duchess’ idea of colonialism is to fuck each other on top of anything and everything. “Hear ye, hear ye! We hereby claim this hammock in the name of England. Let the Baron of Clorox Wipes perform his sacred duty as a welcome to its new majesty’s empire, and also a testament to how gamy this humid clime renders our royal anuses. We know not how you people live like this.”

Photos: Bauer-Griffin

superficial

  1. Dave ain't here, man

    Oooh, I wonder if they have pics of him being a Royal pain in her ass…

    • @Loise, you make $27h…good for you! I make up to $85h working from home. My story is that I quit working at shoprite to work online and with a little effort I easily bring in around $45h to $85h…heres a good example of what i’m doing,..http://Ace16.com

  2. grobpilot

    People slow to comment today?

  3. OOOOHHH– A married couple doing it. So what? But publishing pictures of that crosses the line completely. It is just Peeping Tom-ish and has no snarky gossip value. It just to make money by literally spying on others. Shame on anyone who publishes them.

    • qwerty

      I feel bad how people are so into invading a very private couple’s intimate moments to make money. Why can’t they stick to the ones who release their own sex tapes and nude pictures to get attention? This is way too disturbing.

      • Fah Kyu

        Uhhh, fucking in plain view, OUTSIDE, is not intimate. Morons fuck where paps can see them, they deserve to get plastered all over the tabloids. :D

  4. USDA Prime McBeef

    If I was part of the commonwealth and I paid taxes to support to the continued existence of an obsolete royal family, I would expect to be able to watch them fuck on BBC.

  5. Monkey Wrench

    I don’t care. This is why we have porn. If you want to watch others fuck at least watch professionals who know what they are doing.

  6. Gary Grant

    So we get grainy pictures of two people who may be royalty doing it? I think I’d rather see the Yankee Stadium bathroom bangfest.

  7. Jimbo

    And why doesn’t the Superficial post these picture?? Because you have turned into a corporate PUSSY…

    • I’ll get right on publishing the pics only an Italian magazine has and hasn’t published yet. Let me just hop into my little jet here and fly on over there to get them. And perhaps while I’m in the air, I’ll convince the Royal Family to stop suing everyone’s dick’s off, starting with people who don’t even own the copyrights to the pics in the first place and are just posting illegal scans. I’m sure they’ll work with me.

      • USDA Prime McBeef

        I thought you were saving up my click dollars for a boat. You have a jet?

      • Jimbo

        Finally I get a reaction out of you… There use to be topless pics on this site almost daily. it did not matter how bad they were. Back in the day you would have posted the topless pic of Kate, but now you tell us about the topless pic and post a pic of her hanging from a rope in a tree. And getting your dick sued off would only be a problem if you had one. You can use all the sarcasm you want, but you know this site has gone soft… I can only assume you were bought out by some big Corporation and they don’t want naked pics on the web site.

      • SugarTits

        That was mentioned on Friday, you’re late.

      • Jimbo

        Sugar Tits, I am not late. I have made comments about the fish dude turning into a big corporate pussy for a long time now. Today is the first time he has every replied. I guess Mrs. Fish forgot to take his balls back before he left the house this morning

      • kimmykimkim

        Jimbo, because you seem so averse to change, I’m going to assume you’re about 70 years old. And some old people need to be told that there is a WHOLE INTERNET out there that consists of more than just this site. If you don’t like this site anymore and want to see tits, go to google and type “tits”.

        If you’ve known this site’s been showing less tit for this long and you’ve had a problem with it for this long, then move on.

      • Sliver

        Tits are a renewable resource..cover them up, then take them out again…they’re ubiquitous, Jimbo. Find them at a store near you. :)

      • Shasta

        And The Superficial used to be under the radar and could get away with posting photos. There wouldn’t be a site if he was constantly getting sued. Quit bitching.

      • Jay

        Thank you Fish for explaining to everyone what’s going on, been following you for years and I am finally glad you responded to many people’s criticism that you aren’t a free topless peek show for guys at work in their cubicle.

  8. Prince William Kate Middleton Climb Trees
    Sandoucheky
    Commented on this photo:

    I see I’m not alone in having a hard time giving a shit about this whole scandal. This is secretary-level gossip, to be discussed over Berry Cosmo-Ritas at TGI Fridays.

    We want Miley getting buttplunged by Michael Lohan in the backseat of Amanda Bynes’ Tokemobile

  9. Trek Girl

    Fifteen months after the royal wedding, pictures of Prince William and Duchess Kate’s honeymoon were published in an Australian magazine. William and Kate honeymooned on an island in the Seychelles; they were told by the resort and assured by various newpapers that this honeymoon would be private and free of photographers. Pictures were taken anyway, probably by a tabloid photographer, from a very far distance. There wasn’t any nudity in those pictures or anything risque, just a happy couple on the beach – yet they were sold. They were, understandably, upset about this. I understand them not thinking that in the moment these new pictures were taken that there was indeed someone taking their picture, but what I do not understand is how they are surprised about this when it has basically happened already. I am not blaming them, I am merely questioning the rationale behind appearing nude or partially nude in the open, and she was in the open, when pictures have already been taken of you in a moment you thought was private.

    • Because those photos showed them walking on the beach. These photos potentially show them in a more intimate situation (wink, wink), which is really not in the public interest to see or know. I don’t think anyone’s sex life is (or should be) in the public interest or in the public domain.

      • Trek Girl

        Well, you may be right that those things shouldn’t be of interest to the public or in the public domain, but here’s the rub *holds for laughs*: they are a young, attractive and royal couple of the most famous royals today. What they do on their downtime, their sex life, everything royals do – especially the things we’re not supposed to know anything about – is what people want to know and see. Getting all up in the royals business is taboo, and that’s a big reason why people love it. Now there is the technology to just that – so we use it. It’s not good, but that’s how it is in many cases.

  10. Jack London's sober moment

    this would all be much more exciting if they weren’t marginally creepy low-res photos taken apparently from space, or with an enormous telescope. also–poor pancake boobies. what a shame.

  11. Privacy doesn’t exist anymore. Only the illusion of privacy.

  12. The Grammar Police

    Editing, Fish: “welcome to – it’s – new ” Its possessive has no apostrophe. It’s = it is or it has.

  13. El Jefe

    I hope they use Mi6 for what they are best at. These assholes have no respect for people’s privacy and this is over the line.

    • Trek Girl

      They were outside, reportedly in view of a road. Even if they were on private property, they were still visible to people. It sucks that they are going through this, but they are a couple that is known worldwide and, like I said in my comment above, have already been through a very similar situation, the only difference being that Kate was wearing a bikini top in the other pictures. The law might say otherwise, but if the person taking the picture was not on the private property that William and Kate were on and the arguement that any passerby, person in some elevated vehicle or structure, or neighbor could have taken pictures of her can be made, what can they really do about it other than acknowledge that they were outside in the open? They can sue, obviously, but the case for the photographer isn’t a weak one.

      • Shasta

        I think there’s a difference between “visible from a public road” and “visible from a public road if you use a long ass lens”. That and I’m pretty sure that the Brits have much stricter privacy laws than the US.

      • Trek Girl

        That may be, but they weren’t in the UK when this happened, and the Italian and French magazines are in Italy and France. They may have laws or a way of thinking that doesn’t favor the Prince and the Duchess and their privacy in this matter.

      • Shasta

        Very true. I don’t know about France and Italy’s privacy laws, but I was always under the impression that France’s were closer to the UK’s than ours. I could be very wrong though.

      • Trek Girl

        France does have laws in place that restrict the paparazzi, so the injunction ruling that is scheduled for Tuesday in France could very well come down in favor of Will and Kate.
        Italy, however, has laws that say that paparazzi can take photos from public property even if they are taking pictures of people on private property, according to the editor of Chi Magazine. This editor has no problem publishing those photos, and he intends to do so.

      • As a (supposedly) civilized society, we all must decide if “in public” includes a mile away with the Hubble telescope for a camera lens. If it does, we’re all doomed and your honeymoon where you’re doing something is fair game to end up on some schmuck’s Facebook page.

      • Trek Girl

        It is interesting that you mention space. For example, there have been photographs of people sun-bathing naked on their roof taken from Google earth. They weren’t inside with the blinds up, they weren’t in an indoor pool area that had big, glass windows; they were on their roof where anyone on the groud, in an elevated structure, on a nearby roof, or heck, sky diving could see them. When you are outside you don’t have a reasonable expectation of privacy – because you are outside. So, yes, if you are on your honeymoon and get down to the get-down, you just might be fair game if you are on public property, or on private property in view of public property. Just a bit of advice: don’t do exhibitionist activities and then get offended when people treat you as an exhibit. By the way, my comments about honeymooners in this comment are about honeymooners in general, not Will and Kate.

  14. SugarTits

    Wow the comments are worth reading tody, this is great…except for you sandoucheky, you scare me.

  15. Prince William Kate Middleton Climb Trees
    bo
    Commented on this photo:

    Will has a woody

  16. Prince William Kate Middleton Climb Trees
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Kate: Darling, when you said you were interested in Ewok sex, I didn’t think you would take it this far.
    William: Yub yub!
    Kate: Stop saying that!

  17. Bondage has never looked so lame.

  18. Frank Burns

    I don’t want to see British people naked, and I most certainly don’t want to see them having sex. Eeeww!!

  19. I would like to see nice, clear pictures of Kate in her birthday suit. Keep the “fuck” pix…I don’t want to see William doing to her what I’d like to be doing to her.

  20. Prince William Kate Middleton Climb Trees
    Commented on this photo:

    “Is everything about the size of my penis with you?”

  21. Prince William Kate Middleton Climb Trees
    Commented on this photo:

    “god dammit! can’t two celebrities have a wank in public without people taking pictures?”

  22. Prince William Kate Middleton Climb Trees
    Commented on this photo:

    This is going to be like the case of Pippa’s ass – looking for something that’s just not there.

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