The Whole World Has Pics of Kate Middleton and Prince William Doing Naked Stuff

By: The Superficial / September 17, 2012

“How did they know we were going to shag in this tree?”
“Just keep smiling.”

On Friday, French magazine Closer published, then immediately unpublished (I mentioned they’re French, right?) topless photos of Kate Middleton and also revealed they have pics of her doing Prince William. Pics that YouPorn has now offered to pay every single cent they have for because America may not want to live under British rule but we’ll gladly look at its nips. DON’T TREAD ON ME! TMZ reports:

TMZ obtained a letter, sent by the owner of YouPorn to the Editor of Closer Magazine — which published the topless pics of Kate.
In the letter, YouPorn honcho Corey Price says he wants to buy the “intimate footage” the Closer Editor has been yakking about. Price writes, “We feel very confident that we can show this footage legally, and would like to make you aware that we have an ‘open checkbook.'”

In the meantime, an Italian magazine is getting ready to publish 200 pics of Kate Middleton naked because apparently the Duke and Duchess’ idea of colonialism is to fuck each other on top of anything and everything. “Hear ye, hear ye! We hereby claim this hammock in the name of England. Let the Baron of Clorox Wipes perform his sacred duty as a welcome to its new majesty’s empire, and also a testament to how gamy this humid clime renders our royal anuses. We know not how you people live like this.”

Photos: Bauer-Griffin