The Duke and Duchess Grace America With Their Graceness

“We recolonize them at dawn. I’ll ready the churros.”

After their royal wedding distracted the world from America shooting Osama bin Laden in the face, the newly-named Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, Prince William and Kate Middleton, brought their North American visit to Los Angeles over the weekend where they gazed lovingly upon our fair ghettos and polo tournaments. They also rubbed elbows with the likes of Tom Hanks, Jennifer Lopez, David Beckham, Reese Witherspoon, who apparently brought Horny Patty from Hung, Brett Ratner (?) and even more random, Jennifer Love Hewitt who I’m just going to assume smelled the dinner rolls and hopped a fence.

KATE: And then this one woman walked up to William, declared she had three engagement rings picked out for him to choose from and then devoured an entire spiral ham before security ushered her out. It was most unusual.
MARY POPPINS: Mmm, quite. Spot of tea?
KATE: Indubitably.

Photo: Getty, INFdaily, Splash News