The Duke and Duchess Grace America With Their Graceness

July 11th, 2011 // 68 Comments

“We recolonize them at dawn. I’ll ready the churros.”

After their royal wedding distracted the world from America shooting Osama bin Laden in the face, the newly-named Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, Prince William and Kate Middleton, brought their North American visit to Los Angeles over the weekend where they gazed lovingly upon our fair ghettos and polo tournaments. They also rubbed elbows with the likes of Tom Hanks, Jennifer Lopez, David Beckham, Reese Witherspoon, who apparently brought Horny Patty from Hung, Brett Ratner (?) and even more random, Jennifer Love Hewitt who I’m just going to assume smelled the dinner rolls and hopped a fence.

KATE: And then this one woman walked up to William, declared she had three engagement rings picked out for him to choose from and then devoured an entire spiral ham before security ushered her out. It was most unusual.
MARY POPPINS: Mmm, quite. Spot of tea?
KATE: Indubitably.

Photo: Getty, INFdaily, Splash News

superficial

  1. Pippy Longcockings

    I wonder if they actually fuck?

  2. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood
    DOucHe BaGELs
    Commented on this photo:

    William: “OMG Kate did you hear that fart? It’s soo going to stink any second now”

  3. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood
    Satan's bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    “Do what? Wear it on my head? Oh, hahahahaha! You Yanks are so amusing!”

  4. hope we get more coverage of lady amelia soon, she’s actually hot! her bday was yesterday (officially pushing 20). dude’s is today (officially pushing 50). in honour of our shared birthday border i rubbed one to her last night at midnight, it was a sweet gesture i thought. next year i’d like to make it a creampie in person. skip the tea, let’s get straight to the crumpet!

  5. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood
    Commented on this photo:

    aww ta for present, dear!
    too right–it’s a toupee, luv.

  6. Cock Dr

    It’s a shame the Yanks let him win that polo game. Like a part time player can score a bunch of goals against America’s best. They laid back to please the crowd that coughed up all that $$. Shoulda kicked his ass & copped multiple feels on the duchess…that’s how we do it here in the land of the free.

    • meh

      WIN!
      Althoguh there ain’t much to cop a feel of I do concur and how douchy is your life when your precious ego has been so cauddled all you life by people losing just to please your royal ass?
      I hope he fully balds soon, it’s mother nature’s way of remind him that royal don’t mean shit in the grand scheme.

  7. Jane Fondas taint

    Why are they sitting with a bunch of anchor babies?

    Were we trying to make them feel like they are back in England in the middle of their immigration crisis entitled The” muslim takeover” aka “a shitstorm?”

    Or were we just showing them that we have an influx of them too, just not stuck back to prehistoric times like theirs are?

  8. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood Reese Witherspoon
    BSting
    Commented on this photo:

    Jennifer Love Hewitt, deep undercover in purple, attempts to sneak out all the wafers on her purse.

  9. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood
    mnsuperbee
    Commented on this photo:

    “Okay, so when the music starts we get up and run around the chairs until it stops, THEN we fight over the last chair, so put your lunch box down and don’t worry your hair will be fine. We won’t be moving THAT fast”

  10. When did Beeker from the Muppetts become British Royalty?

    And that chick he is with is nothing but a party girl with a hard on for royalty. I wonder how long before she is banging some polo player.

    the hottest royal piece of ass belongs to that ugly dude from Monaco. But then again if you are the son of Grace Kelly, you can bang a bunch of black whores and have illegitimate kids with them and hotties like that beauty from South Africa will still marry you and tolerate it.

    Life is good.

  11. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood BAFTAs Jennifer Lopez
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    “So I do this show called American Idol, and it’s very popular here. Maybe you can have somebody over there start a British version.”

  12. chev70

    Can’t you keep them over there, please? You can pay your taxes to keep them in castles, instead of us.

    Parasites!

  13. Brett Ratner? JLH? Wow, the crème-de-la-crème really showed up, huh? What, Casey Anthony was busy?

  14. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood
    dude@left
    Commented on this photo:

    Why the long face?

  15. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood BAFTAs Jennifer Lopez
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    “…and if I went over there to show you English what a real booty looks like, they’d stop ogling your sister.”

  16. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood
    Respect
    Commented on this photo:

    “Did I stutter? Ho, make me a crumpet!”

  17. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Tall & very very slender….she’s built for the role of ambulatory clothes rack.

  18. “We recolonize them at dawn. I’ll ready the churros.”

    Your original opening was much funnier Fish. What gives?

  19. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood
    Johnny Pepper
    Commented on this photo:

    Much better looking than her sister!

  20. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood
    Johnny Pepper
    Commented on this photo:

    “Thoz royal people think they so trendy. Ima gonna wear ma matchin’ sun glasses and phone, show ‘em whoz trendy!”

  21. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood BAFTAs Jennifer Lopez
    meh
    Commented on this photo:

    So THIS is the outfit she chose to meet the future King and Queen of England in? Haha keep it classy J-Ho.

  22. FruitLoop

    The prince needs a kings ransom worth of Rogain and Propecia. There’s no reason to let yer hair go if you don’t want it to.

  23. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    “Thank you love, but did you know there’s a Tiffany’s just a stone’s throw from Buckingham Palace? I’ll take you there when we get back.”

  24. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why are all those photographers pointing their cameras at my knees?”

  25. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood David Beckham
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    “Harper Seven? Really?”

  26. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood BAFTAs Tom Hanks Rita Wilson Nicole Kidman
    Seat Filler
    Commented on this photo:

    Nicole: ‘ I ate 5 rice crackers today”

  27. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood David Beckham
    Seat Filler
    Commented on this photo:

    Come here Willy give me a hug and I’ll show you what they really mean by Bend it like Beckham

  28. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood
    Tracey
    Commented on this photo:

    William: “These children are quite poor you know, and they have no idea who we are.”
    Kate: “Then why the bloody hell are we here? They all smell like beans.”

  29. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, this doesn’t taste at all like the moccasins.”

  30. MrsPlant

    I will never be able to quit this site and all the time it wastes as long as Fish keeps writing those British dialogues. Too fucking funny.

  31. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood Reese Witherspoon
    DJjazzyJESS
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh Reese! My mates say I do a fantastic impression of you. Hold on…aw bugger, I- can’t- quite- get it out far enough.”

  32. Curious Troll

    LIFE IS GOOD WHEN YOU LIVE OFF THE SUCKER TAX PAYER! On a side note, fuck these cunts.

    • Guest

      You’re really bragging about how the US does’t pay very much taxes? Um … have you been to Europe? They pay lots of taxes but everywhere is NICE, and they have good healthcare and schools. Their cities and towns don’t look run down and disgusting.
      I’m Canadian and was recently in the states for a visit … I was SHOCKED! I’m more than happy to pay my taxes (which are not as high as in europe). I would never, ever live in the states. I’d rather die.

      • Curious Troll

        I see your point which was very well articulated, but on the other hand FUCK THESE CUNTS.

      • Patty Duke

        Thank the American God. Ignorant panty wastes that “dont mind” paying taxes are the last people America needs.

        And by all means, dont visit either. We have enough of your toques, glass bottom boats, honey, Rush albums and pasty white beady eyed yetis with stupid accents as it is.

        Thanks hoser.

      • Burt

        I’d love for Canada to get rid of the monarchy. Yes, I’m Canadian.

  33. kimmykimkim

    “Indubitably” is indubitably my new favorite word. See? I couldn’t help myself….just one more time: Indubitably! Damn that’s fun!

  34. KOOL GUY

    !!THERE JOYFUL!”SMILE REMINES ME OF THE BAHAMAS!:;;WHEATHER!””””BEA’HAPPY SUMMER TO !THE AWESOEME ROYAL::COUPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

  35. Curious Troll

    They are royalty because God shit them out his asshole. They should have lived back in good ol’ 1789 France. They would have had a “jolly good time”!

  36. meh

    It is utterly revolting to see these too cool for school phony self righteous twat celebs kissing royal ass. Who the fuck are the royals? I mean truly what have they accomplished? There are many incredibly admirable great people that would deserve a little attention, like veterans, great kids like Beener Kiki, fire fighters etfuckingcetera… But all this couple of twats have done is based on dumb fucking luck (litterally), no actual hard work. The bald one fell out of the right vag (mommy fucked the right man) and the brunette one screwed the right dude, real fucking impressive. I wish the royals and celebs would all just get sucked up their own a-holes and disappear to some other dimension.

    Celebs can barely give other people the time of day yet they are all clamoring to meet the rolays. Pathetic loosers, guess they are in awe of someone who is famous through some sick birthright and along with wifey has an actual education, since most celebs are white trash loosers with zero education whose only talent is playing makebelieve like that creepy weird kid down the street that no one wanted to play with.

    I wonder if they all got kleenex filed swag bags to wipe off their shit covered noses.

    • Burt

      I’m no monarchist, but my friend went to university with Prince William and he told me he’s actually a very nice and considerate guy. To quote him, “He’s the kind of guy who holds the door for others”.

  37. meh

    Great so do lots of people. I don’t see the world clamouring to kiss the asses of all the nice men I know who hold doors open for people. No one is better than anyone else and especially not because of some trivial uncontrable factor liek who your Mommy and Daddy are. It’s not healthy for society to get caught up in this kind of pretentious shit, there are more important things to care about. The monarchy needs to be abolished and their precious castles and estates can be turned into museams where events can be held so as to not loose the royal revenue. If William has any deceny at all he will abolish it and turn their history over to public by way of museams, but I GUARANTEE he is not nice or considerate enoguh to do that.

    • Patty Duke

      @ meh

      Ahhh, re-distribution of wealth and power…a play straight out of the lazy, american afro-centric playbook. Sharpton has taught you well ex-slave. Either that or your white guilt consumes you so much that you feel the need to let everyone know your inner turmoil.

      STFU and get over it. It takes leaders (or those smart enough to be called so) to make things happen or else with people like you, wed still be rolling in shit, fucking our relatives and having patchouli based anti tribal war gatherings (oh wait, did I just describe that shithole of san fran?)

      Hes done more than you for the world and has served several tours of duty in Afghanistan. Meanwhile, you sit in your probable government subsidized apartment in squalor, working some meaningless minimum wage job (you know, the kind, like ALL minimum wage jobs, that was intended for a 16 yr old to learn the workforce, not some loser to live off of because he didnt think about his/ her future and plan for it) that you hate but are too lazy or stupid to do anything about.

      Some people are WAY better than others. Some are just born better, some do things that make them better and some end up that way by accident.

      No worries though troll, theyre all better than you appear to be.

      • meh

        Your post says so much more about you than me. You couldn’t be more wrong and have no idea what I contribute, or what kind of family I come from or what I have accomplished, but thanks for giving us all a clue about what kind of trash you are and come from. By the way I’m European not American dumbass, but I guess a person of your education level assumes everyone on the internet is American.

        Now go worship some useless idol instead of accomplishing things with your own life.

    • Leonidas

      You really don’t know what you’re talking about – but then again, with the spelling ability of a ten-year-old, none of us expected you to.

  38. Jen

    Lol ahhhhhh…Mary Poppins. Didnt see it coming. Love it.

  39. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood Reese Witherspoon
    Anna
    Commented on this photo:

    hm..Reese looks fat standing next to Kate

  40. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Noel
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks the cat who ate kate middleton…er…the canary.

  41. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood Reese Witherspoon
    wautic
    Commented on this photo:

    O, my God.
    She is just ugly and old. If no beauty, money couldn’t help

  42. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood
    wautic
    Commented on this photo:

    So ugly and old.

  43. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood
    wautic
    Commented on this photo:

    ugly kaity-w..
    actually it,s funny how media could be the hypocrite

  44. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood
    telo
    Commented on this photo:

    too handsome prince williams could not get a cute and young girl!! coz that ugly one is a gold digger and does everything he says i think he married her!! sad

  45. Kate Middleton Prince William Los Angeles Hollywood
    telo
    Commented on this photo:

    too ugly!! just a thought

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