Kate Middleton’s (Probably) Pregnant

December 7th, 2011 // 31 Comments
Her Majesty's Bikini
Kate Middleton Bikini
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Through thickest cervix, and blackest ovary,
No pregnant womb shall escape my sight.. ary.

Seen here leaving a concert in London last night, Kate Middleton has been the subject of rampant pregnancy rumors, and conveniently carrying her clutch in front of her stomach like they taught her in Princess School has the British papers aflutter demanding a urinary sample post haste! (My sources tell me Rupert Murdoch is inside her uretha as we speak.) Of course, unlike a certain cabal of whoresassins who’ll shill a pregnancy five seconds after missing their period if it suits their whore-purposes, Kate not only has to make sure she makes the proper announcement after the first trimester, but should she miscarry, by law the queen can force her to wrestle her strongest chambermaid. From there, it’s off to the horse stables where Kate must successfully birth a centaur or be forever trapped in the Teapot of Unrequited Dreams, for such are the rules of Parliament.

Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News


  1. Do_Freebird

    kate is (probably) pregnant
    and I (definitely) don’t care.
    Now where are those old pictures of her tits and ass.

  2. Sensei John Kreese

    Thou dost not pulleth outteth.

  3. Harry Houdini


  4. Harry Houdini


  5. mrsmass

    i highly doubt that walking skeleton even menstruates.

    • geri doll

      LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOO FUNNY.

    • Reece

      Only and insecure overweight person would call her a skeleton. She’s the normal weight of someone who’s diet does not consist of BigMacs and “diet” coke.

      • Nuh uh

        Wow. Normal weight? I don’t think 170 cm+ tall people should weigh 40 something kilos.

      • Reece

        170cm is 5.5 feet and 40kilos is 88lb…she’s about 5’10 and about 130lb+…tall people generally distribute their weight differently and look like they weigh less than they actually do. A normal weight for someone her height is 125-150lb (I’m 5’9, I’ve looked it up quite a few times)…obviously she’s on the thin side but not a skeleton.

    • gee gee

      haa haa nice one

  6. Frank Burns

    Its difficult to get interested in any story that involves British people having sex. Eeewww!

  7. Schmidtler

    So, what do you do for a living? Me, oh I sneak around behind the royal family with a camera, hoping for a gust of wind so I can get a picture of Kate Middleton’s ass. Classy!

  8. LJ

    She and Katy Perry are just yanking Fish’s chain to see if he”’ publish the story…….lol….They gottcha.

  9. Oh good. This means I can finally have a reason to live.

  10. Terry

    Those greedy ass blue bloods are at it again. Anything too stay in power. Why haven’t the people kicked those fucking free loaders out already!

  11. cc

    Well, look on the bright side…if ever there was a bloodline that needed some fresh genes, the Windsors are it.

  12. texturefarts

    Well the choices are, hang out in the castle and do nothing or fuck…Fuck? Oh jolly good!

  13. Kate Middleton Pregnant Prince William
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice pins.

  14. Kate Middleton Pregnant Prince William
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why yes, that is AXE Body Spray that I’m wearing.”

  15. If Kate ever gets pregnant, the poor zygote won’t stand a chance. That starving body will suck the poor thing dry of nutrients in seconds.

  16. Kate Middleton Pregnant Prince William
    Commented on this photo:

    “Well, it looks like I’ll be needing someone else to shag for the next seven months… Ladies?”

  17. kellyduval

    If Kate is pregnant, it will be the talk of the new year! I hope she is so that everyone can celebrate and a little Highness is born! I love Kate and I hope the best!

  18. forrest gump

    these things happen when you’re sleeping in one bed, NAIVE AMERICA!!

    • Harry

      Really, I thought that they both have their own rooms, or that they have two small, kid sized, single beds. That’s usually how the Royals live.

  19. Reece

    Didn’t she learn anything from Teen Mom? Young parents never work out. How can they even afford diapers at their ag–dhguqwihads/…

    *Sorry Dr Drew just bum-rushed my desk with an MTV crew in tow. *

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