And so the royal Duchess of Cambridge did alight from her air carriage to show the young Prince George his expanding New Zealand empire where he would soon christen his Parliamentary Bird Flipping Regiment: Self Fornication Division. But first, the young prince had other matters at hand, namely using his psychic abilities to display the royal knickers to the commoners who greeted them at the tarmac, and a jolly good fun was had by all. Until the fires started. The dreadful, dreadful fires. Awful business that was.