Kate Middleton Might Be Having Twins
Now that the world knows Prince William has performed his royal duty of inseminating Kate Middleton while wielding Excalibur, here comes the inevitable speculation of how many things might fall out of her vagina and in what order because it’s about to get all Game of Thrones up in here. People reports:
According to the National Institutes of Health, the Duchess’s rare condition tends to appear more often in women carrying twins.
So what would it mean for the royal family if Kate, 30 – who was discharged from the hospital Thursday – were to deliver two little royals? A pair of heirs?
Nope, royal experts tell PEOPLE. In fact, it’s all a bit complicated.
The firstborn twin would have a completely different path than his or her sibling, says royal historian Robert Lacey, author of The Queen: A Life in Brief: “The first child to appear will have precedence. Whichever one comes out first will be the heir – and it will be the call of the obstetrician if there is a caesarean section.”
Okay, so that sounds pretty cut and dry if it’s two boys. First one out gets the throne while the second one is shafted the rest of his life because his mom’s uterus made him ride coach. Life’s a bitch. But what if Princess Kate sharts out a boy and a girl? That’s where Parliament gets involved because it has nothing better to do with its time:
A year ago, the British government voted to modernize the rule of succession so that in the event of twins, a firstborn girl would not lose the title of heir if a boy were to be subsequently born to the royal couple. But that rule hasn’t been implemented yet.
Under the current law of the land, says Lacey, “If the twins are a girl first followed by a boy, the boy will be next in succession.”
When or if the law is changed, adds Lacey, “the boy would be ousted by his sister.”
Christ, no wonder these people stick to incest. It’s way easier that way. “Alright, listen, there’s a simple solution to all this: We’ll just bang each other. I get to be king, you get to be queen, everyone wins. Except our children. They’ll have flippers.”