Obligatory Royal Wedding Post

“My word, it has ears like your father…”

So by Royal Wedding, I actually meant five-year-old photos of Kate Middleton in a bikini, and possibly the first time she saw the royal scepter. Because if there was ever an acceptable time to say, “I don’t give a fuck, this is ‘Murika,” this is it. Granted, it doesn’t have the same pizazz as bombing brown people who worship a strange, yet still Abrahamic god, the British do read a lot and have socialized medicine. Plus they call soccer “football.”

Photos: Pacific Coast News