When her uterus isn’t directly causing crazed gunmen to hold the Discovery Channel building hostage, Kate Gosselin secretly pines for a strapping man in the law enforcement profession to rough her kids up before discharging his sidearm into her wanting perp. (Police erotica: Catch it!) Us Magazine reports:
At an Emmys after-party in L.A. on Sunday, the reality mom told a fellow reveler what kind of man she’s looking for: “a tough guy, like a cop, to whip my kids into shape,” Kate, 35 said. Someone, the divorced Kate Plus 8 star added, “who can handle my situation.”
And by her situation she means recklessly not choosing a selective reduction or she wouldn’t get as much free gifts as those sextuplets in Ohio. Oh, you didn’t know? That’s what this whole thing was always about. After Kate shat out her brood, she went on a rampage making sure she scored all the “freebies” her birth canal rightfully deserved. Except, surprise, you actually have to raise all those kids – or at least occasionally trip over them – even if you’re on Dancing with the Stars. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’d probably ixnay the whipping talk after it’s been reported you pay your ex-husband hush money not to call child services. Or, no, wait, maybe I’m saying, I love kicking children around the house like soccer balls. Whichever one ends with me seeing Kate’s breasts then weeping for five days from shame and regret. It’s that one.
Photos: INFdaily
dudeatdudedotdude | September 2, 2010 at 4:42 pm
jesus christ–drooooop much?
Sheena | September 2, 2010 at 5:22 pm
She ought to be ashamed. It ain’t right, it just .. ain’t .. right.
WowzersTrowzers | September 2, 2010 at 8:03 pm
she’s gotta keep her kneecaps warm somehow. And those shoes are GAWD AWFUL! They are successfully transforming her foot into a hoof.
HLM | September 3, 2010 at 10:22 am
Someone needs to tell her that tube tops make her boobs look like ski slopes. Hey wait…Jon did like to ski & snowboard an awful lot….Hmmmmm….
Boy Down Assholes | September 3, 2010 at 2:24 pm
Christ, with the amount of kids she had, that’s coralled. They should be hanging down to her knees. Thank God for plastic surgery.
Georgeo | September 2, 2010 at 4:44 pm
She’s back with Jon? He’s pumping her gas.
JR | September 2, 2010 at 4:52 pm
That’s not Jon Gosselin. That’s just some random fattie. I could tell by the distinct lack of Ed Hardy glitter smother the hapless tangerine bystander.
And knowing is half the battle.
JR | September 2, 2010 at 4:54 pm
Let’s try that again, this time with grammar.
I could tell that wasn’t Jon Gosseling by the fact that our tangerine bystander was NOT smothered in Ed Hardy crap.
Apparently, the other half of the battle is correct execution. Blah.
Georgeo | September 2, 2010 at 5:07 pm
I was referring to pic 6.
OH WAIT that’s not Jon. It’s Kate.
I’d still hit it.
Mike Hawk | September 2, 2010 at 4:47 pm
god shes tacky.
Looks like she buys her clothes at Wal-Mart in the la round-a senorita section.
Ann | September 2, 2010 at 5:23 pm
LOLOL la round-a.
Kinky Bitch | September 2, 2010 at 4:50 pm
I know this is like pleading with fire not to ignite gas, but I posted my own email by mistake and am humbly requesting everyone to ignore it, don’t send me viagra offers or dick pics. I don’t want to see your throbbing whatever.
frisbeeken | September 2, 2010 at 4:55 pm
They had mercy on you
sobrietyisacrutch | September 2, 2010 at 5:00 pm
If you ask really nicely, perhaps the Fish will delete it for you.
(Hopefully before school lets out)
sobrietyisacrutch | September 2, 2010 at 5:01 pm
Oh good!
frisbeeken | September 2, 2010 at 4:51 pm
That is so sexy when chicks wear those tops that squeeze their tits into that little halter top area. It’s like your unwrapping a package at Christmas when you pull those puppies out. If I was a cop I’d play it real cool, use her for whatever she had money-wise, bang the fuckin shit out her, leave her in the hotel I made her pay for and never acknowledge her again.
McFeely Smackup | September 2, 2010 at 5:00 pm
yeah, it’s like unwrapping a christmas present and finding that the G.I. Joe with kung-Fu grip that you wanted so bad was actually two blobs of silicone goo that were stuffed into stretch-marked and veiny sacks of leathery skin, with a screeching medusa head perched on top.
Ever notice that when chicks just HAVE to get breast implants to fix the disgusting results of multiple child births, they always seem to have to go to a D+ cup for some reason.
Glenn Beck's Eyeballs | September 2, 2010 at 5:11 pm
I hope you’re kidding Fris
She looks like an old milk cow that’s about to be shot in the head by the farmer.
Mohammed's Taint | September 2, 2010 at 5:42 pm
Too bad this isn’t my home country. She would have been stoned to death long before being able to whore it up in the public eye and bringing children into her perverted web.
shine | September 2, 2010 at 4:56 pm
that dress is awful those shoes are meh at best but they don’t even go well with aforementioned awful dress which makes this whole outfit extra sucky.
dudeatdudedotdude | September 2, 2010 at 4:56 pm
/b/’s been closed for awhile
dudeatdudedotdude | September 2, 2010 at 5:17 pm
ignore–was for Kinky earlier…
Frobz | September 2, 2010 at 4:58 pm
Why does she always look like she took a shit and it got stuck?
WowzersTrowzers | September 2, 2010 at 8:01 pm
I love it that she always has the SURPRISE! face set in place. If she has any more procedures done her ears are gonna be touching.
Peanutty | September 2, 2010 at 5:26 pm
Good gravy. Minney Mouse is missing her shoes. Those dogs are barking!
Any Guy | September 2, 2010 at 5:40 pm
her va-jayjay must look like someone dropped a veal parm on the ground. disgusting woman, out and in.
M | September 2, 2010 at 5:54 pm
She’s the east coast hillbilly version of Britney Spears. Looks like her, is trash like her, can’t dress for SHIT like her, and she’s washed up and nearly forgotten like her. I know a cop she should hook up with… Drew Peterson. Fuck her.
dudeatdudedotdude | September 2, 2010 at 6:00 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHA very nice :DD
F2 | September 2, 2010 at 9:14 pm
This old bitch is trying to be Britney with the extensions but she can’t pull it off,
Tony Y | September 2, 2010 at 5:56 pm
Dear Kate,
BUY A BRA.
Love,
Everyone
skippy | September 2, 2010 at 6:15 pm
she is a disgusting, worthless, good for nothing piece of shit whore.
Hairy Knuckles | September 3, 2010 at 4:40 pm
So tell us how you really feel.
phillyb | September 2, 2010 at 6:24 pm
You guys will kick my ass if I say that I think her legs and behind look good, especially in photo 6, and if I tell you that I think she has a cute face when she is made up and smiles, so I won’t go there. I’m an old man and my eyes are going, and she only smile once every leap year.
Peanutty | September 2, 2010 at 6:57 pm
You can clean up a oil spill too phillyb, but don’t look under the surface.
Jake_Ryan | September 2, 2010 at 7:10 pm
I can’t help it. I wanna bang her like a drum. Sorry, but I think she’s way hot and would be totally appreciative of a good grudge fuck. Again, my apologies to the universe.
Jake_Ryan2.0 | September 2, 2010 at 7:26 pm
I second that, I’d give her the “baby arm”
scandalous | September 2, 2010 at 7:56 pm
why are we looking at some old fat bitch who mothered a billion kids? fuck please
swan | September 2, 2010 at 11:05 pm
I don’t know why she thinks she can pretend she doesn’t have 8 kids. Dressing that way doesn’t trick anyone into thinking she’s childless. Her kids must be cringing. Once mom used to look like a mom, now she’s trying to look 25 and FAILING.
It’s a pretty hurtin’ scenario. I’d rather wear mom jeans and tote my kids around than be trying so hard it hurts.
rich | September 3, 2010 at 12:01 am
Kate gosseln is a sexy fucking milf now. It was ok to make fun of her a while back but now she’s got the tan, the legs, the hair, the tits, if you don’t think she’s hot now you’re either gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that) or you’re one of those guys who says stuff you heard people you think are cool say, and you just keep saying it because its the only thing you have to offer that you think might make other people think you’re cool since you thought the person who said it was cool. Wow youre trying way too hard to get people to think you might possibly be cool. Loser. She’s smoking hot. Period
captain america | September 3, 2010 at 6:27 am
…………her tits are crying now, folks?
Chris | September 3, 2010 at 9:39 am
Please. No cop in his right mind would go with this freak. And if one did, I would hope that SHE would catch a beating first.
omayra | September 4, 2010 at 10:40 am
I can’t believe that she is calling for a man to beat up her kids. What an awful mother. Instead of looking for a good guy that would help her raise those kids she is asking for a child abuser. Wow. I am a single mom, and there is no way I would let a man abuse my son. I rather be alone.
again | September 3, 2010 at 10:07 am
I just want to take those fucking ugly shoes and throw them at her bitch face. She always looks like she’s about to rip someone a new asshole. And she’s raising EIGHT fucking kids. Eight little conflicted children that will grow up to have issues and anger problems. Great.
Greg H. | September 3, 2010 at 11:26 am
Wait. You mean she hasn’t eaten those kids yet?
LACoolKid | September 3, 2010 at 12:26 pm
Proof, that plastic surgery, spray tans and a abysmal amount of fame can only take you so far in the wardrobe department. Everyone needs to google Kate before the show. GROSS! She was a hillbilly!
Hairy Knuckles | September 3, 2010 at 4:29 pm
On my best night I barely make 6 inches but if I was one of those those guys that can sling around a big fat 9 inch keobosa , I’d throw her around, spread her meaty flanks apart, and drive my unlubed love torpedo up her temperature taking portal.
That’s what I would do…If I could.
jules | September 3, 2010 at 10:27 pm
What the F is she wearing?
captain america | September 4, 2010 at 1:17 am
I’m very sorry this is the united states………………
(btw: abandon the dress)
Taylor Sorenson | September 7, 2010 at 4:02 pm
She looks like she would have a mean and nasty odor “down there”.