Kate Gosselin Wants a Cop to Beat Her Kids. And Her Heart…

September 2nd, 2010 // 15 Comments

When her uterus isn’t directly causing crazed gunmen to hold the Discovery Channel building hostage, Kate Gosselin secretly pines for a strapping man in the law enforcement profession to rough her kids up before discharging his sidearm into her wanting perp. (Police erotica: Catch it!) Us Magazine reports:

At an Emmys after-party in L.A. on Sunday, the reality mom told a fellow reveler what kind of man she’s looking for: “a tough guy, like a cop, to whip my kids into shape,” Kate, 35 said. Someone, the divorced Kate Plus 8 star added, “who can handle my situation.”

And by her situation she means recklessly not choosing a selective reduction or she wouldn’t get as much free gifts as those sextuplets in Ohio. Oh, you didn’t know? That’s what this whole thing was always about. After Kate shat out her brood, she went on a rampage making sure she scored all the “freebies” her birth canal rightfully deserved. Except, surprise, you actually have to raise all those kids – or at least occasionally trip over them – even if you’re on Dancing with the Stars. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’d probably ixnay the whipping talk after it’s been reported you pay your ex-husband hush money not to call child services. Or, no, wait, maybe I’m saying, I love kicking children around the house like soccer balls. Whichever one ends with me seeing Kate’s breasts then weeping for five days from shame and regret. It’s that one.

Photos: INFdaily


  1. swan

    I don’t know why she thinks she can pretend she doesn’t have 8 kids. Dressing that way doesn’t trick anyone into thinking she’s childless. Her kids must be cringing. Once mom used to look like a mom, now she’s trying to look 25 and FAILING.
    It’s a pretty hurtin’ scenario. I’d rather wear mom jeans and tote my kids around than be trying so hard it hurts.

  2. rich

    Kate gosseln is a sexy fucking milf now. It was ok to make fun of her a while back but now she’s got the tan, the legs, the hair, the tits, if you don’t think she’s hot now you’re either gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that) or you’re one of those guys who says stuff you heard people you think are cool say, and you just keep saying it because its the only thing you have to offer that you think might make other people think you’re cool since you thought the person who said it was cool. Wow youre trying way too hard to get people to think you might possibly be cool. Loser. She’s smoking hot. Period

  3. Kate Gosselin
    Commented on this photo:

    umm..is that winnie the pooh on her ankle?

    i find that a little creepy.

  4. captain america

    …………her tits are crying now, folks?

  5. Kate Gosselin
    Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    fuck you spammer. nobody wants your shit, so go and fucking die.

  6. Chris

    Please. No cop in his right mind would go with this freak. And if one did, I would hope that SHE would catch a beating first.

    • omayra

      I can’t believe that she is calling for a man to beat up her kids. What an awful mother. Instead of looking for a good guy that would help her raise those kids she is asking for a child abuser. Wow. I am a single mom, and there is no way I would let a man abuse my son. I rather be alone.

  7. again

    I just want to take those fucking ugly shoes and throw them at her bitch face. She always looks like she’s about to rip someone a new asshole. And she’s raising EIGHT fucking kids. Eight little conflicted children that will grow up to have issues and anger problems. Great.

  8. Greg H.

    Wait. You mean she hasn’t eaten those kids yet?

  9. LACoolKid

    Proof, that plastic surgery, spray tans and a abysmal amount of fame can only take you so far in the wardrobe department. Everyone needs to google Kate before the show. GROSS! She was a hillbilly!

  10. Hairy Knuckles

    On my best night I barely make 6 inches but if I was one of those those guys that can sling around a big fat 9 inch keobosa , I’d throw her around, spread her meaty flanks apart, and drive my unlubed love torpedo up her temperature taking portal.

    That’s what I would do…If I could.

  11. jules

    What the F is she wearing?

  12. captain america

    I’m very sorry this is the united states………………
    (btw: abandon the dress)

  13. Taylor Sorenson

    She looks like she would have a mean and nasty odor “down there”.

  14. Kate Gosselin
    Commented on this photo:

    I truely hate this woman. She is so fake, she treats her kids like shit, I don’t watch the show anymore because really it is all about her and she’s just so damn annoying. TLC get a clue!

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