While Octomom has embraced her inevitable place in the world after sharting out 14 mouths to feed, Kate Gosselin is still deluding herself into thinking she can escape a similar fate by pitching a dating reality show where she tries to find a poor sucker who’s willing to endure a never-ending tsunami of shrill nagging for one night of missionary style sex a month. Provided he’s properly stored her army of Asian children in their respective Tupperware sleeping stations, of course. E! News reports:
“She is ready to get back into the dating game,” a source tells us. “She is ready to find love again and to move on from her past. She’s excited, this is a chance to start something new.”
“She finds it hard to meet men in her day to day life,” the source continued, “and so a dating show will give her exactly the help she needs. She is willing to travel around the country in order to meet Mr. Right.”
“She’ll even leave her children for long stretches of time, that’s how dedicated she is. In fact, should the need to arise, she’s open to putting them in sort of ‘care’ where their needs are ‘fostered.’ Or perhaps have someone offer her a sum of money in exchanage for putting the children in tiny tuxedos and/or coveralls where they’ll use their skills in food preparation and automotive repair to tend to your household provided you tell them she died in a car accident and not to look for a body. Or whatever you’re comfortable with. She’s a true professional.”
Photos: INFdaily
She still feels that she’s relevant enough that people will give a shit? Talk about narcissistic.
I’ve never written a personals ad, but I’m willing to go to bat for this wacky coupon blogger. Let’s see:
“White 37yo nagging harpy bit… um, female seeks wealthy sucker to provide for her litter of chi… er, romantic, family-minded man for…”
Ah, fuck it. Roget himself couldn’t put enough polish on this turd.
Lol!
You forgot to add: My children are my life and they will be yours /shotgun FX
Given who she is and the fact that this will be a “reality” show, Flavor Flav seems like a likely “winner.”
Forget it. Even Flav has higher standards than this.
She needs to put a few more air holes in that “car seat” before she drops that off at Fed-Ex.
I can think of a type of man that would date her. It starts with “ped,” ends with “phile.” Oh wait, they probably couldn’t stand her either.
“Wait, are these the boys or the girls?”
“Nice try, Jon. I’d recognize that gut anywhere.”
What a useless douche!! I always knew the kids were left behind once the cameras were off her! Another fake, worthless “mother” for the sake of fame. Stop being a cunt and maybe someone would like you, dipshit – even with the 27 kids or whatever the fuck the number is now. I suppose you are going to blame the kids for your lack of a soul for attracting another (sucker) mate. I don’t know how Jon could have stomached this bitch as long as he did. GO THE FUCK AWAY KATE – YOU ARE A DRAIN ON ALL THAT IS GOOD AND RIGHT IN THE WORLD!!!!
Can women be douches?
There are a few rare cases of female douchebaggery. Ashlee Simpson falls into that category for the shitty name she gave her son.
i would like to see her get laid…..into a vat of acid.
WOW!!! She’s getting hotter and hotter!!!
That’s because of global warming.
I have the same advice for her as I do at the guy with the sign at the intersection:
GET A JOB!!!!
“Mommy, why is this strange man naked in back of the van?”
“Shut up kid. He gave me 500 bucks. Now GET IN THERE!”
So Sexy!!!
“you better be fit if you plan to keep up with Kate—she ran a half-marathon in San Diego, Calif., last month and a 3-mile “mini marathon” in Chicago yesterday.”
WHO IS RAISING THOSE FUCKING KIDS??
The same nannies who were raising them (off camera of course) from day one.
“Wait a minute, did that box just say ‘ouch’? And who exactly is ‘The Second Mile’ charity anyway?”
Gosselin > Octo
aaaaaannnnnnnd we’ve used up all of today’s nice. Just like that. It’s gone.
hehehehe
Three day old road kill > Gosselin > Octo-mom
She needs much better publicity people.
She should call the show “Kate Picks a Pedophile” because anyone who would audition for a show with that premise MUST be looking to diddle the kids. Either that or he’s absolutely insane.
How fitting, that as Google Celebrates the 115th anniversary of Amelia Earhart’s birth, and NASA mourns the loss of the first US woman in space, Sally Ride, The Superficial extols the virtue and bravery of another of America’s most courageous and pioneering women.
Look at her mini-me, “Get in your f*#@ing car seats right now!”. She’s got the bitch-face already. Poor thing.
Still looks like a cross between a sleepy lizard and Tara Reid? Yep. Count me out.
At least with Tara Reid, you only have to support her drug habit–not 8 kids.
at least shes the one taking care of the kids, john is just trying to relive his youth with 20 yearold idiots looking for fame too.
WTF will she name the show? “I’ll suck your soul out, you poor bastard, plus eight?”
“Hell on earth with Kate+8″ and missionary sex once a month with extra bitching
I think you had it right with “Missionary Sex once a Month and extra bitching all the time “
No, it’s “One and Done ” No one is going back for second helpings from this specimen of womanhood
I think Mr. Happy would literally wilt quite quickly as soon she opened her mouth , unless it was to fellate Mr. Happy , although staring at her face while she was fellating me might wilt Mr. Happy just the same
As her public profile fades, I visualize her succumbing to an elaborate courtship by the husband from “Sister Wives”, who utilizes this opportunity to strengthen his families numbers and finally overtake the Duggars.
A family-based reality show Highlander-style Quickening is the only way this whole mess can end.
Sweet. :D
The guy from “Sister Wives” may be crazy, but he’s not that f’ing crazy! A Morman fundamentalist can’t pair up with Mrs. Satan. lol
Meh, I would bang her.
Better say goodbye to your friends and loved ones first.
I saw hotter women at the supermarket last night
If she’s broke , her “hotness’ has now receded to “merely cool” If she can buy me a new BMW and send me on a vacation , she’s steamin’
The only way people will watch you bitch is if you decide to let them drop you in the wilderness and declare “Kate” is in season.
Kate Gosselin pitching a new reality show means now that she has to actually spend time with her kids off camera, she’s sick of the little bastards and looking for any reason to get out of the house.
A woman with eight young asian looking kids. I’m surprised Woody Allen has proposed already!
Do you mean to say there isn’t a huge tv market to watch a woman emasculate men once a week for an hour in random cities? I’m shocked. As long as it closes with a shot of the body guard sobbing I’m good with this.
If Kate were to release a sex tape, I wouldn’t not watch.
The love and motherly concern is written all over her face.
I thought she was balling the “bodyguard.” Does she think people are not aware of that? Wow, ugly AND stupid AND slutty…she’s the complete package.
If she wants to get laid then all she need to do is come see me. I would be glad to give it to her any way she wants it.
Just like the old days, a small Asian man is doing her bidding….
I can’t wait to not watch this show, like her previous shows…