In a surprising move considering Kate Gosselin‘s eyes see all, and in the darkness, all see Kate, one of her nannies has escaped the compound and is talking to the media about just how anal a shrill mother of eight kids can be. As for how the nanny escaped, I’d assume by using the children to dig a series of intricate tunnels not unlike the Viet Cong. And if that seems racist, I’m not the one who shoved them out of my vagina for that exact purpose. Take it up with their mother. E! News reports:
“We always had to refer to the manual because it listed her pet peeves,” the nanny told E! News in a recent interview. “You couldn’t put anything on the ground. You had to put shoes in a certain spot. You couldn’t close doors loudly. You could only vacuum during certain times of the day if she was home.”
On top of never put things on the floor in a house full of eight children, the nannies were also encouraged to eavesdrop on the kids’ phone calls with Jon which seems risky considering one of them might be seduced by his talk of ATVs and betray their master:
“When Jon called the kids on the phone, Kate said to us nannies, ‘You are Kate, so always listen in on the phone calls,’” she recalled how her former boss would want the nannies to put themselves in her shoes and do as she would.
“We always had to keep an ear and eye on what was going on. Kate would say she had no problem with the kids having a relationship with Jon, but it always felt like a façade to me.”
As part of becoming Kate, a 47-part ritualistic process full of passive-aggressive Post-It notes and a routine diet of children’s tears, the nannies were often encouraged to wear blonde wigs and silly putty on their stomachs for days if not weeks at a time. In fact, looking back on it, some of them are pretty sure that’s all they’ve done since 2012 and can’t remember the last time they saw the real Kate. But then who’s been barking orders from inside her bedroo- fuck me, a tape recorder?!
Photos: Splash News