Kate Gosselin Just Needs a Drink

January 26th, 2011 // 51 Comments

While some of you might point out that this is just a woman in a liquor store, might I counter with, is there anything more strikingly beautiful? Logic puzzles aside, this is mother of eight Kate Gosselin doing the most natural and non-scripted thing I’ve ever seen her do: Retreat to the child-muting embrace of delicious alcohol. It’s truly a testament to her ability to hire complete strangers to raise her kids willpower that she doesn’t just smash the bottle open on the counter and pour it into her man-belittling piehole of hate. Although, we probably shouldn’t rule out chewing it open in the parking lot.

“Fucking Jon. *crunch crunch crunch* Goddamn fertility pills. *crunch crunch* TLC. *crunch* Oh, there’s mama sauce. Make it all go away. *glug glug* That’s right, put those kids back up in there. *glug glug glug glug glug glug glug* Now (hic) who wansa steal Chrizmes? I’m stealin’ Chrizmes. Steal all that shit.”

Photos: INFdaily

superficial

  1. Shit, if I drink enough can I make HER just go away?

  2. hmna

    In Kate’s defense, she is from Pennsylvania, which has some seriously fucked up alcohol laws. If you want a bottle of wine, you have to go to a state-run liquor store.

    • Sizzle

      Tru dat. Went to college in Pa. Almost impossible to get served underage, whereas in my home state of MD I was able to get served at 15.

  3. That Guy

    I haven’t heard anything about her ex husband in months. Good.

  4. ARGH

    In Kate’s defense, I’d get all up in that skeez.

  5. Ridic

    Buying one bottle of wine is stocking up? I should probably start attending meetings if that is the case.

  6. American sure makes a lot of dumb whores into celebrities. So,… it has that going for it.

  7. Looks like she’s gonna party like it’s $19.99

  8. youcandieNOW

    If I were her I’d do coke with Nicole Ritchie.

  9. Jay

    Who cares if she buys some wine? Drinking is legal. It doesn’t make her an alcoholic. Calling her a bad mother is stupid because all this attention and paparazzi crap is what’s really screwing up the lives of her kids. If anyone really cares about her children’s upbringing, leave them all alone.

    • You have it backwards, but God forbid that should stop a good sanctimonious head of steam, right? I’d be more than happy to consign her to oblivion and never hear from her again – it’s she who won’t go away quietly. DWTS, camping with Palin – it’s a neverending parade of Cunt….I mean, Kate. The only time I’d be pleased to see her would be in a cage match with OctoMom, and only then if it’s to the death.

  10. Kate Gosselin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mix this one with those pills I just sold you and the bodyguard will be putty in your hands. Hard putty.”

  11. Lady Blah Blah

    Someone who doesn’t know what she really looks like (the image on the left is what she really looks like before a variety of “lipstick on a pig” tricks are applied to her: http://whyarewomensostupid.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/katebeforeandafter.jpg) could think she’s got a milf-esque quality. But in reality, in addition to being an evil, shrill bitch, she’s a gross hog. I feel sorry for any guy who winds up in the sack with this oinker, only to discover – maybe not till the next morning – that’s he’s just fucked, and God forbid performed oral (and worse!) on a member of the Suidae family of even-toed ungulates.

  12. Lady Blah Blah

    Sorry, the parenthesis screwed up the url, this should fix it:

    http://whyarewomensostupid.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/katebeforeandafter.jpg

  13. ashley

    How else are you going to tolerate 8 kids?

  14. Bri

    Actually, that picture was most likely taken during one of her pregnancies, here is a true before photo: (Taken on Jon & Kate’s 1st Wedding Day)
    http://www.fanpop.com/spots/jon-and-kate-plus-8/images/5674879/title/kate-getting-ready-1st-wedding-photo
    She doesn’t look that much different.

  15. titsxoxo

    ROFL crunch crunch crunch

  16. GAHHHHH!!!

    Something about her face just makes me want to kick the ever lovin’ shit out of her. DAMN I HATE HER!!

  17. kyle554123

    I am surprised she and the kids weren’t “invited” to the liquor store by her “good friends” the owners. I’m sure it would have been a great “experience” for the kids to learn about retail sales. And of course, the store owners would have been so kind and “voluntarily” given Kate some “complimentary” wine.

  18. Go figure – I always thought Kate Gosselin produced enough whine all by herself..

  19. Joe Blow

    In her defense the woman pumped out 8 kids and was married to a douche bag.

  20. Smellanie

    “Who stole chrizmez? I stole chrizmez”
    LOL, Fish sometimes (rarely) you slay me!

  21. She can’t help it if she’s made that way,
    she’s not to blame if they look her way,
    she ain’t really tryin’ to cause a scene,
    it just comes naturally, nah , the girl can’t help it.

    Well up on main street, by the taxi stand,
    there’s a crowd of people, and a traffic jam,
    she don’t look back, she ain’t doin’ nothing’ wrong,

    Lord have mercy, baby’s got her blue jeans on!

  22. Bryant

    She drinks. And Drinks. And Falls. And Breaks things.
    Just wait. It’ll all be out there soon.

  23. MLVC

    I would lick her…she looks good for giving birth to a football team.

  24. With all those crib lizards she oughta STAY tanked up…

  25. “So, just the one bottle of wine to go with your two dozen cases of Colt 45, Mrs. Gosselin? Runner on cash 4 for carryout!”

  26. wim

    or a bar/nightclub.
    …………..THAT’S EQUALL TO HER.

  27. Kate Gosselin
    drewjewaw
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll throw a few back with her and see where the night takes us.

  28. Nero

    Kids do need candies or cookies from time to time. And what do adults need?!

  29. Rhialto

    I’d like dining and wining. Just like the way in the southern European countries.

  30. Gando

    Maybe the mother of all booze, fermented fruits, did play a fundamental role in the evolution of the modern social structure of mankind …..

  31. Nero

    And why are the paparazzi stalking her for this?! Idiots!

  32. Diana

    Typical blonde cow.

  33. Greg

    I think the fact we see Kate “Circus Clown Car Vagina” Gosselin in the same photo as a sign reading “Clearance Sale” is more than a little ironic, dontyathink?

  34. Joe Blow

    “Huh, my 15 minutes of fame are up?”

  35. Squishy

    Frakkin right! Who wouldn’t after having EIGHT babies with Jon Gosselin!! ~puke~

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