Kate Gosselin is Broke

September 7th, 2011 // 172 Comments

Now that Kate Plus 8 has been canceled thanks to its complete transformation from a show about raising eight cute little Asian kids to a strange, twisted look into the glamorous new life of a soulless, rags-to-riches control freak, Kate Gosselin is freaking out in the latest issue of People because she has to get a real job now. Via HollywoodLife:

But Kate, who is used to TLC paying for her family to take extravagant trips to places like Australia and Alaska knows can already feel her life changing drastically.
“I don’t want to take anything away that [the kids] have been given,” Kate says. “[I've saved] for a little while. People think we made gazillions of dollars, and we didn’t. After the show was canceled, I said, ‘I’ll go back to my old nursing job.’ If nothing comes up, I’ll do it. But the scary reality is, 12-hour nursing shifts every day wouldn’t let me continue to provide well for me eight kids.”

And here are just some of things Kate has to ditch unless her children’s nimble Asian fingers are ready to build a whole lot of iPods:

Kate has a full staff which costs $500,000: “Kate employs two housekeepers, two nannies, an assistant, and bodyguard Steve Neild.
The mom-of-eight’s $2,000 hair: “That’s what Kate paid last year for a cut, color and Brazilian keratin treatment at Ted Gibson’s NYC salon.”
Kate’s sprawling $1.3 million estate: “Kate’s 6,000 square foot five-bedroom mansion in Wernersville, Pa., sits on 24 secluded acres.”
Kate spends $500,000 on her children’s private school: “Her kids are in private school. At 5 grand a month for each child that adds up.”
Kate’s shopping sprees that costs ???: “Kate’s fashion tab is hard to know. TLC picked up much of it — but she loves to shop!”

Here’s the best part about this whole story: This is a woman who’s been well-documented as recklessly shatting out eight kids for the sole purpose of landing a reality show and getting a bunch of free shit because there’s absolutely no way that gravy train would suddenly come to a screeching halt leaving her holding a bag full of rugrats she can’t afford. Talk about a completely unpredictable turn of events. I just assumed an angel from Heaven would float down to earth once a year and hand Kate a bag of money. Clearly that had to be the backup plan, so maybe he’s just waiting for the last episode to air and everybody needs to stop freaking out and secretly wondering if anyone would really notice if a kid or two went missing. Yes, there are eight of them, all identical, but just backburner that one for at least another week. Two at most.

Photo: INFdaily, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Dude of Dudes

    Surely there must be a job for a soulless bitch with half decent tits…..It’ll come to me in a minute.

  2. She is so old and fat. She’s older and fatter than Marlon Brando in The Island of Dr. Moreau.

  3. Pippy Longcockings

    She’ll have to sell them all for scientific experiments.

  4. Kate Gosselin Broke
    Dude of Dudes
    Commented on this photo:

    “Is this the part where I get down on my knees and make the segzy happen?”

  5. Sheik Yerbouti

    So she hasn’t been prudently saving and investing for the day when her 15 minutes were up? Shocking!

    • Rhowen

      Well, there’s the unemployment line .. knowing khate she’ll complain, “this is not enough to maintain my lavish life and the kids…the kids…. this is not what they were given …. how much does TLC contribute to unemployment?”

  6. AL

    this can’t be good for the kids.

    • You know what else can’t be good for the kids? Having seven brothers and sisters and a narcissistic sociopath for a mother.

      • Weirdo

        Yeah too fucking bad she actually has to get a REAL job. Boo Hoo. Tell her lazy ass ex husband to start kicking down also. Then they’ll know the struggles that every other NORMAL American family has to deal with every day!

  7. I think “Hippie Kate and the Unwashed Eight” would make a great riches to rags reality show.

  8. naano

    haha bitch

  9. Gerges Gonzo

    Dr. Mengele’s heirs are drooling.

  10. JC

    I see a way to solve the problems of (a) too many kids and (b) not enough money all in one fell swoop: TLC’s “Kate Plus Casey Anthony Plus Eight….Then Seven….Then Six….”

  11. Kate Gosselin Broke
    Commented on this photo:

    “Did you use a coupon? NO?? YOU DIDN’T USE A COUPON??”

  12. Deacon Jones

    Dude, that fucking picture right there sums her up. A raging bitch.

    If I was Steve Hirsh at Vivid, I’d offer her a boatload of cash to do a gangbang facial, money she couldnt turn down.

    And every time a guy was about to nut, she’d have to say “Oh Goodie!!!”

  13. Shawn

    Did she really say “provide well for me eight kids”? Is she a fucking 19th century chimney sweep now? Or did someone’s fat drunken fingers type that in wrong?

  14. she more then broke…that bitch is busted!

  15. OMG

    OMG they are NOT ALL identical if half of them have penises and half have vaginas. That just makes me nuts when people say that. The penises can be identical and the vaginas can be identical but penises and vaginas will never be identical! Its so obvious!!!

  16. It’s a damn shame how much these reality retards spend on shit who gets a 2 grand hair cut.. And how much is she paying these 2 nannies and house keepers and guard that it cost 500 grand a month sign me the he’ll up ..

    • CranAppleSnapple

      I know! And look at that fetid mess. That is not 2 grand’s worth.

    • D-chi

      2 grand for just a pretty good hair cut? Girl, you can get that for $25 down in Miami. (Of course, keratin and dye would cost more, but you have 8 mouths to feed. Make some sacrifices.)

  17. Kate Gosselin Broke
    last
    Commented on this photo:

    You’re a strange one…Mr. Grinch.

  18. Kate Gosselin Broke
    Like it!
    Commented on this photo:

    I would hit that ass in a heartbeat!

  19. Kate Gosselin Broke
    Like it!
    Commented on this photo:

    I would love to fill that gash with my dirty spunk.

  20. Facebook Me

    Welcome to reality Kate! Its called the REAL WORLD, without cameras, where people get jobs and actually work for a living.

    Thanks GOD this bitch 15 minutes of fame whoredom has been cancelled!

    Get a job bitch like the rest of us and support your family!

  21. Someone Else

    Soulless – check
    Fake Bombs – check
    Needs money – check
    I wonder what career would be available for her? Hint, rhymes with scorn.

  22. Buddy the Elf

    That face sure is broke.

  23. Kate Gosselin Broke
    bs3n21
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m an RN. I can’t imagine a monster like that helping anyone. Guess we’ll have to put double locks on the narcotics cabinet.

  24. Me

    I’d still hit it

    • Jack Ketch

      And lay your very soul and character at the feet of The Superficial and all the fine posters here ? Gah …

  25. dork

    I’ll buy her porn movie.

    • dontkillthemessenger

      I can honestly say I wouldn’t watch her do porn for free. Unless there’s some freaky stuff I don’t know about where people are beaten to death with folding chairs.

      GET. A. JOB. BITCH.

      I still like Jon more and he cheated, hung out with Michael Lohan, and wore Ed Hardy shirts.

    • januarydog

      I’d watch it for free online

  26. Dufresne

    Kate: Hello, Octomom?
    Octomom: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

  27. Carlos Esperanza

    I guess being a mean , controlling bitch has no upside when you’re going back down to where you came from

  28. it had to be said

    $5000 per month, per kid for school? That’s $60,000 a year per kid. In middle-of-nowhere Pennsylvania? Something there doesn’t add up. Are they the only kids at the school?

  29. it had to be said

    Gentlemen,
    I’d like to introduce you to Nurse Ratched. She is here to help. Good luck.

    • CranAppleSnapple

      Can you imagine her trying to be sensitive to some poor suffering sick person?
      “Hey! Your puke got in my weave! Sonofabitch! Empty your own effing bedpan!!”

  30. Cosmic Kat

    Maybe she can make a deal with the devil . Or maybe she already did , and she didn’t read the fine print
    “If , for my amusement , I want to return you to your original living conditions , I can . To get you lifestyle back again , you must give me the soul of one of your children. Each time this occurs , I can age you ten years instantly”- Beelezebub

    • Billy Barty, Jr

      I think I can hear old Lucifer chuckling right now , somewhere in the South !

    • TomFrank

      It makes sense she made a deal with the Devil. His contracts only last for seven years, and she gave birth to the sextuplets in—yes, that’s right—2004.

  31. Like it!

    I would so hit that. She seems like she is open to wearing a strap on.

  32. Jack Ketch

    I just love it when someone who’s got it coming (and has had for a long time) gets it right between the eyes. Maybe now the ugly snagglecunt will disappear into obilivion … it’d be nice if the Kartrashians followed suit.

  33. Kate Gosselin Broke
    Bionerd
    Commented on this photo:

    Good lord, those crazy eyes could make any zygote split itself in half at least 3 times over.

  34. That bitch was a nurse? I wouldn’t let her pick the cotton out of an aspirin bottle.

  35. NTT

    Imagine her showing up as your nurse. I’d jump out the window before I’d let her near me.

  36. I believe I speak for all of us here when I say

    “BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SUCK ON THAT, BITCH!”

  37. Tristyn

    This GREEDY bitch has NO ONE to blame but herself, FUCK HER !!!!!

  38. Kate Gosselin Broke
    gigi
    Commented on this photo:

    are you guys sure this isn’t that Chris Crocker dude? yiiiiikes….

  39. Kate Gosselin Broke
    girlface
    Commented on this photo:

    She kind of looks like E.T. in the scene when Drew Barrymore dresses him up to look like a woman. The dangers of Hollywood, folks. They’re legit.

  40. GeorgeWBush

    Since she did well on Dancing with the Stars, I hope she’s thinking about hitting the stripper circuit real soon.

  41. Jim

    How is it that this idiot is broke, but the Kardashians are rolling in it? Kris Jenner must have gone to the souless famewhore version of the London School of Economics.

  42. Bandit82Baby

    Soooo, when is the open letter to the Jolie-Pitt clan coming?? “Dear Brad & Ann(cuz they’re like thiiiss) wondering if you’re interested in expanding that United Colors of Benetton ad/Freak Show you call a “blended family”, seriously, we’re selling these bastards at rock-bottom prices, everything(just the kids not my stuff) must go!!
    Respectfully,
    The Devil, just kidding!! Its me……Kate!!

  43. Shockandawe

    No sympathy for her or the family; welcome to the world the rest of America has been dealing with while she was living the hollywood lifestyle.

  44. cockster

    I wouldn’t do her if I had a closet full of cocks. She’d bitch and moan and then demand a slice of pizza

  45. gigi

    I’m freaking out at how much she looks like that ‘leave Britney alone guy’ — Chris Crocker… eeeeeesh…

  46. Billy Barty , Jr

    Imagine waking up to that!

  47. Kate Gosselin Broke
    Dr. Feelgood
    Commented on this photo:

    Can you imagine her as your nurse? She’d scream at chemo patients saying they were breathing too hard. I’d shit myself on purpose just so she had to clean it up every day.

  48. Kevin

    I bet she could use a man to help pay the bills and take care of those kids right about now…

  49. TomFrank

    Someone should probably tell Kate that if you’re living on a $1.3 million estate, you are not really “broke.” Time to sell. There are 4-bedroom houses for rent in her area for $2000/month (I just checked). There are a lot of people hurting out there, and you probably think you’re special, Kate, but you’re not. Suck it up, buttercup.

  50. DeeMacD

    It’s about time. Knock her off of the high horse. The house won’t sell. No one around here is paying that kind of money for a home.

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