Kate Beckinsale Is A Goddess

And, lo, did I stare into the butt of such beauty that it felt as if the weeping, love-filled eyes of the Lord Christ Jesus himself were staring back at me and whispering, “Dude, why are you thinking about a naked guy on a cross while staring at Kate Beckinsale’s ass? You have mental problems.”

And so it was written.

[Ed. Note: It was either this or “Gotdamn, dat British vampire butt make my stake all wooden.” My life is one tough decision after the other.]

Photos: Splash News

The Superficial is in Clusterf@ck! Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Mon, Oct 17.