Kat Von D & Jesse James Engaged Again (Read: Never Broke Up In The First Place)

August 18th, 2011 // 44 Comments

Where do I begin?

Earlier today, Kat Von D‘s show LA Ink was shitcanned by TLC which was interesting because she conveniently “broke-up” with Jesse James five days before this season’s premiere which we now know proves the show was desperate for publicity. I say all that, plus the sarcastic quotes back there, because not even two hours after she heard the news, it was announced she and Jesse got “re-engaged” under the guise of him realizing she’s the greatest thing that ever happened to him since Sandra Bullock and a bike shop full of Nazi poon. People reports:

In an interview with PEOPLE, James made it official. The engagement is back on, and Von D is once again wearing her ring.
“Sometimes you are only given one chance in life,” he says. “It was up to me to open my eyes and see it. That girl is my chance. I will never stop fighting and striving to hold on to her. Showing her how special she is, and how much I love her.”

On top of this conveniently joyous “reunion,” Kat is already starting to spin the cancellation of her show to make it sound like it was all her idea and something about protecting honesty. I’m not gonna lie, I zoned out:

“In an effort to capitalize on my recent breakup, the network has decided to focus their energy on re-editing events that didn’t happen while filming,” she tells PEOPLE. “I have no regrets and am very proud of the original footage. In my opinion, any attempt to compromise the honesty of that would be an insult to my fans and viewers.”
Von D adds, “As grateful as I am to have been a part of a show like LA Ink, I’m ready to end this chapter and want to focus on other projects now.”

“Blah blah blah my noonerhole qualifies as an inkwell.” That’s how I read that.

Now here’s where it gets interesting (because I’m 11), if you take anything away from this post, it’s that Jesse James just posted the above pic of Kat and him “back together” on his Tumblr. The name of that Tumblr? Butt Pee. Jesse James has a Tumblr named Butt Pee. How I didn’t make that the headline will haunt me until the day I die.

UPDATE: “Butt Pee.” Butt. Pee…

Photos: Tumblr, Splash News

superficial

  1. Dr Ha-Ha

    If Dr. Mengele met Dr. Frankstein, they couldn’t conjure up something as awful as Kat Von Diseased.

  2. nahhhh

    Oh, silly internet.

  3. I’m trying to drum up the enthusiasm to show how little I care about these two inked stooges.

  4. Richard Narlian

    If any of your respondants give a wang,dang,doodle about this crap,I will dis-own them.
    Jesse,your 5 minutes of fame is in overtime.and you owe me big time.

  5. Anon

    Yeah that publicity stunt went south for Kat Von D really fast. Good thing is her ass is off TV now. She was irritating.

  6. tlmck

    A cheap publicity stunt in Hollywood? Surely you jest.

  7. There are plenty of fish in the sea, unless you’re looking for the elusive Tattoous Nazia species.

    Then you’ve only got one choice.

  8. This picture looks like someone took a Calvin Klein Obsession ad and crumpled it up with a few comic book pages.

  9. Theodore Cruxtable

    I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn’t a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time… For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars… And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined our street… Or my grandmother’s hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper… And the first time I saw my cousin Tony’s brand new Firebird… And Janie… And Janie… And… Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me… but it’s hard to stay mad, when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst… And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life… You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure. But don’t worry… you will someday.

  10. D-chi

    Butt pee?

    I…. okay.

  11. Jesse James Kat Von D Engaged Again
    le teacher
    Commented on this photo:

    gag reflex: check!

  12. Jon and Kate Plus Hate

    the girl’s a sklunt, skank slut cunt all in one, the guy, he’s a tattooed Nazi….I got nothing

  13. Marceelf

    I got my eyes dilated this afternoon and came home and clicked on The Superficial. Please God, tell me that I have glaucoma and that picture isn’t real.

  14. forrest gump

    …………..AIDS ruled!!

  15. My mum and dad think that Kat Von D is a bad roll model for me, but i love what she dose. how can i convince them otherwise?
    http://dailybooth.com/billysteve/18250957

    • Jon and Kate Plus Hate

      Well you can’t spell, you are on your way to being a great tattoo artist !!!

    • Clueless

      Are Nazis big with the kids these days?

      My guess is, if you think that Kat Von D is a good role model for you, it’s too late for them to do anything anyway. So, congratulations, you… win… I guess…

      Please let the rest of us know what city you live in so we can avoid it.

  16. holymoly

    When I was in nursing school, we had to take microbiology, which involved growing cultures, looking at nasty things under a microscope, etc. This is basically what syphilis looked like.

  17. Buddy the Elf

    Two worthless individuals.
    They are a perfect match let them worship Hitler together in anonymity.

  18. snack pack

    Nothing says hardcore-extreme-badass-rebel-tough guy-bad boy like ridiculous art photos of cuddle time. Barf.

  19. stevebeagle

    she has a face like an opossum.. fuckin eyes are too close together

  20. Cock Dr

    Note to self: Do not look at SW blog right before breakfast.
    Risk of viewing inked Nazi freaks.

  21. Rough, license to ill

    I knew I wasn’t looking at a Jackson Pollock.

  22. leo cocksuckerian

    They look like two werewolves fucking. thanks a lot for sharing.

  23. Jesse James Kat Von D Engaged Again
    Whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    blah, blah, blah. these 2 douchebags totally deserve each other. plus, since her crappy reality show was axed, she’ll have extra time to repair their make believe relationship. win-win situation for both of these losers.

  24. Danny Noonan

    “Love between the tattooed is the most beautiful love of all ”
    Dr . Mengele

  25. Larry Mondello

    I dare you to eat some mushrooms and contemplate these two

  26. Frank Burns

    Great, now I want to dunk my brain in bleach to get rid that pic . . .

  27. Noe

    I can’t stand these two. Media whores. Go away please and stay away.

  28. graffiti covered garage brick wall in south LA

    hes a lying piece of scum.
    he said just last week that he loved me and wanted to marry me.
    ugh i even let him pee on me.

  29. Jesse James Kat Von D Engaged Again
    jesscru
    Commented on this photo:

    i have yet to understand WHY SHE WEARS THESES HORRIBLE CHEAP LOOKING WIGS!
    she used to be kinda..”cool” looking

  30. Jesse James Kat Von D Engaged Again
    Dave Mustaine
    Commented on this photo:

    Look at that face on her. It looks like she has a mask on.

  31. “Sometimes you’re given only one chance in life?”

    So, would that be the “chance” with the porn star that produced all those kids, the “chance” with the movie star who was a great stepmom and worked so hard to help you get sole custody of those same kids, the “chance” you had to cheat on her with a swastika-covered sorry-mom-I-drew-on-the-wallpaper skank, or the “chance” to dump her to get engaged to the latest skin billboard with truly prophetic last-name initials? Someone’s had far too many of those once-in-a-lifetime “chances” IMO.

  32. I can smell the herpes from here.

  33. good that all works out. rather he got stuck bangin her than some new sap catching hep from her

  34. katy perry

    when douches collide

  35. Good, now she can take her man voice somewhere else

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