A Crazy Lady Tried to Bring Down The Kardashian Empire With a Machete

A woman was arrested last night after threatening employees of Kim Kardashian’s DASH boutique in Los Angeles. She first appeared at the store around 11 a.m. and spouted some rant about “staying out of Cuba” while waving a gun around (police later found that this was an airsoft gun). She eventually left without shooting anyone with a plastic BB. Later in the day, she returned with a machete for a second helping of crazy. By then, the local news was on the scene to capture this tender moment…

(Speaking of tinder, does anyone know if she’s single?)

Oh boy, if you were to tell me that I was going to watch a woman with a POW tee and a Hot Topic sweatshirt having an unhinged, geopolitical press conference outside the Kardashian’s store today I would have done my best Dave Coulier and said to cut it oouutt.

My favorite part about this video is the fact that these reporters seem completely unfazed by this obviously disturbed woman waving a giant machete in their faces as she goes off about communism. Have you seen Nightcrawler? Reporters in LA are fucking hardcore and so is my future wife… who is now in jail for assault and criminal threats. Can anyone find out how I can score a conjugal visit? I have a gift card to Chili’s that’s worth its weight in jalapeño poppers I’d be willing to trade.

On another note, the fact that this woman was placed in general pop and not an institution should be a reminder at how fucked up our mental health/justice system is in this country. It’s also a reminder to not get arrested because you’ll probably have to share a cell with someone like this…