Kanye West wants to pose naked. Okay, sure.

January 11th, 2009 // 90 Comments

Superstar rapper Kanye West wants to redefine the world of hip-hop as we know it. Except his plan involves showing you his testicles, and I’m literally not joking. Here’s what DJ Nudestein told the latest issue of Vibe:

“I definitely feel like, in the next however many years, if I work out for two months, that I’ll pose naked. I break every rule and mentality of hip-hop, of black culture, of American culture.”

Another obstacle in Kanye’s quest to flash his dong is the always irksome problem of having too many people love your music. That’s right. Kanye has too many fans, and he’s not ashamed to bitch about it:

“I want the freedom of having less fans. It’s like the freedom of having less money. If you have less money, you have less responsibility. It’s like Björk. If she wanted to pose naked, you’d be like: ‘Oh, that’s Björk. But if I wanted to pose naked, people would draw all type of things into it.”

Let me get this straight; Kanye West is begging people to not buy his albums, so he can become an exhibitionist. Excuse me for a minute:

Kanye,

For the record, I have never purchased a single note of your music. Please, do not consider this an endorsement of your new-found desire to display your jungle of love. It’s actually the exact opposite. In fact, if you agree to put more clothes on top of the clothes you’re already wearing, I’ll walk into Target right now and start punching anyone in the face that tries to buy your CDs. You’ll get less fans. I won’t have to see your cock, and everyone’s a winner.

Holla’ at your boy,

The Superficial Writer

P.S. Did you seriously just compare yourself to a petite female Icelandic singer? Wow. That’s messed up.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Kaybadass

    Kanye is an ass wad. Who the hell does he think he is? First, he’s comparing himself to Elvis and now he thinks he has too many fans?? Give me a fucking break. Kanye… You suck and so does your music. I never have and never will buy one of your records. Your music isnt even good enough to pirate online! Fall of the face of the earth… PLEASE.

  2. His first film role should be the token Black dude in a horror movie. You know what happens next…

  3. Uncle Eccoli

    Won’t somebody do the world a favour and take care of this ass?

  4. Angry Beaver

    He’ll never pose…he’s just confused. When people call him a big dick, they’re referring to him as a person, not the tiny dark twizzler between his legs his boyfriend talks about.

  5. mamamiasweetpeaches

    Wow. I’d pay NOT to see it. This reminds me of a few weeks ago when I saw P DIDDY threatening to show up naked at some upcoming awards show. I think I lost 5 pounds that week.

    And its not like Im against seeing black guys naked. Why doesn’t L L COOL J show us the money? Or LENNY KRAVITZ? There’s something I’d stand in line to see! And maybe even Samuel L Jackson. I’ve never seen him IN anything bad so I imagine “IN the raw” would be no exception!

    oh, and I have a few BJORK CDs in my house and have never even HEARD a KANYE song…so , yeah, whatever. To compare himself to BJORK in any way, shape or form is just wishful thinking on HIS part!

  6. mamamiasweetpeaches

    Wow. I’d pay NOT to see it. This reminds me of a few weeks ago when I saw P DIDDY threatening to show up naked at some upcoming awards show. I think I lost 5 pounds that week.

    And its not like Im against seeing black guys naked. Why doesn’t L L COOL J show us the money? Or LENNY KRAVITZ? There’s something I’d stand in line to see! And maybe even Samuel L Jackson. I’ve never seen him IN anything bad so I imagine “IN the raw” would be no exception!

    oh, and I have a few BJORK CDs in my house and have never even HEARD a KANYE song…so , yeah, whatever. To compare himself to BJORK in any way, shape or form is just wishful thinking on HIS part!

  7. James

    god i’m so sick of kanye. For starters he can’t rap for shit. Yeah he can put together a good beat, but he raps like a kid with downsyndrome.
    Second he hasn’t broken any rule of any culture. He definitely wouldn’t be the first naked black guy in the world. 2 Live Crew used to flash their shit more than a drunk heiress so he isn’t doing anything new for the hip-hop world.
    Hell he’s never done anything that wasn’t done ten years ago by someone with real talent. Even his ego trips are a sad fucking imitation of Diddy’s diva fits.

    and he’s just a fucking idiot. In a country in the middle of a recession with people losing their homes and jobs at break-neck speed he’s actually going to sit there and say less money gives people more freedom? i mean… god damn that is stupid. I’m starting to bet he didn’t drop out of college at all but failed.

  8. please

    First of all, I am really disgusted at some of the racist comments on here. Go crawl back into a box.

    HOWEVER, Kanye is just not that talented. How does he break rules? By over-using a vox-box on his newest album? By whining? There’s is nothing unique or ground breaking about his music or style.

    Secondly, does he even know who Bjork is? Bjork’s career is at least five times longer than Kanye, she has millions and millions of devoted fans all over the world, and Bjork is a true artist. She can pose naked because she does what she wants and her fan base is so loyal, they will follow her. Plus, nudity has been a part of her career nearly from the beginning.

    Get over yourself, Kanye.

  9. Grammar Nazi

    “I want the freedom of having FEWER fans”
    Sheez…

  10. pedantic fucker

    you don’t say “less fans”, you say “fewer fans”
    dumb cotton-picker thinks he’s some kind of demi-god but he can’t even speak english properly

  11. #59 – #60 – So is it “Who gives a fuck about you pretending to be smart you cocksucker!!!” or “Who gives a fuck about you pretending to be smart you cocksucker???” I mean, less, fewer, really… who gives a fuck you pretending to be smart you cocksucker?!?!?!?

  12. Andrew

    well, what else d’u expect from a nigga like him or any other of that sub-species for that matter…
    being an american nigga’s got to be the worst combination ever.
    Humanity at its lowest.

  13. We will soon all be like the jetsons!!!! FIRST FLYING CAR!!!
    http://www.zacktaylor.ca/photos/uncategorized/2009/01/11/carfly.jpg

  14. mamamiasweepeaches

    Dont you love these celebrities who say they want less, fame, less money, less fans? I say GIVE ‘EM WHAT THEY WANT! Everybody STOP buying this guys albums! Dont send a red cent his way!

    AND just thought of another brother who I would prefer to see nude than this guy who looks like Gary Coleman’s older brother – USHER! Ooooh yeahhh! Giggity!

  15. Julie Ann

    Hope his dick is as big as his ego.

  16. missywissy

    Am I the only person in here that would actually look at a photo of Kanye West naked if one existed??????

    I say go for it!!!! I think it’s awesome. I fucking hate him, but I don’t mind seeing a dude that takes care of himself naked.

    He’ll probablly hire some expensive photographer to take his photo so it looks “artistic” and photoshop a few inches and what not.

    That’s funny he said he would have to have a few months notice so he could get into shape. I didn’t know seasoned celebs admit to shit like that.

  17. Sport

    What a fucking loser, equating doing something revolutionary or cutting edge by showing his crank. Yay.

  18. Goon

    He has such nigger hair.

  19. riiight

    I agree with #58. I think Kanye is so wrapped up in being “the voice of a generation of a decade” or some shit like that, that he forgot Bjork as been nominated for 13 Grammy Awards, an Academy Award and two Golden Globe Awards. Not to mention being hailed on many “greatest artists” lists. She just gets away with that crazy shit because that’s her persona.

  20. grammarishot

    #59… lol!

  21. Rachiz

    Dear Kanye West,
    you seriously need to shut the fuck up. You and your diva antics aren’t impressing anyone and in 2 years no one will know you name, and guess what they’ll still mispronounce it, bitch. Don’t take your clothes off because then you’ll expose to the world the spoiled 8 year old little girl you hide under a 30 something black man. Bitch please. Stop talking about yourself like you’re the black messiah. Your music sucks. That one James Bond Diamonds are Forever one was pretty cool but i’m just being generous. I hope you read this and BITCH ABOUT IT ON YOUR BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!1!!
    don’t worry about having too many fans, i’m pretty sure you killed it at bonaroo.

    p.s you’re not P. Diddy

    p.p.s or Jay-Z

  22. amber

    Fuck you K west.
    Your ‘music’ isn’t even worth the bandwidth for a free download.

  23. kanye is a shitstain

    Kanye is a punk ass fairy and a douchebag.

    He’s also a lapdog to some in the music industry.

  24. Ardgelina

    I agree #66

    I’m curious to see what he looks like nude! He is so full of himself…. he is prob really proud of something! I say let us see. I don’t like his attitude tho big turn off but the man can dress his ass off!!!! I love his style. I love his new cd 2! All he needs 2 do is lose the attitude and he would be a perfect man!

  25. M.

    He’ s so full of himself that it’s almost unbelievable.
    I don’t particularly enjoy his flow, but he’s a good rapper and a talented producer BUT jeez he’s such a douchebag that all the other douchebags are starting to get jealous.
    He needs to boost down his ego before he explodes.

  26. Jeffrey

    I’m black and I’m REALLY tired of this supposed “black culture” thing in hip hop.
    it used to be decent when people REALLY came from the streets or when the lyrics used go be good (ATCQ, Guru, Nas, Afu-Ra and many many other artists).
    Now it all comes down to bling bling, hoes and guns.
    What the heck is going on?!
    Is being an illiterate and ignorant afro-american good? Since when?
    All this crap is destroying the black culture, that’s all it’s doing.
    I’m so ashamed and tired of these people bringing us down as people.

  27. robert byrd

    You can get a preview by going to the gorilla exhibit at your local zoo

  28. D

    Keep making records like your latest and you will have less fans. Actually you already do, but I mean even less.

  29. julie

    umm did Kanye not know that Björk already posed naked? Also he´s sort of using a terrible comparison. Female nudity is always more socially acceptable than male nudity. And to everyone saying “Björk can get away with posing naked cos she crazy!” She is just as “crazy” as any other Icelandic chick I know. It’s not just her, they are all like that!
    Lastly, Kanye is a unjustified egomaniac. he only redeeming quality is the fact he likes Harold’s Chicken Shack, but anyone who has eaten there knows it’s the best.

    http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/PF/PF_816849_999~Bjork-Naked-with-Leaves-Posters.jpg

  30. nea

    UGH!! He pisses me off everytime I look at him with his disgusting gopher cheeks and arrogant attitude. I hope his “fans” stop buying AND downloading his shit! He’s a self proclaimed god of music and style..he’s F#$@ing sick!

  31. calling all haters

    I guess this is where HATERS live (online).

  32. susie

    bjork naked – kinda rhymes…

  33. Amanda

    He is a moron. He bitches about EVERYTHING. I hate that he acts like a poor black man when he grew up in the nice SUBURBS!!! He’s got a nasty body, 50 cent I’d look at, but not kanye, YUCK!

  34. G.

    I wouldnt mind seeing what kanye is packing in them jeans, Cmon I know half you suckas would buy the got damn magazine too you all HATERS.. BUT I WOULD RATHER SEE T.I. ShOW OFF HIS INSTEAD OR CHINGY…

  35. Peaches

    Oooh I hope he does show it off! have you seen that video STRONGER” you can totally see that he is packing a monsta!! You all just hatas!!!

    SHOW IT !!!

    SHOW IT!!!

  36. Soma pill head

    I bet he has like an 11 Incher!!! for sure at least 10 1/2 inch it is hude I can see he bulge!!

  37. Soma pill head

    I bet he has like an 11 Incher!!! for sure at least 10 1/2 inch it is huge I can see he bulge!!

  38. Soma pill head

    I bet he has like an 11 Incher!!! for sure at least 10 1/2 inch it is huge I can see he bulge!!

  39. Soma pill head

    I bet he has like an 11 Incher!!! for sure at least 10 1/2 inch it is huge I can see his bulge!!

  40. A ‘what fuckin puzzle. Sure that the West, but he has talent douche rapper who thinks he is bigger but …. Has become a cliche than God ….. What a nonsense. He’s got talent … But so what on earth with a million other people to make money themselves known. You treasonous symbol of God … Are making good music, then be satisfied … You do not act like shit when you really just a “mile markers are fuckin long. Be happy with delight.

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