Kanye West wants to pose naked. Okay, sure.

January 11th, 2009 // 90 Comments

Superstar rapper Kanye West wants to redefine the world of hip-hop as we know it. Except his plan involves showing you his testicles, and I’m literally not joking. Here’s what DJ Nudestein told the latest issue of Vibe:

“I definitely feel like, in the next however many years, if I work out for two months, that I’ll pose naked. I break every rule and mentality of hip-hop, of black culture, of American culture.”

Another obstacle in Kanye’s quest to flash his dong is the always irksome problem of having too many people love your music. That’s right. Kanye has too many fans, and he’s not ashamed to bitch about it:

“I want the freedom of having less fans. It’s like the freedom of having less money. If you have less money, you have less responsibility. It’s like Björk. If she wanted to pose naked, you’d be like: ‘Oh, that’s Björk. But if I wanted to pose naked, people would draw all type of things into it.”

Let me get this straight; Kanye West is begging people to not buy his albums, so he can become an exhibitionist. Excuse me for a minute:

Kanye,

For the record, I have never purchased a single note of your music. Please, do not consider this an endorsement of your new-found desire to display your jungle of love. It’s actually the exact opposite. In fact, if you agree to put more clothes on top of the clothes you’re already wearing, I’ll walk into Target right now and start punching anyone in the face that tries to buy your CDs. You’ll get less fans. I won’t have to see your cock, and everyone’s a winner.

Holla’ at your boy,

The Superficial Writer

P.S. Did you seriously just compare yourself to a petite female Icelandic singer? Wow. That’s messed up.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. ~*Adrienne*~

    Nigger!

  2. ~*Adrienne*~

    Nigger!

  3. ~*Adrienne*~

    Nigger!

  4. amanda

    i have no urge whatsoever to see him naked or buy his music…

  5. me

    Anyone posting after me sucks on Kanye West’s long black dong

  6. Carlos

    Kanye, you can go ahead and admit what the rest of the world already assumes about you. Your peculiar comments and odd behavior aren’t gonna keep that closet locked any tighter, fella.

  7. Sally

    To me or @ 5

    How do you know it is long unless you sucked it long and hard

    You fag.

  8. Ariella

    what exactly does he want to pose naked for?
    does want to do it for a magazine shoot, album cover, paparazzi style, playgirl, music video, porn, painting, or does he just want to hire a photographer to photograph him naked and release the photos to the press?

    i really don’t wanna see it regardless, he’s gross and oh so humble.

  9. Guest

    No offense; but black guys naked are NOT sexy

    Kanye is a super hot man, and I love him
    (I LOVE him)

    But he wouldn’t be sexy naked. Because black
    guys dicks look weird.

    That’s my opinion, don’t tell me i’m racist
    blah blah blah
    You know it’s true.

  10. 12=32

    Let me know when…!! shiiiii…He’s hot…

    And it’s so sad to see people make such racists comments. I hope the website takes them down.

  11. devilsrain

    Its got to piss you off when you have to shop in the childrens dept to get a tux. Plus the tie is as big as his head. Youd think with his money he could afford clothing that fits.

  12. 10pound

    knee grow home

  13. Guest

    My comment, #9,
    is not racist.

    If I said I don’t like white people
    naked because it looks weird – is that racist?

    No, it’s an opinion. Black people naked,
    to me is soooo un-sexy. Some people
    probably think that about white
    people do – I don’t care because it’s
    an opinion.

    OMFG #10

  14. Ariella

    i have no problem with black guys naked
    kanye west is just not attractive.
    if it were lil wayne on the other hand…

  15. Erica

    I don’t want to see him naked nor do I want to listen to his shitty music. It is overplayed and not even good.

  16. It's Me Fuckers

    too bad people didn’t like him as much as HE THINKS people like him. He is a whiny diva. Just like Axel Rose. Whiny male divas. If people liked him as much as he likes himself, then maybe he would actually win some awards. I have no respect for male whiny divas. Stupid cunts are surrounded by too many “yes” people to be able to see what happens in the real world.

  17. Paris Hilton

    Nobody wants to see that junk……

  18. Heather

    #14. Lil’ Wayne looks like a monkey. He has a nice body, but his face is gross.

  19. AXL

    Kanye has a really weird shaped head…I mean the one on his shoulders btw.

  20. twzzlrgirl

    Oh, please. This man is so in love with himself it’s disgusting.

    However, the Superfish writer is funny and awesome and I’m sure incredibly sexy. Muah!!! Great post ;)

  21. fhhhs

    Just more stupid TNB drama from Kanye . . .

  22. loved`

    true, ture @ # 14…. i love lil wayne!

  23. therightrub

    one time in a serious interview, i asked bjork if she thought she was better than kanye west. she cried for two and a half hours!!!!!!

    kanye ftw!

  24. bootlips

    The funny thing about the simian people is they plead for help like lost little children and then act like they’re royalty when given what they needed.

  25. Kitahara Nanase

    Even though I like his music, I’m still not hip to the idea of seeing him ass naked.

    No sirree. >_<

  26. Ariella

    @18
    i think his face works for him personally
    but if he were naked that could be a good distraction for those who only appreciate his body

  27. nicoe

    this guy is is on par with paris hilton in regards to dumb shit that comes out of his mouth and/or believing he is relevant. his music is no talent worse than robbie williams bullshit!

    i got the cd as a gift. listened to :05 seconds and tossed it out the car window on I-95…thing that sucks is i will never get to :05 seconds back….

  28. Air Mail

    Well, we already know he’s short on talent…

  29. grobpilot

    He really wants to show us his dried-up, dusty old cunt? Fuck off.

  30. lola richie

    He is very cute and takes care of himself. He could never be attractive due to his diva ways. His attitude is such a turn off and he looks like an asshole.

  31. Andrew

    What a fuckin’ poser. Sure he’s Kanye West, but he’s become a cliche….the douche rapper who has talent but thinks he’s bigger than God…..what a fuck. He’s got talent…but so do a million other people on Earth with out the money to make themselves known. Goddamn you’re the epitome of sellout…make good music, then be satisfied…don’t act like you’re the shit when you’re really just a fuckin’ mile marker in the long run. Be happy with happiness.
    peace

  32. meee

    i hate kanye west & his fat little chubby cheek problem. he double rhymes so damn often i want to punch him for thinking he’s so fucking awesome.

  33. ohkanye

    Um, Bjork’s sold over 15 million albums, and has toured her ass off for years. Something tell me she has money and fans. She gets away with doing crazy shit because she’s that eccentric chick from Iceland, not from a lesser pocketbook.

  34. Truth Doctor

    “I break every rule and mentality of hip-hop, of black culture, of American culture”

    Kanye, seriously, saying that you do this DOES NOT mean that you actually do. I would tell you that you talk a good game, but you don’t even really do that.

    Give 100 random people the choice between your best CD and anything by Miley Cyrus and you’d be LUCKY to sell 15 albums. Yes, lucky. Hm, what do you think that means? Care to take a guess?

    Hey, I’m not saying anything you don’t already know.

  35. Stiles

    He just wants to show off the “LV” he had lasered into his pubes.

  36. Jonathan

    OK, I’ll admit the guy has put out some decent songs, but I still wouldn’t mind seeing some knock this douchebag out.

  37. Petra

    @5
    I bet you’re like 13 or something. . .
    @ 9 / 13
    I agree completely

    ANYWAY,
    I like *some* of his songs and he’s only being obnoxious
    because thats part of his ‘image’. Come on people.
    Even though he’s really really cute and got nice clothes
    and nice lips,

    It was kind of dumb of him to say, but he has no
    hardcore fans anyway.

  38. Mr. Knievel

    Why don’t he and Diddy just come out of the closet together so we can be done with all their confused gay fugazi machismo. They’re like the Black Cruise and Travolta.

  39. shirleytemple

    PUAHAHAHAHA

    oh superfish… you killed with that love letter. if there were more hours in a day i would spend them wisely punching kanye fans as well. i hate that cocky fucker

  40. j

    his lyrics are equivalent to madonna’s. he gets attention for wearing sunglasses and liking electro (also like madonna). i hate him cause he’s a hipster all the other stupid hipsters look up to. i guess this fool will pay when 5 years from now, he’ll realize for the first time, no one cares about his butt naked ass.

  41. Kenya

    Fish, you’ve got your groove on tonight. Your post was hilarious and on the mark. Kanye West needs a serious reality check. I don’t particularly like his music, I am sick of hearing his arrogant and egotistical comments, and I REALLY don’t want to see him naked.

  42. Delgo

    Kanye was be dope on SNL.
    Y’all is just haters hating hate on Kanye.

    George Bush hates black people.

  43. Good ol’ Kanye! Doing our job for us! All we have to do is quote what he says and then draw a funny cartoon about it:

    http://starcasm.net/archives/2976

  44. Brandon

    Kanye is one of the biggest pieces of shit on the face of the planet, and his new album is fucking horrible.

  45. Commanda

    Nobody wants to see that. I’m having nightmares already. EWWW. His perofrmance on SNL was horrific at best. What a joke. LOL

  46. gorgehu1

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  48. gorgehu1

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  49. Hey there Superficial Writer:

    I am de-lurking this morning and commenting on this post. Your diatribe and letter to Kayne was laugh out loud funny. I log onto your site several times a day, usually just to get my celeb fix, but today I was happy to find oh-so-much more. Thank you!

    PS: Are your comments always this scary? If they are, I might be a bit afraid to come back to your comment board. Where have all of the shining, happy people gone? Don’t they care about celebrity trash?

  50. Kaybadass

    Kanye is an ass wad. Who the hell does he think he is? First, he’s comparing himself to Elvis and now he thinks he has too many fans?? Give me a fucking break. Kanye… You suck and so does your music. I never have and never will buy one of your records. Your music isnt even good enough to pirate online! Fall of the face of the earth… PLEASE.

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