Superstar rapper Kanye West wants to redefine the world of hip-hop as we know it. Except his plan involves showing you his testicles, and I’m literally not joking. Here’s what DJ Nudestein told the latest issue of Vibe:
“I definitely feel like, in the next however many years, if I work out for two months, that I’ll pose naked. I break every rule and mentality of hip-hop, of black culture, of American culture.”
Another obstacle in Kanye’s quest to flash his dong is the always irksome problem of having too many people love your music. That’s right. Kanye has too many fans, and he’s not ashamed to bitch about it:
“I want the freedom of having less fans. It’s like the freedom of having less money. If you have less money, you have less responsibility. It’s like Björk. If she wanted to pose naked, you’d be like: ‘Oh, that’s Björk. But if I wanted to pose naked, people would draw all type of things into it.”
Let me get this straight; Kanye West is begging people to not buy his albums, so he can become an exhibitionist. Excuse me for a minute:
Kanye,
For the record, I have never purchased a single note of your music. Please, do not consider this an endorsement of your new-found desire to display your jungle of love. It’s actually the exact opposite. In fact, if you agree to put more clothes on top of the clothes you’re already wearing, I’ll walk into Target right now and start punching anyone in the face that tries to buy your CDs. You’ll get less fans. I won’t have to see your cock, and everyone’s a winner.
Holla’ at your boy,
The Superficial Writer
P.S. Did you seriously just compare yourself to a petite female Icelandic singer? Wow. That’s messed up.
~*Adrienne*~ | January 11, 2009 at 6:04 pm
Nigger!
~*Adrienne*~ | January 11, 2009 at 6:04 pm
Nigger!
~*Adrienne*~ | January 11, 2009 at 6:04 pm
Nigger!
amanda | January 11, 2009 at 6:05 pm
i have no urge whatsoever to see him naked or buy his music…
me | January 11, 2009 at 6:15 pm
Anyone posting after me sucks on Kanye West’s long black dong
Carlos | January 11, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Kanye, you can go ahead and admit what the rest of the world already assumes about you. Your peculiar comments and odd behavior aren’t gonna keep that closet locked any tighter, fella.
Sally | January 11, 2009 at 6:31 pm
To me or @ 5
How do you know it is long unless you sucked it long and hard
You fag.
Ariella | January 11, 2009 at 6:32 pm
what exactly does he want to pose naked for?
does want to do it for a magazine shoot, album cover, paparazzi style, playgirl, music video, porn, painting, or does he just want to hire a photographer to photograph him naked and release the photos to the press?
i really don’t wanna see it regardless, he’s gross and oh so humble.
Guest | January 11, 2009 at 6:32 pm
No offense; but black guys naked are NOT sexy
Kanye is a super hot man, and I love him
(I LOVE him)
But he wouldn’t be sexy naked. Because black
guys dicks look weird.
That’s my opinion, don’t tell me i’m racist
blah blah blah
You know it’s true.
12=32 | January 11, 2009 at 6:41 pm
Let me know when…!! shiiiii…He’s hot…
And it’s so sad to see people make such racists comments. I hope the website takes them down.
devilsrain | January 11, 2009 at 6:47 pm
Its got to piss you off when you have to shop in the childrens dept to get a tux. Plus the tie is as big as his head. Youd think with his money he could afford clothing that fits.
10pound | January 11, 2009 at 6:59 pm
knee grow home
Guest | January 11, 2009 at 7:01 pm
My comment, #9,
is not racist.
If I said I don’t like white people
naked because it looks weird – is that racist?
No, it’s an opinion. Black people naked,
to me is soooo un-sexy. Some people
probably think that about white
people do – I don’t care because it’s
an opinion.
OMFG #10
Ariella | January 11, 2009 at 7:03 pm
i have no problem with black guys naked
kanye west is just not attractive.
if it were lil wayne on the other hand…
Erica | January 11, 2009 at 7:06 pm
I don’t want to see him naked nor do I want to listen to his shitty music. It is overplayed and not even good.
It's Me Fuckers | January 11, 2009 at 7:07 pm
too bad people didn’t like him as much as HE THINKS people like him. He is a whiny diva. Just like Axel Rose. Whiny male divas. If people liked him as much as he likes himself, then maybe he would actually win some awards. I have no respect for male whiny divas. Stupid cunts are surrounded by too many “yes” people to be able to see what happens in the real world.
Paris Hilton | January 11, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Nobody wants to see that junk……
Heather | January 11, 2009 at 7:08 pm
#14. Lil’ Wayne looks like a monkey. He has a nice body, but his face is gross.
AXL | January 11, 2009 at 7:11 pm
Kanye has a really weird shaped head…I mean the one on his shoulders btw.
twzzlrgirl | January 11, 2009 at 7:16 pm
Oh, please. This man is so in love with himself it’s disgusting.
However, the Superfish writer is funny and awesome and I’m sure incredibly sexy. Muah!!! Great post ;)
fhhhs | January 11, 2009 at 7:41 pm
Just more stupid TNB drama from Kanye . . .
loved` | January 11, 2009 at 7:53 pm
true, ture @ # 14…. i love lil wayne!
therightrub | January 11, 2009 at 8:08 pm
one time in a serious interview, i asked bjork if she thought she was better than kanye west. she cried for two and a half hours!!!!!!
kanye ftw!
bootlips | January 11, 2009 at 8:23 pm
The funny thing about the simian people is they plead for help like lost little children and then act like they’re royalty when given what they needed.
Kitahara Nanase | January 11, 2009 at 8:39 pm
Even though I like his music, I’m still not hip to the idea of seeing him ass naked.
No sirree. >_<
Ariella | January 11, 2009 at 8:40 pm
@18
i think his face works for him personally
but if he were naked that could be a good distraction for those who only appreciate his body
nicoe | January 11, 2009 at 8:53 pm
this guy is is on par with paris hilton in regards to dumb shit that comes out of his mouth and/or believing he is relevant. his music is no talent worse than robbie williams bullshit!
i got the cd as a gift. listened to :05 seconds and tossed it out the car window on I-95…thing that sucks is i will never get to :05 seconds back….
Air Mail | January 11, 2009 at 9:02 pm
Well, we already know he’s short on talent…
grobpilot | January 11, 2009 at 9:12 pm
He really wants to show us his dried-up, dusty old cunt? Fuck off.
lola richie | January 11, 2009 at 9:45 pm
He is very cute and takes care of himself. He could never be attractive due to his diva ways. His attitude is such a turn off and he looks like an asshole.
Andrew | January 11, 2009 at 10:10 pm
What a fuckin’ poser. Sure he’s Kanye West, but he’s become a cliche….the douche rapper who has talent but thinks he’s bigger than God…..what a fuck. He’s got talent…but so do a million other people on Earth with out the money to make themselves known. Goddamn you’re the epitome of sellout…make good music, then be satisfied…don’t act like you’re the shit when you’re really just a fuckin’ mile marker in the long run. Be happy with happiness.
peace
meee | January 11, 2009 at 10:12 pm
i hate kanye west & his fat little chubby cheek problem. he double rhymes so damn often i want to punch him for thinking he’s so fucking awesome.
ohkanye | January 11, 2009 at 10:20 pm
Um, Bjork’s sold over 15 million albums, and has toured her ass off for years. Something tell me she has money and fans. She gets away with doing crazy shit because she’s that eccentric chick from Iceland, not from a lesser pocketbook.
Truth Doctor | January 11, 2009 at 10:23 pm
“I break every rule and mentality of hip-hop, of black culture, of American culture”
Kanye, seriously, saying that you do this DOES NOT mean that you actually do. I would tell you that you talk a good game, but you don’t even really do that.
Give 100 random people the choice between your best CD and anything by Miley Cyrus and you’d be LUCKY to sell 15 albums. Yes, lucky. Hm, what do you think that means? Care to take a guess?
Hey, I’m not saying anything you don’t already know.
Stiles | January 11, 2009 at 10:54 pm
He just wants to show off the “LV” he had lasered into his pubes.
Jonathan | January 11, 2009 at 11:07 pm
OK, I’ll admit the guy has put out some decent songs, but I still wouldn’t mind seeing some knock this douchebag out.
Petra | January 11, 2009 at 11:15 pm
@5
I bet you’re like 13 or something. . .
@ 9 / 13
I agree completely
ANYWAY,
I like *some* of his songs and he’s only being obnoxious
because thats part of his ‘image’. Come on people.
Even though he’s really really cute and got nice clothes
and nice lips,
It was kind of dumb of him to say, but he has no
hardcore fans anyway.
Mr. Knievel | January 11, 2009 at 11:45 pm
Why don’t he and Diddy just come out of the closet together so we can be done with all their confused gay fugazi machismo. They’re like the Black Cruise and Travolta.
shirleytemple | January 12, 2009 at 12:09 am
PUAHAHAHAHA
oh superfish… you killed with that love letter. if there were more hours in a day i would spend them wisely punching kanye fans as well. i hate that cocky fucker
j | January 12, 2009 at 12:13 am
his lyrics are equivalent to madonna’s. he gets attention for wearing sunglasses and liking electro (also like madonna). i hate him cause he’s a hipster all the other stupid hipsters look up to. i guess this fool will pay when 5 years from now, he’ll realize for the first time, no one cares about his butt naked ass.
Kenya | January 12, 2009 at 12:17 am
Fish, you’ve got your groove on tonight. Your post was hilarious and on the mark. Kanye West needs a serious reality check. I don’t particularly like his music, I am sick of hearing his arrogant and egotistical comments, and I REALLY don’t want to see him naked.
Delgo | January 12, 2009 at 2:11 am
Kanye was be dope on SNL.
Y’all is just haters hating hate on Kanye.
George Bush hates black people.
Starcasm | January 12, 2009 at 2:47 am
Good ol’ Kanye! Doing our job for us! All we have to do is quote what he says and then draw a funny cartoon about it:
http://starcasm.net/archives/2976
Brandon | January 12, 2009 at 3:32 am
Kanye is one of the biggest pieces of shit on the face of the planet, and his new album is fucking horrible.
Commanda | January 12, 2009 at 4:05 am
Nobody wants to see that. I’m having nightmares already. EWWW. His perofrmance on SNL was horrific at best. What a joke. LOL
gorgehu1 | January 12, 2009 at 7:46 am
I am a Chinese college teacher, because the goods’ price in China is the lowest, and the quality is superior. So, if you want to buy Chinese handiwork, speciality, goods etc. for yourself or as gifts to your boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, juniors and so on. I can help you in china, even though one piece, the commission is 2 %, and part of the commission will be given to the poor children. Please send your information to gorgehu1@live.cn or talk with me through msn messenger. Including buying for you, investment, management, hotel, amendment, marketing, analysis, program, translation, etc.
gorgehu1 | January 12, 2009 at 7:46 am
I am a Chinese college teacher, because the goods’ price in China is the lowest, and the quality is superior. So, if you want to buy Chinese handiwork, speciality, goods etc. for yourself or as gifts to your boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, juniors and so on. I can help you in china, even though one piece, the commission is 2 %, and part of the commission will be given to the poor children. Please send your information to gorgehu1@live.cn or talk with me through msn messenger. Including buying for you, investment, management, hotel, amendment, marketing, analysis, program, translation, etc.
gorgehu1 | January 12, 2009 at 7:48 am
I am a Chinese college teacher, because the goods’ price in China is the lowest, and the quality is superior. So, if you want to buy Chinese handiwork, speciality, goods etc. for yourself or as gifts to your boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, juniors and so on. I can help you in china, even though one piece, the commission is 2 %, and part of the commission will be given to the poor children. Please send your information to gorgehu1@live.cn or talk with me through msn messenger. Including buying for you, investment, management, hotel, amendment, marketing, analysis, program, translation, etc.
Three Bay B Chicks | January 12, 2009 at 8:22 am
Hey there Superficial Writer:
I am de-lurking this morning and commenting on this post. Your diatribe and letter to Kayne was laugh out loud funny. I log onto your site several times a day, usually just to get my celeb fix, but today I was happy to find oh-so-much more. Thank you!
PS: Are your comments always this scary? If they are, I might be a bit afraid to come back to your comment board. Where have all of the shining, happy people gone? Don’t they care about celebrity trash?
Kaybadass | January 12, 2009 at 9:00 am
Kanye is an ass wad. Who the hell does he think he is? First, he’s comparing himself to Elvis and now he thinks he has too many fans?? Give me a fucking break. Kanye… You suck and so does your music. I never have and never will buy one of your records. Your music isnt even good enough to pirate online! Fall of the face of the earth… PLEASE.