KANYE WEST DENIES BISEXUAL PORN RUMORS! DEMANDS HIS OWN GREATNESS!

January 23rd, 2009 // 146 Comments

Kanye West took to his blog to deny false reports that he is open to doing bisexual porn. His argument? The freshness of his suit above. You can’t make this shit up:

YOOOO WHY WON’T YOU LET ME BE GREAT!!! I HAD THE TWO GREATEST DAYS OF MY LIFE AND WHEN I GET BACK FROM THE LOUIE SHOW I READ SOME SHIT CLAIMING I SAID I’M DOWN TO DO PORN AND SOME BISEXUAL PORN!!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THE AVN WOULD POST FIRST PEOPLE BELIEVED THE TWITTER/STEVEN COLBERT THING, ROLLING STONE EVEN PRINTED IT!!!! NOW SOMEBODY HAS BEEN HACKING INTO MY MYSPACE AND SOMEBODY’S ACTUALLY HACKED INTO MY PERSONAL GMAIL ACCOUNT AND HAS BEEN EMAILING PEOPLE FROM IT… HEY WORLD I NO LONGER HAVE A GMAIL! I FOUND OUT I HAD TWELVE UNAUTHORIZED SKYPE ACCOUNTS UNDER MY NAME!!! THIS ALL IN THE PAST FOUR DAYS. WELCOME TO KANYE WEST WORLD! …. IT’S NOT OFFICIAL. I JUST GAVE THE PERFORMANCE OF MY LIFETIME FOR OUR NEW PRESIDENT … THEN I FLEW TO PARIS AND THEY DEBUTED MY NEW SHOES THAT I DESIGNED WITH LOUIE VUITTON WHICH WAS A DREAM COME TRUE. PLEASE I BEG YOU, GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME BE GREAT!!! WHO HAVE I HURT SO BAD THAT THEY WANT TO DESTROY ME? WHO HAVE I EVER SPOKE ABOUT SO NEGATIVELY? I JUST WAS SPEAKING WITH OUR NEW PRESIDENT TWO DAYS AGO… AND NOW THIS…. SIDEBAR… NEVER TAKE A PICTURE FROM MY OBAMA PERFORMANCE AND PUT IT NEXT TO A BS QUOTE LIKE THAT! THAT’S IN POOR TASTE! THAT UNDERMINES WHAT MY CONTRIBUTION TO THAT EVENT WAS AND SLAPS EVERYBODY WHO FELT UPLIFTED BY THAT PERFORMANCE IN THE FACE! A PICTURE SAYS A THOUSAND WORDS… LOOK HOW FRESH MY SUIT IS… NUFF SAID!

So, basically, an attack on Kanye’s suit is an attack on America? Then call me a terrorist because what the fuck are you talking about?! Also, here’s something that’s great: The “Shift” key. Not only does it make your shit legible, but it doesn’t perpetuate horrible stereotypes. Seriously, your typing is a slap in the face to anyone who is uplifted by the Internet’s ability to provide people of all colors that South Park video where Stan’s dad yells “OBAMA!” Nuff said.

Photos: Getty, WENN
superficial

  1. havoc

    “Why won’t you let me be great?”

    I am so using that….

    .

  2. wtf

    it’s Louis Vuitton you classless idiot.

  3. Caps Lock is Cruise Control for COOL!!!

    Suckitkanye

  4. Bob

    Is it me or is he looking more and more like Mr. T?

  5. Bob

    Is it me or is he looking more and more like Mr. T?

  6. eww

    mullet

  7. chicago

    50 cent has got the bullseye on him. If he had stayed true to his roots he’d still be great, but no one will be there for him when his music is weak

  8. Joanna Green

    Whatever…Nice “Afro-Mullet” Kanye. Give me a break. My cat would look better in that suit and the gloves to boot, while crying into a red flashlight.

  9. Kanye

    EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT!

  10. skating on glue

    “Is it me or is he looking more and more like Mr. T?”

    that wee pixie could never be more than a Mr. t. – as in little t.

  11. damn you #8 I wanted to make a witty comment about his proto-mullet! Is it just me, or he looking more and more like Ian Zehring(Steve, the cool one, from 90210)?

  12. Lisa from NZ

    Kia Ora, my gorgeous friends around the world!! If you’ve ever seen Kanye perform live, you’ll know that he CAN”T SING & HAS NO TALENT! I don’t understand how someone can be so ‘up themselves’ without good reason. Seem to be a lot of ‘celebrities’ like that nowadays.
    The clothes do NOT maketh the man..

  13. CHenshaw

    This guy is so obviously suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

  14. Jake

    Whats with the black mullet? Can’t white people have anything?

  15. EveryonePoops

    Barack Obama doesn’t care about white people.

  16. Danklin24

    For the love of God, why didnt whoever shot Biggie wait a few years for this jackhole to get “famous” and start pissing people off?

    Its Louis Vuitton you fucking moron. You’d think if you were spending so much time with him making your gay overpriced shoes, he’d know that.

    Let me be great?? Okay the first step to that would be DO SOMETHING GREAT and original. Jesus, i can think of 12 rappers now that are better than this dickhole. MC Hammer is one of them. Vanilla Ice is another.

  17. Li

    Its Louis Vuitton. Not “LOUIE”…

  18. Li

    Its Louis Vuitton. Not “LOUIE”…

  19. Jerod Cykoski

    THERE ARE NOT NEARLY ENOUGH CAPS USED IN THE SARCASTIC COMMENTS ABOVE.

  20. kitty

    I guess that means he doesn’t care about half of his family which is white

  21. Dude – Hit the Shift key on the hair! Are you trying out for Bel Div Devoe?

  22. Captain_Insano

    What a fucking retard. Nice “frolet” retard. He’s the biggest retarded retard I’ve ever seen.

  23. EveryonePoops

    kitty, I was joking. Christ. Are you another victim of cultural amnesia? He made that ridiculous remark about Bush not caring about white people just over three years ago.

  24. Big Al

    Kanye (if that is his real name) West is a punk. Period. He is a talentless puke who makes crappy music. And he has big teeth.

  25. testing

    I really hate him soooooooooo much. I really cant decide who I hate more Tom Cruise or this d-bad

  26. Cathy

    LOVE THE TITLE OF THIS ARTICLE!!!!!!!
    #20 I GOT YOU!!!!!

  27. JP

    Yes, Kanye, your suit is really “fresh”. Especially with that horrendous double crease on the left front pant leg and the obvious clip on bowtie. Very nice indeed.

  28. JP

    Yes, Kanye, your suit is really “fresh”. Especially with that horrendous double crease on the left front pant leg and the obvious clip on bowtie. Very nice indeed.

  29. selhey

    What is it that we all are not getting? KKKKanYee??? Go away KKKKanyee…BMM BMM is not about you…BMM MM.

  30. JP

    A double post for your double crease. Nice “frullet” you homo.

  31. p0nk

    capslock is on the left there, mr. important guy.

  32. whatafaggot

    wow. hes fucking retarded. i hope he makes a gay porno with obama. cause they both suck dick.

  33. Sam

    Why on earth would anybody believe that Kanye would want to do bisexual porn? Well, I guess I should say, aside from his severe chronic premenstrual syndrome…

  34. Pathetic Worm

    INSECURE… AND A LITTLE TURNED ON

  35. bean bag

    please someone, kill him. he’s the most overrated, untalented smoke all time.

  36. Turd Ferguson

    This ass-clown is this biggest piece of shit since the one that caused Elvis to croak on the pot.
    Why, oh why, do people think the incoherent rambling this idiot produces is even remotely close to “music”?

    (sigh)

  37. Charlie Caligula

    Insecurity doesn’t equal greatness, homophobic fuck.

  38. Afikpo Chic

    jesus this dude needs a reality check. God called and insinuated that he does not take kindly to competetion, kanye. so quit playing God.

  39. Fuck You Kanye!

    Look, I can type in all caps too…

    FUCK YOU KANYE WEST! YOU SUCK THE SWEAT OFF A DEAD DONKEY’S ASS! DO EVERYONE A FAVOR AND GO JUMP OFF THE NEAREST CLIFF. FFFUUUCCCKKK OOOFFFFFF!!!

  40. Afikpo Chic

    E G O!!!

  41. # 23 ” Frolet ” is effing genius I just pissed myself laughing !

  42. The better question is: Why won’t we just let you be hit by a car and die? Ugh. What a GIANT fucking douche bag. Do people actually pay for his shit? Let them be hit by a car too.

    It’s Louis, not Louie.
    What’s the other dumb thing he typed? Oh right, all of it.

    WHAT A DOUCHHHHHHHEEEEEE!!!!!!

  43. Alphonso De Negroid Hayter

    Coonyay West needs to adjust his sweater vest a little and waltz out of the closet already. That chubby chimp never shuts his fucking mouth…he ought to fill that gaping maw with a banana or DMX’s dick.

  44. Zanna

    Maybe it’s the way you hold that dickraphone up to your mouth, ya CAPS LOCKS havin’, fresh suit wearing MOTHERFUCKER!

  45. justifiable

    Fuckin’ megalomaniac crybaby. You know that’s a damn Louis Vuitton diaper, not a display hanky, in his breast pocket.

  46. Shred

    the idiot compared himself to Patrick Bateman…nuff said

  47. Shred

    the idiot compared himself to Patrick Bateman…nuff said

  48. Kristi

    Who could have he talked about and hurt so much that they would do this?
    Maybe George Bush has been hacking into his accounts. B/c George Bush hates black people including Kanye…no, ESPECIALLY Kanye.

    BTW–Kanye is a Democrat so he should be open-minded. Why is he so pissed about someone mentioning bi-sexual porn? If he’s open-minded he could just say. “Hey Im not into guys at all” and leave it be. But he goes off like being homosexual or bi-sexual is something bad. He’s a very bad liberal and should submit an apology to the gay community.

  49. Pathetic Worm

    I’m a homophobic fuck!

    … and a little turned on.

Leave A Comment