Kanye Won’t Be In The Delivery Room When Kim Kardashian Gives Birth

June 5th, 2013 // 47 Comments
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Just to make my joke about Kanye West and Kim Kardashian from earlier today extra poignanty, here’s In Touch reporting he won’t be in the delivery room because blood is icky:

In Touch can exclusively reveal that although Kanye has assured his pregnant girlfriend Kim Kardashian he plans to be at the hospital when she goes into labor, “he won’t physically be in the delivery room,” an insider tells the mag, on newsstands now, adding, “He’s very squeamish and doesn’t want to be around blood.”

In Kanye’s defense, we should all honestly be surprised he’s going to be in the same building as Kim let alone the same country, but just for the record, he does know that if he’s not in the delivery room, they can still prove he’s the father, right? That’s just an old wives’ tale.

Photos: Getty, WENN


  1. FattyFatty2X4

    I’d be frightened to see Ms Kimmy’s downstairs up close too.
    Hell, her Labia could be worn as a shower cap

  2. Cock Dr

    Yes, it might be best not to watch that in person.
    Of course there will be lights & hidef cameras shoved up between the thighs as soon as she feels the first contraction. The Animal Planet show isn’t enough to satisfy the enormous cable TV appetite for large mammalian birth video.

  3. Bill

    Nor in the hospital, city, county, state, country or continent.

  4. Jazzy Jeff

    They used a turkey baster to knock her up. He’s a gay fish. He wouldn’t want to be near any vag in the delivery room.

  5. No way she squirts this kid out naturally. C-section, “mommy tuck,” and a fat epidural.

  6. Urbanspaceman

    Labor? Who are they trying to kid? The doctor will have the scalpel going before she feels the first contraction. The posh do not push.

  7. Kim Kardashian Leg Met Gala Pregnant Kanye West
    Commented on this photo:

    Won’t be in the delivery room because he’s squeamish? What a big fucking pussy he is.

  8. I don’t blame him.

    Calving is a pretty intense process. First they’ll put Kim in a head gate to restrain her. Then after the farmer (K. Jenner?) digs around elbow deep her vag to get the calf in position they’ll attach chains to his front legs, brace the calf puller against kim’s thunder thighs, then ratchet that fucker out.

  9. WTF? Kanye you such a little bitch! You too squeamish? Give me a freakin break! I feel so bad for your child and the lack of parenting skills you will have,being you won’t even be in the delivery room.

    • Little Tongue

      That kid is better off without her mouthbreathing father anyway… On the other hand, her mother sucks (pun intended) as well… Well, she’s probably commit suicide by the time she’s 2. Next subject, please.

  10. ThisWillHurt

    “That was great sex, Kanye. Pee on me.”
    “No problem, girl.”
    “Will you be in the delivery room when I give birth?”
    “Ew! I’d have to see all the icky stuff that comes out of your fun hole! Now watch your eyes!”

  11. Kayne wont be in the delivery room because he’ll be getting butt fucked in a flat in Paris, screaming “TELL ME IM A GENIUS! SAY IT!”

  12. JC

    Kanye West does not care about half-black/half-sasquatch babies.

  13. Minky Wail

    What “delivery”? The medical team will consist of an obgyn and a catcher’s mitt.

  14. grobpilot

    I think that she’ll wonder if the baby’s hers while she’s squirting that thing out.

  15. Bane

    He won’t be in the room because they need the space for the camera crew and the entire Kardashian clan. The only people who actually give a shit.

    • Next time, just so you get the wording exactly right, copy and paste Cock Dr‘s post. You’ll find it considerably easier than having to type it all out by hand, and you won’t have to try to remember so much.

  16. U.R. O'Philiac

    Doctor: “Irrigation! Stat!”
    Ray J: “Stand aside, I got this.”

  17. Apparently Kanye remembered reading “All Creatures Great and Small” and decided he wanted no part of that.

  18. Batu Khan

    Kanye got excited for a minute when the vet talked about 2 feet long rubber gloves and lotion but the speech about calving in a barn was too much.

  19. Billy Crystal is suiting up.

  20. Dan

    Don’t blame him. Delivery rooms are for doctors. I wouldn’t want to watch that shit either.

  21. Kanye just doesn’t want to end up like Rip Torn in elephant scene from Freddy Got Fingered, when she unleashes her afterbirth.

  22. So, “(Kanye is) very squeamish and doesn’t want to be around blood.”
    Then he’ll probably want to close his eyes when someone beats him senseless and cuts his fucking throat!

  23. BSName

    Who is he kidding? Kanye Won’t Even Be In The CountryWhen Kim Kardashian Gives Birth.

  24. Guest

    I feel really bad for her if he really isn’t going to be in the delivery room. It must be pretty devastating to have the father of your child (if you are in love with him and in a relationship with him) not want to be there when his child is born. He already seems like he has other priorities other than being around her, while she is pregnant, and I feel for her.

    What’s saddest of all though, is scrolling through the comments section of this article. How cruel are you people? Why are you saying things about an innocent unborn child and wishing bad things upon it? You can say what you want about people in the media or celebrities but ask yourself what talents you have, ask yourselves what mistakes you have made – “let he who is without sin cast the first stone” as they say.

    Maybe this woman has made mistakes, and lapses in judgement, but just leave her alone. If you don’t like her don’t watch the show and don’t comment on things – just boycott it if you want to – but there’s no need to go around spitting your cruelty out at people – it makes you just as bad (if not worse) than the very people YOU are judging.

    P.S. I wish the baby good health and a safe delivery. Good luck to the family and mother. Peace.

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