Kanye West Wants World Leaders At His Funeral

Let me just preface this by saying, if you thought you knew how egotistical Kanye West is, you’ve clearly never asked him who he wants to be at his funeral because you’re not running around screaming, “Oh, God, Jesus, his head! His head is pushing us all off the Earth! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!” Via Vulture:

“I was just thinking about my funeral and stuff a couple days ago and thinking who would be at the funeral,” Yeezy says, measured and seemingly sans braggadocio. “People who I want to be in the funeral? I wanna have world leaders that were, like, affected, that said, you know, ‘Kanye gave me my shot here.’ Or ‘he pushed me,’ or ‘he told me to believe in myself,’ or ‘when I saw this, it made me feel like that.’ I wanna affect people like that when I, like, pass away.”
The clip, a one-off free stream from the $5-monthly service VOYR, also lets you watch Kanye do Kanye things like put on gold bracelets and Air Yeezy sneakers. “I’m on a pursuit of awesomeness,” he says. “Excellence is the bare minimum.”

Kanye West Memorial Service – March 4, 2046

Barack Obama – United States
“Do I act on the intelligence and make a run at Bin Laden? Or do I wait until we have more definitive evidence? That’s when Kanye rappelled through the window, commented on the lack of jelly donuts – ‘How’m I supposed to save the world with cinnamon? Cinnamon!,’ he said. – and proceed to coordinate a plan with myself and the Joint Chiefs of Staff. I believe his suggestion was, ‘Sometimes I play them video games, and my boy with the snifer rifle is all like, ‘PLOW!’ shooting me in the dick from up in the trees or something. Shit’s infuriatin’.’

“We bagged Bin Laden that night.”

Nicolas Sarkozy – France
“‘I don’t give a fuck what that pack of Parliaments gonna say, bitch is hot. If you don’t try to hit that, cheese man, I’mma do it myself.’ And, God bless him, he actually tried.”

Chancellor Angela Merkel – Germany
“While other nations responded to economic strife with kneejerk austerity, it was Kanye who called me on the phone and said, ‘Angela, bitch, you gotta spend that money or else Matt Lauer will break into your house and put thoughts into your brain. Thoughts that make you think, ‘Huh, maybe I’m not Jesus and Michael Jackson’s secret son.’ But you are, Angela. You are. You their motherfuckin’ dancin’ bastard.'”

Photo: Getty