Let me just preface this by saying, if you thought you knew how egotistical Kanye West is, you’ve clearly never asked him who he wants to be at his funeral because you’re not running around screaming, “Oh, God, Jesus, his head! His head is pushing us all off the Earth! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!” Via Vulture:
“I was just thinking about my funeral and stuff a couple days ago and thinking who would be at the funeral,” Yeezy says, measured and seemingly sans braggadocio. “People who I want to be in the funeral? I wanna have world leaders that were, like, affected, that said, you know, ‘Kanye gave me my shot here.’ Or ‘he pushed me,’ or ‘he told me to believe in myself,’ or ‘when I saw this, it made me feel like that.’ I wanna affect people like that when I, like, pass away.”
The clip, a one-off free stream from the $5-monthly service VOYR, also lets you watch Kanye do Kanye things like put on gold bracelets and Air Yeezy sneakers. “I’m on a pursuit of awesomeness,” he says. “Excellence is the bare minimum.”
Kanye West Memorial Service – March 4, 2046
Barack Obama – United States
“Do I act on the intelligence and make a run at Bin Laden? Or do I wait until we have more definitive evidence? That’s when Kanye rappelled through the window, commented on the lack of jelly donuts – ‘How’m I supposed to save the world with cinnamon? Cinnamon!,’ he said. – and proceed to coordinate a plan with myself and the Joint Chiefs of Staff. I believe his suggestion was, ‘Sometimes I play them video games, and my boy with the snifer rifle is all like, ‘PLOW!’ shooting me in the dick from up in the trees or something. Shit’s infuriatin’.’
“We bagged Bin Laden that night.”
Nicolas Sarkozy – France
“‘I don’t give a fuck what that pack of Parliaments gonna say, bitch is hot. If you don’t try to hit that, cheese man, I’mma do it myself.’ And, God bless him, he actually tried.”
Chancellor Angela Merkel – Germany
“While other nations responded to economic strife with kneejerk austerity, it was Kanye who called me on the phone and said, ‘Angela, bitch, you gotta spend that money or else Matt Lauer will break into your house and put thoughts into your brain. Thoughts that make you think, ‘Huh, maybe I’m not Jesus and Michael Jackson’s secret son.’ But you are, Angela. You are. You their motherfuckin’ dancin’ bastard.’”
Photo: Getty
He is clinically insane.
i could see this retard as a dictator of some country and a portrait of himself would be on every corner and every biilboard and every building. he would claim to be the inventor of everything in the world and then he would also claim to be God himself. the man is a dipshit, nutbag, asshole. when i read the article, at first, i was hoping he was actually going to die soon and he was making his list of the morons he’d want to carry his coffin. i’d go and bring fireworks and champagne. what the hell did this guy’s mother do to him to make this arrogant asshole so self-absorbed.
nah just a dickhead!
Foist
GODDAMNIT, Fish. You had me excited for a minute. I thought you meant his funeral was imminent. Like tomorrow.
I saw the word “funeral” and for a split second thought the fucker actually died recently and I’d somehow some way missed the news about it. Damnit.
Forget world leaders, absolutely no one, no one is coming to this asshole egotistical narcissist’s funeral.
On a positive note does this mean he is planning to kill himself? I have room on the plane heading into a mountainside along with the Kardashians, Jersey Shore cast, Kate Gosselin and Ryan Seacrest.
How about Spencer Pratt? Think you could squeeze him in?
Yep, Chris Brown too.
you’re gonna need a bigger plane.
I’d go if I was permitted to defecate on his coffin.
Plane? Mountainside? Mediocrity. Spaceship? Sun? Excellence.
Cocain is a helluva drug
e*
good thing you came back and put that “e” on there otherwise i would have been stumped for ever…
I’LL go to his funeral if he’ll just die soon.
I loved this. Classic superficial post.
Kanye West= Martin Lawrence + mediocre musical talent
It’s not a very difficult equation or course.
If he had any honest foresight and courtesy he’d request that a toilet paper holder be attached to this gravestone. Besides, we all know that President Taylor Swift will make sure all the other world leaders are too busy to attend his funeral anyway.
To be fair (and to play devil’s advocate), he said he would WANT them to be there, and he would WANT them to be affected by his music. He didn’t say they should be or they will be.
Most artists hope for people to be affected in a positive way by their music, so I’m not going to blame him for this one.
i’m so affected by his music, i have to change it immediately when it comes on the radio.
He didn’t say he wanted people, he said he wanted world leaders. In other words, so far as Kanye is concerned, you can stay home that day.
I wouldn’t know this asshole’s music if I heard it. And frankly, after what he did to Taylor Swift, I don’t give two shits and a goat fuck if he were John Lennon, he’s still an arrogant, self-centered, mouth-breathing cocksucker! (I wish I could put into words how I REALLY feel!)
He didnt SHOUT that stuff. Obviously fake. WHY WONT YOU LET ME BE GREAT!
Kanye loves fishsticks.
what is he, a gay fish?
“Practice, Practice??! We TALKIN BOUT..PRACTICE.”
It’s remarks like this that make me LOVEHATE this douche rabbit. That & his crack-catchy “music.”
Kanye is a boring middle class kid from the suburbs who couldn’t get a contract because he wasn’t street enough. This shit is how he keeps people talking about him… and buying what he’s selling… nothing more and nothing less.
Can anyone name even one of his songs without resorting to Google?
Nope!
Wasn’t there some song about Jesus that they used on the soundtrack for Jarhead, which took place during the Gulf War, years before Kanye recorded anything? That’s my answer, the Jesus song.
Jesus Walks, after that I got nothing.
Didn’t he do the stuck in the closet thing? (I only know that because Weird Al’s “Stuck in a drivethrough is SOOOOOOO much better)
R Kelly did the “Closet” series, not Kanye.
@Smapdi: I can name several of his songs right off the top of my head. I’m indifferent about Mr. West, but I do like some of his songs.
At least Mohammed Ali had something to back up his bravado. This douche is a shit stain on the world and he doesn’t even know it.
You’ve earned your pay for the week with that post, I’m giving you the weekend off!
Strong ambition indeed.
Also,.. I will personally petition drive all these leaders to his grave site if he’ll just agree to die within the next week.
Let’s just hope it is real soon….
Let’s all hope he die’s real soon so his dream could come true.
Ugh. I wish him, the Kardoucheians and Jessica Simpson’s big fat tits would all go live on a fuckin’ island somewhere.
The only pop star that needs world leaders at their funeral is Madonna. That requires a Pope, a member of the English royalty, and Vladimir Putin (just in case the ritual fails).
Courtney Stodden needs to divorce her current hubby and marry Kanye. They are two of a kind.
pssssssssssst: WHITE COCKC ARE HIS BEST FRIENDS FOR HIS MOUT & ANUS!!
If it’s a funeral he’s interested in, I’d gladly make it happen tomorrow. Prick
The funny thing that he apparently doesn’t realize is that while Obama probably knows who he is, I doubt any other world leader has ever heard of him.
When he dies, people will respond who?
looks lika one of them Waterhead kids.
I hate this pretentious cunt. He actually thinks that he’s going to affect the world with his ghetto songs? Fuck you bitch you’re nothing, no one gives a damn about some hood rat. Thinking he makes a difference in the world, ya right bitch fuck off and die.
I even doubt that Obama knows who he really is, probably think it’s a gutter rat pretending to be a famous singer, not.
amazing bod
what a koonye
you can tell she has the kind of boobs that sag without a bra
face of a 5 year old