What Stupid Shit Did Kanye Say Now?

Thanks to the Oscars, I completely missed one of my favorite pastimes: Writing and laughing at the stupid shit that comes out of Kanye’s mouth. So let’s jump right in:

Dead Mom: The Video Game

While the video game industry is on fire with news that Batman: Arkham Knight is rated ‘M’, Kanye announced an upcoming game where you basically press “Up” the whole time. Until you don’t. Via Kotaku:

“So right now I’m working on a video game for ‘Only One.’ The idea is, it’s my mother going through the gates of heaven and you have to bring her to the highest gates of heaven by holding her to the light. We’ve been working on it for like six months.”

This, of course, pales in comparison to the first video game he designed at the age of 12 which was Super Mario Bros. but with penises:

My game was very sexual. The main character was, like, a giant penis. It was like Mario Brothers, but the ghosts were, like, vaginas. Mind you, I’m 12 years old, and this is stuff 30-year-olds are programming. You’d have to draw in and program every little step-it literally took me all night to do a step, ’cause the penis, y’know, had little feet and eyes.

And now I want an updated game where Mario saves the Princess and then pees on her. Goddammit.

Kim Kardashian Inspires Beyonce. Yup.

Kanye West literally said these words about Beyonce and Kim Kardashian out loud to another human being. The gravity of that sentence will hit you in a second:

“They love each other, they respect each other. When Beyonce’s working on her album, she has pictures of Kim on the wall because Kim represents powerful women. Kim plays ‘7/11′ for our daughter. They definitely respect each other, but maybe there’s a Lebron James-Kobe [Bryant] element to it, but I can’t say that.”

Beyonce is an experienced singer/musician/performing artist with over two decades of work experience in the business. Here’s what Kim Kardashian said when The Guardian asked her what her talent is:

“What is my talent?” She cocks her head to one side. “Well, a bear can juggle and stand on a ball and he’s talented, but he’s not famous. Do you know what I mean?”

Kim Kardashian’s talent is being famous for not having a talent. That’s the powerful woman who inspires Beyonce. I’mma let black ladies on the Internet handle this one (h/t Uproxx):

Photo: Getty