I don’t even know where to start here because in the past 24 hours both R. Kelly and Kanye West have spouted such spectacular horseshit that it’s a miracle the people who heard it spoken aloud for the first time didn’t scream in horror as their mind tore itself into two separate hemispheres that began pissing on each other. Science will never be able to explain it, mark my words. So let’s start with Kanye who should probably never hook up with Tila Tequila unless everyone wants to see another Holocaust riding on the back of a midget in leather jogging pants. Via Huffington Post:
“Man, let me tell you something about George Bush and oil money and Obama and no money,” West said.
“People want to say Obama can’t make these moves or he’s not executing. That’s because he ain’t got those connections. Black people don’t have the same level of connections as Jewish people. Black people don’t have the same connection as oil people.”
West went on to say, “Can you guarantee that your daughter can get a job at this radio station? But if you own this radio station, you could guarantee that. That’s what I’m talking about.”
So Obama can’t make the moves he wants because he’s not Jewish.. like George Bush? Goddammit. Fortunately, it stops there except nope, just kidding, being a rapper is as dangerous as being a police officer or a soldier is next. That’s the crazy Kanye says next. Via TMZ:
Yeezus made the statements to Saturday Night Online this weekend, saying rapping is very dangerous work — “This is like being a police officer or something … or like war or something.”
“You’re literally going out to do your job every day knowing that something could happen to you.”
At this point, you’re probably wondering what the fuck R. Kelly could possibly say that’s even in the same category as saying being a millionaire rapper is just like being a cop or a soldier, as you should be, but trust me when I say it’s up there. Via The Independent:
“I only feel sorry for weak people,” he told the Guardian’s G2 supplement. “And mostly what I’ve come to find is that the weak people are the ones that are the haters.
“The ones that’s talking about Chris Brown, or R. Kelly, or anybody that’s successful? I feel sorry for them, not Chris Brown, because he’s obviously one strong individual to be able to do what he’s done.”
”He got knocked down a little bit and he climbed up. You know, that sounds like Ali to me. That sounds like Martin Luther King to me.
“That sounds like a lot of the greats that have walked this earth. It even sounds a little bit like Jesus to me.”
That’s right. R. Kelly just likened Chris Brown to Muhammad Ali, Martin Luther King Jr. and Jesus Fucking Christ, the Son of God. I guess the first two kind of make sense considering Chris Brown does punch people and is black, but I don’t recall him being a fictional character. Although, he is a powerful weapon to be used against women, so maybe, R. Kelly, maybe…
Photos: Getty, Splash News