The Paparazzi Are Raping Kanye

By: The Superficial / July 7, 2014

Kanye West made a conscious decision to marry Kim Kardashian, a woman who won’t even stop to pick up toilet paper without tipping off the paparazzi, so he really should’ve come to terms with how things are going to work until he eventually leaves her. But that would require Kanye to not be an insane primadonna who rants for 15 minutes in the middle of the songs, so here he is at the Wireless Festival in London where he played the “getting your picture taken is like rape” card that always goes over well. Right, Charlize Theron? Right. Via The Independent:

“I don’t care what you do in life, everybody needs a day off, everybody has the right to say, ‘You know what, I need a minute to breathe’.
“I want to bring my family to the movies without 30 motherf*****s following me. Everybody here, they like sex right? Sex is great when you and your partner are like, ‘Hey, this is what we both want to do’.
“But if one of those people don’t want to do that, what is that called? That’s called rape. That is called violation.
“So if I walk around and say look sir, I’m not feeling so good today, I need some space, can you please not fuck with me today? I need cut-off space, not violation.”

Of course, a simple solution would be to throw his wife’s cellphone in the toilet before they go somewhere, but that would cause a significant loss in penis-to-butt contact, so I can sympathize in that regard. Then again, I also understand that rape is a very serious and real violent act that leaves its victims legitimately violated and scarred for the rest of their lives whereas getting your picture taken by photographers your mother-in-law tipped off in advance is at best a minor inconvenience that you shrug off two seconds later because it’s a fucking picture. To put it more specifically, an actual rape victim would spend the next several hours either waiting for help, sitting in an ER, and/or not being believed by the police, while you’ll be sitting in a private movie theater getting blown by Kim Kardashian. Do you not even think about this shit, or does a cartoon bunny just tell you to say it? I’d honestly understand if it was the bunny thing.

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Splash News