Nothing Will Happen To Kanye West For Trying To Steal A Camera While Punching A Man

July 25th, 2013 // 37 Comments
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So remember the other day when Kanye West arrived at LAX and assaulted a photographer while trying to steal his camera? Turns out when you’re famous you can just give the city money and they’ll be like, “Crime? I don’t see any crime…” while tossing your police report into the shredder. (See, also: Municipal blowjobs; Lohan, Lindsay) TMZ reports:

LAPD robbery detectives are investigating the photog’s allegation that Kanye tried to steal his camera — but our sources say that dog won’t hunt. The D.A. will NEVER charge Kanye with felony attempted robbery, because there’s no proof he tried to pilfer the camera at LAX.
We’re told cops will send the attempted robbery file to the D.A. and they expect it will be rejected within days.
The next step — the file goes to the L.A. City Attorney for a possible misdemeanor criminal battery prosecution. But here’s why that won’t happen. We’re told Kanye is willing to ante up some cash to make the case go away, and it’s perfectly legal. It’s called a civil compromise and it’s done everyday.

Of course, this probably explains why just before he attacks the guy Kanye says this is going to cost him $250,000 which makes me wonder how much it would cost to just straight murder somebody. Or at least hunt a man, the most dangerous game of all. Because, let’s be honest, you can only buy so many mansions and giant gold bidets to clean the piss off Kim Kardashian before you start getting bored. We’re born hunters, Kanye. Hunters… (Did I forget to say the prey should be Justin Bieber? The prey should be Justin Bieber.)

Photos: Fame/Flynet


  1. Cock Dr

    I think that the cameras are just an excuse for Kanye to get in a little man wrestling time.
    He has needs ya know.

  2. Frank Light

    That’s great but it’s not a misdemeanor it’s a felony. He also fled the scene, and could have been charged with attempted kidnapping.

    • JC

      Ha ha ha! You know this happened in California, right? Kanye could have stabbed the guy in the face while feasting on the roasted leg of the newly born British royal baby, and no charges would have been filed.

    • You really, really need to stop falling asleep before the end of every Law & Order episode. If I grab your arm, or even land a punch, it’s still simple battery, and it’s a misdemeanor – it doesn’t move to into any number of felony classes unless (in some states) you’re a cop, EMT or firefighter or otherwise suffer serious bodily injury. And unless West “fled the scene” (seriously? fled the scene? seriously?) with the pap under his arm or in his car for a substantial distance – uh, nope.

  3. mike

    Good! I’m no Kanye fan but paps are the scum of the earth. Also this douche was provoking him big time!

    • Captain Obvious

      Before everybody goes mental about how paps are scum, do remember that you’re posting on a site (and therefore generating ad revenue for said site) that is only able to exist because of paparazzi photos.

    • How was he provoking him? Speaking to him in a public place???
      And even if he was provoking him, that’s not a reasonable case to assault him.
      I’m actually surprised there aren’t a line of ambulance-chasing lawyers trying to represent this guy in a lawsuit against kanye’s piles of money

    • schmidtler

      After the 90 picture gallery yesterday of Jose Canseco’s teenaged daughter in a thong, I’m not saying anything bad about paparazzi people. They are the real American heroes. Who else is willing to risk violent confrontations to deliver the hard hitting news of our times, like female celebs getting out of a car in an awkward way that exposes their lady parts?

    • Exactly! Notice how not once does the article use the words “paparazzo” or “paparazzi.” These aren’t just photographers. They’re d-bags who like to make money by taking pictures of people and their family just because they’ve made a name for themselves.

  4. Is this a surprise to anyone? Definitely not to me. The police in California will just burst into laughter and walk away from now on whenever anybody ask them if they’re going to charge a celebrity with a crime.

    “Laws are for poor people” they’ll say.

  5. If the photgrapher won’t follow thorough on the charges, it wasn’t a crime.

    Wife beaters walk around every day because the wife won’t follow through on charges on their husbands. (Not saying that there equivalace in the crime, as Domestic Violence would trump slapping around a paparrizi any day. But if some asshole get get to walk away from a crime after he beats the shit out of a woman, why wouldn’t this asshole get to wiggle his way out.)

    • Uh, no. Since the state, through the prosecutor’s office, charges people with criminal actions, it’s not up to the photographer to “follow through” with shit – once he called the cops and accused West of taking his camera without his consent, that was the end of his role as far as “charges” went. The DA probably won’t bring a theft charge unless there’s evidence of intent to deprive, but private citizens don’t have the power to either bring criminal charges – or drop them – against anyone, which is why you can either be subpoenaed or charged with filing a false report if you choose not to cooperate with the DA’s office after you made your initial complaint.

      Domestic battery is another issue, but uncooperative [read: intimidated] victims is exactly why many states now don’t make DV charges dependent on the person who was assaulted – it’s called evidence-based prosecution.

  6. He should be charged with impersonating an artist, but given his back catalogue, there’s a lack of evidence.

  7. Kanye needs to get beat down HARD! He is such an entitled douche.

  8. The paparazzo looks like he’s giggling throughout the exchange.

  9. Why didn’t Kanye just whack the photog with that gay ass parasol he’s always carrying around?

  10. anonymous

    I noticed Kanye didn’t try attacking the bigger guy who obviously works out.

  11. I want to change my career to “guy with camera seeking civil compromises from celebrities.” Seems like a good way to make a living if you follow the right people.

  12. Damn…that’s disappointing. But who could have known California wouldn’t prosecute a celebrity for a crime a muggle would have gone to prison for.

    who could have possibly guessed that:

  13. inkydinky

    of course not. celebs are GODS in hollyweird and can do whatever they please.

  14. TayTay

    Someone needs to slip him a big fat dose of LSD, or mushrooms.. anything that dissolves the ego.

  15. smanchwhich

    I think “Municipal Blowjobs” would be a great name for a band.

  16. eh

    He did not assault a man, it was a paparazzo. In California you get a reward for turning a dead one in, the same way they do in Florida for pythons. And yet they keep proliferating.

  17. kery

    He thinks he is better than everybody but he isn´t. I´m sure the paparazzo will sue him.

  18. XVO

    What’s wrong with that superficial? The cameraman was obviously stalking him so he deserved to be punched in the face. The camera man should be happy that’s all the beating he got.

    It all comes down to race, when a white person looks at a black person funny or tries to talk to them, said white person deserves some whoop-ass.

    I hope you’re not suggesting that cameraman was not being racist! lol, your hypocrisy tastes so sweet!

  19. Steven Seagull

    Just once…. I wish a photographer had the balls to chin check a celebrity that “touches” them. If they grab or push you, it’s self defence…. take advantage and lay that fucker out.

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