Kanye West on Kanye West

If you’re like me, you spent most of the weekend in a hazy fog punctuated by the occasional hamburger, so you probably missed Kanye West going on a two-hour Tweeting session Sunday morning where he finally opened up about interrupting Taylor Swift’s speech at the VMAs. Gizmodo took the time to edit the entire rant into letter form which I highly suggest you scope out if only to witness such incredible insights as “The ego is overdone… like hoodies”; “Sexy Back (in my mind) was that important, that impactful to our culture”; and of course, “Who’s seen the play Wicked? I’ve seen it 4 times!” In the meantime, I’m going to excerpt my favorite passage which (in my mind) truly captures the depths of Kanye’s emotions:

With the help of strong will, a lack of empathy, a li’l alcohol, and extremely distasteful and bad timing, I became George Bush over night. How deep is the scar? I bled hard. Cancelled [a] tour with the number one pop star in the world. Closed the doors of my clothing office. Had to let employees go.

Wait, what? “Had to let employees go?” Let me get this straight, Kanye West was so distraught over his own actions that he was left with absolutely no choice but to fire a bunch of innocent bystanders in the middle of a recession – because he’s sad. Wow, I had no idea he spent his days playing the villain in Charles Dickens’ novels. “My heavens, am I steeped in melancholy. Yo, tell them the bitches to get out on the street and don’t be sending no crippled kids in here asking for Christmas hams. They know I hate it when people can’t walk!”

Photo: Pacific Coast News