Kanye West Isn’t Allowed To Talk At The DNC

“I know we said we’d stop after two, but I’m already feeling like I want to have another baby.”
“Bitch, what?!”

Because the Democrats are apparently feeling a little jealous over their failure so far to introduce a bunch of rambling, incoherent egomaniacs into the 2016 Presidential field, they’ve tapped Kanye West to perform at a Democratic National Committee fundraiser which Obama will attend. And since their only big media flub so far has been Hilary’s planned spontaneity, they decided to let it leak that Kanye’s been told to just sing his dumb song and don’t do any crazy rants, which should go over just awesome. Via Page Six:

But don’t expect West to unleash one of his rants: He’ll be required to stick to performance only.

A source said, “There will be restrictions . . . Kanye won’t be able to lecture the president about how to run the country.”

Because if there’s one thing Kanye West does well, it’s listen to instructions, and if there’s another thing he does well, it’s receive media criticism gracefully, so at least there’s a good chance that he’ll be sniped by the Secret Service when he won’t shut the fuck up about how art is the new civil rights. “I have a dream! That one day leather jorts will be worn with a silk belt and a hounds tooth vest! We didn’t march on Washington for no Dockers chinos and polo shi–” *back of skull explodes*

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