Kanye: ‘My Junk is Like The Sphinx’s Nose’

November 5th, 2010 // 40 Comments
Kanye West

“Did I stutter?”

Kanye West has not only confirmed the penis photo circulating the Internet is him because he only “raps reality,” but he’s now taking umbrage with “the media” chopping the photo in half and showing him just from the waist down. It’s on par with damaging a piece of ancient architecture, is what he’s literally about to say here. Via The Fab Life:

“I went to the Internet. They had the link, I went to it. Man, you cannot imagine how disappointed I was that I got cut off. … The media is scared, they’re scared of me,” he continued on Hot 97. “They’re scared of a black man with this taste level but this connection…So what they do in order to take that power away? They try to turn me into a demon. And it’s happened so many times throughout history. They knocked the nose off the Sphinx. They tried to tell you aliens built the pyramids. … People need to understand, I’m not above the people-I’m of the people. I love the people.”

You know what? I talk a lot of shit about Kanye, but there’s no way I can’t respect a man who equates having his genitals edited with the history of how the Wonders of the Ancient World were built. Christ, his story even had aliens in it! I’m lucky if my penis stories have a woman in them let alone extra-terrestrial beings taking credit for our most recognized architecture so no one figures out Kanye built them. (I’m assuming that was the point here.)

Photo: Getty

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  1. Jones

    Ahhhhhahhaahahhah

  2. Uh…whut?

    Everytime Kanye opens his mouth it’s like a new journey into a magical wonderland of words strung together that you recognize, but they still don’t make any sense.

    I just hope Kanye remembers that legend status comes from dying young…don’t want too long there pal, hall of fame is calling!

  3. fester

    The Great Dick-tator. I’ll bet he makes women wear a Kanye mask while he has sex. “I’m so pretty… I could kiss myself!”

  4. jonesy

    Since we’re comparing junk to historical monuments, I’m going to say mine is like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. That’s right, I can come at you sideways. Call it a hip check. BOOM!

  5. benjy

    shanna hall 4 life

  6. GravyLeg

    Tupac and Biggie die… This POS lives… Go figure…

  7. Lady Blah Blah

    What an annoying bitch. He looks like a hurt little boy who’s hurt because he’s not the center of the universe.

  8. Deacon Jones

    Actually, Kayne’s NOSE looks like the Sphinx’s

  9. GMan

    So basically non existent, not the original, old and sandy, and subject to a restoration every few years. I don’t know about you Kanye, but this is really nothing to brag about. Do your fucking homework before you open your mouth you fucking idiot, oh and come up with some actually cool music for once.

  10. Kanye is an idiot, if he knew his history he’d know the Sphinx lost it’s nose during the Napoleonic wars. It was blown off by a cannon.

    So, Kanye’s penis is like the sphynx? It looks chopped off?

    • Squiggle

      The nose was already lost by the 15th century.

      From the context, I guess Kanye is one of those who think the nose was broken off because it was too ‘black’ and that the current Egyptians are usurpers. A total arsehole, in other words.

  11. Sue

    he’s such a racist pig. and can’t sing worth a damn. he needs to just go away.

  12. Dude gives me a headache.

  13. Savalas

    Dry and crusty, right?

  14. Lol

    What’s so stupid is this site gathering together to talk about Kanye and his junk. A bunch of queers you white guys are. If he is what you say and you hate him so–then you really don’t have bring him up at all but really you guys want him-real bad.

  15. Bow Down Assholes

    Dear Former Pres. George Bush Jr.,

    Please stop giving Kanye free press. You are no longer Pres., so you can stop fucking up the country. It’s Pres. Obama’s turn, and he’s almost doing as good a job as you! Have that second scotch on me!

  16. James

    For fuck’s sake! Is this man REAL anymore!! How more ridiculous and egoistic can you GET? He’s comparing his PENIS to the Egyptian Sphinx and the Pyramids!!!

  17. OK so

    This is one of the FUNNIEST posts you’ve ever written.

  18. Lara

    this is both retarded and hilarious

  19. wim

    that whisker of him is looking like flies on a pile of HORSESH*T, folks!!

  20. ervaughn

    FROM LARRY KING: Kayne you ain’t Shit!

  21. Trina

    That man has balls. No, really. I’ve seen them.

  22. Billy R.

    Shut up you fucking monkey!

  23. roflmao

    wow, that is one ugly gorilla

  24. Dion

    doesnt he like being fisted or something dammmmmmm some one said theirs a picture of him with a 27 inch rubber fist prob up his black ass

  25. Davinci

    Haters let homeboy do his thing

  26. nick

    he is still the biggest idiot on the planet earth

  27. jorge

    HAHAHA, The evil white man blew the nose off the Sphinx because it had a black nose. LOL. Kanye is a black racist who has been brainwashed by racist afrocentrist revisionist history. They say they believe that they once had a great advanced civilization, but the white man destroyed all record and all traces of it in some wild conspiracy. Poof, all of that “magnificent” history vanishing into thin air, the white man must have put all of it in a black hole. We have the Mummies, we have their DNA, and guess what? They are not blacks.

  28. Raphael

    Yeah his junk is like the Sphinx :

    Nonexistent.

  29. Douglas

    “My Junk is Like The Sphinx’s Nose”
    So it’s fallen off and disintegrated into dust? I could believe that.

  30. NotRandal

    Well to be fair the ancient Egyptians would have qualified as blacks under the stupid one drop rule americans still seem to adhere to… and the current population on Egypt is largely arab…

    The US has some retarded racial ideas…

  31. courtney

    well i’m not going to lie, but kanye is right but he’s annoying sometimes yeah…but theres truth behind is statements but the way we percieve them is as ignorant or egotistical but if we look past that…and if you know your history and formulate an opinion for yourself then you would know that yes the nose of the sphinx was cut off to ignore the fact that the Egyptian civilization was of black descent. Which is what some have been trying to cover up to demolish the concept of African intelligence in the past…but hey who am i right?

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